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Stuck-up, Judgmental SM! ***Update***

Posted by on May. 9, 2013 at 6:53 PM
  • 136 Replies

My DSD has a friend (we'll call her S) who lives with her dad and his gf.
He seems really laid back and awesome.
SHE, on the other hand, is two-faced and snooty.
I smoke cigarettes. Only in my garage, and my children aren't allowed in there.
Well, this friend of my DSD's, who is 7, was walking home from the bus to an empty house. I feel that she is way too young to be staying by herself, so I offered, nicely, to take her to my house on days when neither parent could pick her up from the bus.
It was agreed by S's dad, but from the beginning, S told DSD that her SM doesn't want her to come over because we smoke, so she hasn't been coming over.
I talked to S's dad last month, told him that we only smoke in the garage, so if that was a problem, then it shouldn't be, because his DD wasn't being affected by it.
S came over two times last week, the kids had snack and played in the kids' playroom (where there are a lot of toys!) and just had fun being together outside of school.
On Monday, S tells her that SM has said, once again, that S is not allowed to come over.
So, this woman would rather her precious SD be home alone, at 7 years old, than here, having fun, getting attention and praise.
Stupid, stupid, judgmental woman!
All DSD wants is to have friends over to pla with her.
This is the only girl who has ever been over to play with DSD, and it makes me wonder if DSD's best friend, S, will be coming to her party this summer.
Maybe SM won't let her, dumb bi**h!

angry



**ETA**-
My garage is attached, but there is no door directly into my house from it. I have to go outside to get inside.
The SM and I used to talk all the time while we were waiting for the bus. I would smoke while waiting, and talking to her (I always get there early enough for the smoke to disssipate before the bus arrives).
So, she knew I smoked WAY before S ever came over to my house. And didn't seem to have a problem with it.
Yes, I wash my hands after smoking. No, I don't change my clothes.
My house is clean, I am a good mother.
Yes, I smoke. But that is all I do. I never drink or do any drugs.
I smoke in the safest way I know to keep my kids away from it.
Also, if I'm walking down the street and notice a child of any age coming near me while I'm smoking, I cross the street, to keep the child away from it.
I've had parents thank me for doing this. I even make friends of mine do the same if they are smoking, too.

*Plus ETA*    S also, at 7 years old, doesn't sit in a car seat.
She sits on the normal seat in the car. She's not much taller than my DSD, maybe ten-fifteen pounds heavier than DSD, and my kids has at least two more years before we would feel comfortable taking her out of her booster.
So, I don't think it's all about the 'saftey' of S comingto a smokers' house, honestly.


***Update***
So, S's dad came to pick her up from the bus today and I was able to talk with him.
Our convo-
"S told us how you don't want her over anymore because I smoke. I understand completely, and no judgment.
"However, I was just wondering if this is going to affect S coming over for DSD's birthday party?"
"No, not at all. When is her birthday?"
I told him.
"Yeah, S's is..."
"Okay. Cool, So, we'll see her there?"
Definitely."
So, I handled the situation well, I think.

Mother to (IMO) the two best kids EVER born. I am a vaxing, corporal punishment (when called for!), loving, teaching my kids to be good, kind, caring, strong, independant people kinda MOMMA.
I am almost an LMT and love making people feel good!

by on May. 9, 2013 at 6:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sandiekd21
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 6:56 PM

BUMP!

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM
8 moms liked this
My kids aren't allowed at smokers' houses either. I have asthma and the stench on their clothes can aggravate it. It doesn't matter how little the person smokes, it still smells.

Beyond that, I think it sets a horrible example. I think it shows a lack of self control and an indifference to health that I don't want promoted to my kids - bio or step.

Many people quit for their kids. There a variety if reasons, but social problems are one of them. Smoking is your choice - this is one of the consequences of that choice.
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:14 PM

Maybe they just don't want their kid playing with yours?

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:15 PM
Are you sure the real reason is because of the smoking? Do you know these people well?

I agree a seven year old should not be home alone, btw, and they should make better arrangements.
rollin3kidsdeep
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:15 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't let my kids go to smokers houses either, sorry. I too have asthma and the smell is overwhelming. I get that you smoke in the garage but no matter what it is still indoors, on you, on your hands. If that makes me a stuck up judgemental bitch, so be it
DDDaysh
by on May. 9, 2013 at 7:20 PM
3 moms liked this

Well, the truth is, if there's a real sensetivity to smoke just the transfer from your clothing, to the air, to her clothing could be bad enough.  Just smoking in the garage isn't the same as not smoking.  


But since you don't KNOW what the actual problem is, I'd just back off.  

twinklebites
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:22 PM

Sorry your SD is hurt, I wouldn't let my kids go over there either The small alone could send DS into an asthma attack even if he didn't go just his sister went. Stop smoking it isnt doing you any good!

Sandiekd21
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:40 PM

That's bull crap.
I grew up with asthma and my parents smoking never harmed it, I never had a flare up and I don't remember EVER having to use my inhaler at home. Only while doing PE in school.
I think you are judgmental.
I smoke. I don't drink. I'm not using drugs.

Quoting HopesNDreams:

My kids aren't allowed at smokers' houses either. I have asthma and the stench on their clothes can aggravate it. It doesn't matter how little the person smokes, it still smells.

Beyond that, I think it sets a horrible example. I think it shows a lack of self control and an indifference to health that I don't want promoted to my kids - bio or step.

Many people quit for their kids. There a variety if reasons, but social problems are one of them. Smoking is your choice - this is one of the consequences of that choice.


leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:45 PM
3 moms liked this

Perhaps your asthma wasn't as sensitive as some other persons were. No one has asthma in my house and I wouldn't allow my kids over the home of a smoker, I just don't like the smell of cigarettes.

Quoting Sandiekd21:

That's bull crap.
I grew up with asthma and my parents smoking never harmed it, I never had a flare up and I don't remember EVER having to use my inhaler at home. Only while doing PE in school.
I think you are judgmental.
I smoke. I don't drink. I'm not using drugs.

Quoting HopesNDreams:

My kids aren't allowed at smokers' houses either. I have asthma and the stench on their clothes can aggravate it. It doesn't matter how little the person smokes, it still smells.

Beyond that, I think it sets a horrible example. I think it shows a lack of self control and an indifference to health that I don't want promoted to my kids - bio or step.

Many people quit for their kids. There a variety if reasons, but social problems are one of them. Smoking is your choice - this is one of the consequences of that choice.



Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:47 PM
2 moms liked this

That's not bull crap.

My husband can't handle cigarette smoke or going down the laundry detergent aisle or candle aisle at the grocery store without issues with his asthma. I'm very limited with the types of air freshener or candles I can use in the house, otherwise it can cause problems.

And, any doctor will tell you that if you smoke, change your clothes before going around children or holding a baby, the chemicals from the smoke get into the clothes and can still be breathed in. It's not just the actual smoke that can damage the lungs. 


Quoting Sandiekd21:

That's bull crap.
I grew up with asthma and my parents smoking never harmed it, I never had a flare up and I don't remember EVER having to use my inhaler at home. Only while doing PE in school.
I think you are judgmental.
I smoke. I don't drink. I'm not using drugs.

Quoting HopesNDreams:

My kids aren't allowed at smokers' houses either. I have asthma and the stench on their clothes can aggravate it. It doesn't matter how little the person smokes, it still smells.

Beyond that, I think it sets a horrible example. I think it shows a lack of self control and an indifference to health that I don't want promoted to my kids - bio or step.

Many people quit for their kids. There a variety if reasons, but social problems are one of them. Smoking is your choice - this is one of the consequences of that choice.




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