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Why does a 13 year old need a SAHM? *Sorry for the rant*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...

I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.

Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 

Sorry...rant over for now...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 10, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Replies (21-30):
packermomof2
by on May. 10, 2013 at 9:15 PM
4 moms liked this

FTR, the most common time for pregnancy to occur is between 3 and 5 p.m....

You know, that time between school and when parents are getting home...

bbyB10
by on May. 10, 2013 at 9:20 PM
No access to the internet in my home ;)))))))) my kids can't have cell phones, xbox live ,wifi etccccc


Quoting packermomof2:




Quoting bbyB10:

I do because its a crucial age , where the " my moms at work anyway" I can get away with anything crap starts ! He IS NOT my youngest either but that's my reason and I did not make the sahm decision only for my baby but him too my only son



You mean you actually care about your kid and what they are doing even as a teen?  You didn't just decide that at 13 the kid was going to for sure always make good choices and do the right thing and not try to see what he could get away with because you were at work? You didn't think it was the bestest idea ever to leave a 13 year old to his own devices for a couple of hours every day?



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 10, 2013 at 9:45 PM

I'm honestly jelly of moms that work but til both are in high school it will be near impossible for me to work while they are in school. The middle school is 45mins away but the high school is a 10 min walk. I think once they are in high school it wont be as hard. 

I've been told work oppisite shift as DH and yeah that would work if DH didn't work a 24 on 72 off 72 on 24 off. An he has a part time job that he just picked up for his 72 off he works from 1pm to 10pm on those 72 off.

Quoting momof2ex1:

I'm jelly cause I work and I have a hell of a time keeping up with all the schedules. And I hate having to find a ride for my junior high schooler. No more daycare .. It was much easier to be a working mom when she was little. It's more difficult now than ever before. I would stay home if I could. But dh doesn't want to be the only provider bc it puts too much pressure on him to have to work long hours. He wants to be home too.


Quoting Anonymous:

Hmmmm are you going to pick up the kids from school for me? Are you going to help with home work? Are you going to cook the meals? 

The kids schools are 45mins drive time away from where we live they can't just walk home and there is no school busing in this distract.

I get all the house work done so I don't know who you are talking about and I know most SAHM's are the same as me get the shit done.

I think you are just jelly that some of us can be home for our kids and we don't have to worry about them getting knocked up at 12 and 13 years old.

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...


I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.


Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 


Sorry...rant over for now...




twinklebites
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2013 at 9:52 PM

 

Meanest Mom ever!!!!!!!!sidesplittinglaughter

Quoting bbyB10:

No access to the internet in my home ;)))))))) my kids can't have cell phones, xbox live ,wifi etccccc


Quoting packermomof2:

 

 


Quoting bbyB10:

I do because its a crucial age , where the " my moms at work anyway" I can get away with anything crap starts ! He IS NOT my youngest either but that's my reason and I did not make the sahm decision only for my baby but him too my only son

 


You mean you actually care about your kid and what they are doing even as a teen?  You didn't just decide that at 13 the kid was going to for sure always make good choices and do the right thing and not try to see what he could get away with because you were at work? You didn't think it was the bestest idea ever to leave a 13 year old to his own devices for a couple of hours every day?

 



 

bbyB10
by on May. 10, 2013 at 11:01 PM
YUP


Quoting twinklebites:

 


Meanest Mom ever!!!!!!!!sidesplittinglaughter


Quoting bbyB10:

No access to the internet in my home ;)))))))) my kids can't have cell phones, xbox live ,wifi etccccc



Quoting packermomof2:


 


 



Quoting bbyB10:

I do because its a crucial age , where the " my moms at work anyway" I can get away with anything crap starts ! He IS NOT my youngest either but that's my reason and I did not make the sahm decision only for my baby but him too my only son

 



You mean you actually care about your kid and what they are doing even as a teen?  You didn't just decide that at 13 the kid was going to for sure always make good choices and do the right thing and not try to see what he could get away with because you were at work? You didn't think it was the bestest idea ever to leave a 13 year old to his own devices for a couple of hours every day?


 





 


sarawags
by on May. 10, 2013 at 11:12 PM


Excellent point!  I've heard/read that stat before too -


Quoting packermomof2:

FTR, the most common time for pregnancy to occur is between 3 and 5 p.m....

You know, that time between school and when parents are getting home...



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 11, 2013 at 7:08 AM

 

 

Quoting momof2ex1:

Almost ALL of my daughter (12)'s friends have SAHMs. I am one of a very few that work. I am a firm believer that at least one parent should be at home if at all possible. I would be if I could. So good for you. You are doing right by your kids. They have an available parent at all times. It's ok that parents have to work. An ideal situation is for one to be there. I know I am finding it so difficult to be there for my daughter after school and finding someone to do it for me (other than my mom) because once they can't go to daycare it is hell trying to get them home. We don't live close enough for her to walk and not far enough for a bus... So ... I feel like I'm always having to ask people to help me out and I'm constantly having to take off work for this or that. Which is very stressful.


Quoting Anonymous:

I have been a sahm since my kids were smaller.Now my youngest is 13 and I am still at home.I definitely thought I would be back to work by now too.


Turns out me being at home still just works out best for our family.Every kid is different.Every family is different.My dh and I still feel its best for our family I am home for now.


My teens love it and so do I:)


 


 

 Thankyou...I was surprised at how being a sahm helped my son when he was a teen.I think me being home helped me keep an eye on him.The teen years are a time when kids can get involved in alot of mischief.

With my daughter I just like to keep a protective eye and she enjoys me being home.I used to babysit for a neighbor of mine.Our daughters are still friends.The babysitting arrangement worked out fine for all of us.

I used to work when my son was up to 7 yr...so I understood for my neighbor  how hard it is to juggle work and children.

Hope you find a babysitter you can depend on soon.

jeweldragons
by on May. 11, 2013 at 7:10 AM
5 moms liked this

Not every couple wants both parents working.  I think teenagers need a parent at home to guide them and keep them out of trouble.

rebeccasmly
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this

That made me smile. That is something DH and I have talked about ourselves. The reality in today's economy is that many families have to have 2 incomes which means that may also be a reality for our children. We've talked about how I can be here for the grandkids too if needed. Its nice to see it from the perspective of a child where their mom is helping with the grandkids. Thank you!

Quoting momof2ex1:

My mom was SAHM for 13 years and had to go back to work when I was 2. She worked from then until I was about 29 and she lost her job/laid off. She is now a sahWIFE. She is also a sahgrandma. Like today for example. I had to work but Ds had a party at school for mom's. grandma went. And then she picked up my dd. brought them home and stayed with them until I got home. She was never home when I was a kid. I started staying home alone when I was about 9. She was never home during the summer. She had to work. I think she is making up for all of that time. We are out of the house and my dad is financially stable enough that she can be a house wife. And she gets to do things for us that we can't do because we are working. Like pick up my kids or attend a party. Or go on field trips. Keep them during the summer instead of daycare or being home alone. I would have liked to have had her home when I was a kid but I am so grateful for her now. That she gets to be with my kids now.


Quoting rebeccasmly:

Out of 6 children, 5 of them are teens or almost teens. I am a SAHM and plan on remaining a SAHM until my youngest is out of the house. In fact, DH and I have talked about me never going back to work full time. By the time our youngest is out of the house, we're not going to be young anymore. The talk is now for me to help out with my husband's business and working with some of the charities I have a heart for. Am I not being responsible? I can guarantee you, I am not lazy. In fact, I have a hard time doing nothing. Between home schooling, ECs, church work, charity work and my husband's business, we are extremely busy. Plus I keep my house up, make sure our land is cared for properly, have a large garden and we raise livestock. I know my kids don't need me home anymore but I find joy in staying home with them. As my children near the age of leaving the nest, I am so grateful for the decision to become a SAHM and remain a SAHM.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 13, 2013 at 10:20 AM
2 moms liked this

I work full time and am still home before the kids get off the bus.  It's about making sacrifices.  If you feel your child cannot be left unattended, make it work around your schedules.  What it's about is providing for your family.  When you can't afford to provide your child underwear and socks or clothes that fit because you're too lazy to try and find a job and would rather be a SAHM then there are issues. 

I don't expect my husband to be a sole provider for our family because it isn't fair to him.  Why should I be the one spending all my days at home raising the kids when he wants to be home with his kids just as badly?   

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