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strict stepmom

Posted by on May. 8, 2013 at 3:19 AM
  • 56 Replies
Hello people, new to this site, ive joined as ive been living with my husband now and his daughter for 5 years his daughter dont see her mum so im in effect her mum but she says i am too strict for a step mum, and is forever playing up,i want to know if anyone else is a strict step mom and also if you think its okay to spank, please dont judge me on the spanking as i havent spanked yet and would only like to hear from people who are not going to go mad about spanking,

Thanks
Laura
by on May. 8, 2013 at 3:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BioNerd
by on May. 8, 2013 at 6:54 AM

 What makes you say that? The only comment here is yours....did she post this somewhere else?

OP - I agree with Chani. (purple)

Quoting chanizen:

It sounds like you only want opinions from people who will agree with you. This is an online forum.

I would not spank a child if I don't have the relationship which supports it. It doesn't sound, to me, like you do. I don't spank my stepkids. I think it is a recipe for disaster.

While most kids think adults are strict. Why does she think you are too strict? How old is the child?

 

laura201313
by on May. 8, 2013 at 7:00 AM
1 mom liked this

No, sorry i think ive been mis-understood, any comments are fine i would just rather not be battled about my thoughts on spanking, that is all.


Thanks

Laura x

BioNerd
by on May. 8, 2013 at 7:08 AM
2 moms liked this

 What we are trying to tell you is that if you are already being perceived as being 'too strict', you spanking is going to make it a lot worse. For the most part, people just don't find it acceptable to put your hands on children that are not yours.

Quoting laura201313:

No, sorry i think ive been mis-understood, any comments are fine i would just rather not be battled about my thoughts on spanking, that is all.

 

Thanks

Laura x

 

kmur
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2013 at 7:38 AM

welcome....

why does she think you are strict, can you give some examples? How old is she? Has she been in the household the whole 5 yrs as well?

I personally dont believe in hitting others peoples kids

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2013 at 7:38 AM
4 moms liked this

How old is your SD? There are two possibilities:

1) she is trying to play you, because she wants to do something that you won't let her do, so she's trying to get you to loosen up so she can do this thing she wants to do.

2) you really are too strict for a SM. Are you more strict than her father? That doesn't work well. maybe you could either:

a. be less strict, or

b. get her father to be MORE strict, so you're not the more strict one.

CodeBlue
by on May. 8, 2013 at 8:26 AM
3 moms liked this
Alright, I will be the big bad stepmom.

I spanked my step kids before. Wanna know why? Because they wouldn't listen, I was mad, and I had NO CLUE what else to do (dad was gone picking up other daughter).

I felt bad, they felt bad, and I didn't do it again. I think, especially when kids are young they don't understand why they're getting spanked. I found timeouts and taking toys away to be WAY more effective.

I was always one of those people who "believed" in spanking - and I absolutely disagree that spanking is child abuse. But I do think that there are much better alternatives.

You shouldn't spank your step kid, that's not going to help her respect you any more. Find something else that works.
shanlee42
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2013 at 8:28 AM
I completely agree with Codeblue's last statement. Find another way because it will only make them perceive you as more strict.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 8, 2013 at 8:36 AM
The last part of the post sounds like that to me.

Now, maybe it wasn't what she meant.... Which is absolutely fine.

But, it's an online forum. So very likely she will hear from spankers and anti spankers and people who don't like the thought of SMS spanking. She will hear from SMS, BMS, both.

Why bring it up? Because she can always open up to another opinion. Even of it is polar opposite to hers. But only if she knows her own stance first.

So I pointed it out. Well, technically, I pointed my perception of what she ways saying out.

:)

I hope she does hear all the opinions. It may be enlightening. You never know...:


Quoting BioNerd:

 What makes you say that? The only comment here is yours....did she post this somewhere else?


OP - I agree with Chani. (purple)


Quoting chanizen:

It sounds like you only want opinions from people who will agree with you. This is an online forum.

I would not spank a child if I don't have the relationship which supports it. It doesn't sound, to me, like you do. I don't spank my stepkids. I think it is a recipe for disaster.

While most kids think adults are strict. Why does she think you are too strict? How old is the child?

 


chanizen
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Lol. Cool. Got it :)

Then I'm still going with: it doesn't sound like the relationship with sd supports it. So, it may do more harm than good....


Quoting laura201313:

No, sorry i think ive been mis-understood, any comments are fine i would just rather not be battled about my thoughts on spanking, that is all.


Thanks

Laura x


ramita
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2013 at 9:14 AM
I have spanked my SS just like I have spanked each of my own kids. I do normally use timeouts/taking stuff away, but he was acting out big time and he hurt my DD on purpose so he did get a spanking for that. Then there was another time I popped his butt one time for being extremely disrespectful, but normally DH handles punishment. If it happens while he's gone SS goes to his room and plays in there until DH either comes home or calls to talk about want happened.

In your case I wouldn't spank SD because she seems to be so against who you are as one of het caretakers. If I were you I would make DH take over punishments. If she does something just send her to her room and tell her you'll let DH know and when he can he'll handle your behavior.
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