My son lives with us full time, his father is uninvolved. He visits my parents on Thursday nights until Friday afternoon. This obviously doesn't give us much down time, since we both work full time. My husbands daughter visits every weekend. 2 years ago, my son started calling my husband daddy, and my husband fully embraced it. After a few weeks of me correcting my son, my husband came to me and said that if I'm okay within it, he wants to be daddy. And so from then on, he became daddy.
My son is aware that he's not the daddy that helped make him, he's the daddy that gets to be his all the time daddy.
Every few months, my husband goes through a stage where for about a week he is just completely annoyed with my son. I try to get a babysitter one weekend a month and then leave it up to him what he wants to do -
A - ask bm to keep SD and have a date night
B - take SD and dedicate the weekend to her completely
C - go out with his friends
He usually picks a or c . I'd say ,maybe 3 times in the past year has he picked b.
Now by annoyed with my son, I mean snapping at him for stupid stuff, being too hard on him. Yesterday dh and Ds were watching superman cartoons. I was in my room reading. My husband fell asleep on the couch so my son asked if he could play video games. I said yes, but only for an hour. He turned the volume down so he didn't wake dh and sat on the flood playing video games. I moved out to the living room.
I went outside to have a smoke 45 minutes later. My husband woke up while I was outside and started yelling at my son about the game. I went in to see what was going on, my husband was like I was watching TV and he just turns on his game without asking.
1 you were sleeping
2 he did ask
3 you bought him the game and taught him how to play it - it's Spiderman of course he loves it.
Then as I'm putting my son to bed, dh starts yelling at him that he better not get up for any reason. The kid hadn't done anything to warrant getting yelled at. And we just moved 2 weeks ago, he's adjusting to his new room. I think he's doing great adjusting. He's going to Ned every night without a fight, not getting up unless he has a legitimate excuse like going to the bathroom
So D's comes downstairs, he forgot his baby. He has slept with this thing every night of his life. My husband can't stand this bear because ex bought it for D's. I don't really care - ds doesn't know where it came from and ex chose to not be involved so why does it matter where the thing came from. Dh starts yelling at ds that he's too old for babies and he needs to get back in bed right now.
50 minutes later, ds comes downstairs to pee. You can tell he's half asleep like he just woke. Dh starts yelling at him thst he should have peed before bed.
This morning ds was having a rough time waking up. He was in a good mood, just tired. It was 5 AM. I didn't want to get up either and dh was complaining about needing a personal day.
He starts yelling at ds that if he would go to sleep at night instead of getting up 80 times he would be in a better mood. D's was in a great mood, and the yelling made him cry. I snapped on dh and told him to stop fucking talking shit to ds because he's fucking cranky. D's didn't do a damn thing. Dh went and sat in the car for 20 minutes until it was time to leave. Then didn't say another word to me or ds the entire way to work.
I am so tired of this shit.
Okay sorry end vent. I am walking into work so I have to stop - I'll pop in and out throughout the day