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Why does a 13 year old need a SAHM? *Sorry for the rant*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...

I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.

Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 

Sorry...rant over for now...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 10, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Replies (211-220):
mattem05
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:31 PM
2 moms liked this

I find that the older my kids get the more work they are. Especially when they are in extra cirricular sports. Plus all the days off from school are maddining. The early morning practices, the late night meets in the heat of cross country season some Fridays I was up at 5 to get my son (17 now a senior) to school for early morning practice by 5:45 so he could run for an hour. Then getting him to a team meeting, pasta party Friday nights with a pick up at 9:30/10. Then turning around to get him to school on Saturday so that he could catch the team bus to a meet. The earliest was a 4:30 am departure to an out of state meet, but usually they left about 7. We don't have a 2nd car so I can't let him drive himself. With a senior and a 3rd grader keeping their schedules straight keeping the house up there is no way I could work outside of the house and be the parent I want to be ie there for my kids.

AuntTeen
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm glad for anyone who can afford it to be a SAHM. Kids need an adult in the home when they are teenagers. I went back to work when I thought my kids were capable of being home without an adult. I had no idea that they were in danger until they were all out of the home and on their own. They have laughed and told tales about the three of them and my husband's sister's 4 kids getting together and going swimming at various places--one and old rock crusher that was extremely deep. Our youngest and my SIL's youngest both almost drowned and we never knew it. I saw a young man dragged out of that same hole of water once and it was sickening. And one of my SIL's kids drowned in another place later; but my kids were not with him at the time. So Moms, don't let anyone make you feel bad for staying home with your teenagers.
jc20089
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this

ummmm last time I checked a thirteen year old is still a child! and frankly, if a women decided to "stay home" all the way untill her grandchildren were born, SO WHAT?? she and her husband have decided thats what they want and for whatever reason works for them.  So why are you so bothered by all this?

momofjkkc
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah its alot. But we dont have to pay for the oldest anymore. But we still help her out with gas money and her school books. I will give the mom alot of credit they are really good girls. I love them to death. And we have an odd relationship. We all really get along. She even takes my son for a few days over the summer or to the movies and stuff. But between her new husband and the rest of us theres over a 20 yr age difference. I think it helps.


Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

If the skids were taken good care of,I guess I could see why a dad wouldn't complain. I see the other side with my skids bm but I do dds how if she was a good bm,my dh wouldn't have an issue supporting her beig a SAHM.



Eeeekkkk. That's a lot of $$. Lol.




Quoting momofjkkc:

I know I'm quoting myself but I would also like to add my dh ex wife is a sahm also and has been since their divorce. My step girls are 19 in first year of college and 14 going into the 8th grade. We have been paying $1150every month for childsupport and my dh has never complained about her not working once in 14 years. As long as he knows his babies are taken care of he is fine with us staying home. Thats his priority.






Quoting momofjkkc:

That is your opinion and it works for your family and thats great for you. Obviously not everyone feels that way. I have been on both sides. I work full time+ until my son was 9. I am now a SAHM and that works for my family. I don't see the point of you judging others or putting such a generalized opinion on the.moms that do choose to stay home. How does the fact that others choose to stay home affect you and your daily life?








Quoting Anonymous:

I work full time and am still home before the kids get off the bus.  It's about making sacrifices.  If you feel your child cannot be left unattended, make it work around your schedules.  What it's about is providing for your family.  When you can't afford to provide your child underwear and socks or clothes that fit because you're too lazy to try and find a job and would rather be a SAHM then there are issues. 





I don't expect my husband to be a sole provider for our family because it isn't fair to him.  Why should I be the one spending all my days at home raising the kids when he wants to be home with his kids just as badly?   




MIA0223
by Member on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:58 PM
I plan to be a sahm even when all the kids are in school.
But I am not lazy.
DH wanted me home before we even had kids. That's just how it is in his culture.
And I am liking it now that we have kids. I worked before I had DD, but now that we have kids, I can see I will still stay busy even with them in school!
And by time we are done with kids we will probably have grandkids by them so I will be busy with them!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Shelly126
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:59 PM
Quoting Anonymous:
oooooo that sounds like an awesome idea! I hope it's something you can get up and running! I love watching that show eat street about all the food trucks out there, some of them look soooooo amazing! I am in NY and I used to work in manhattan, loved the food trucks! Although I am now a SAHM to twin 2 1/2yr old boys and my DH & I discuss this all the time.......when I will go back to work. He is a CPA & CFP so fortunately money isn't an issue, but I had a career before we had our boys, I was a radiologic technologist and I loved my job, my patients and my company. I worked in mammography and specialized in breast biopsies, it was such gratifying work and I always have it in my mind to return one day. I keep up on my CME credits, attend workshops to keep current with technology, I am very close with some of the doctors and administrators from my old company and they let me attend some in house training seminars because they always ask me when I would like to come back! But like people here are commenting, what about the children that are in the middle, not preschoolers and not off to college, how do they get around with all these different activities, who is there for these middle schoolers and yes even high schoolers, who are so impressionable and vulnerable to making the wrong choices due to lack of supervision. I love my profession, but I love my kids more! I guess only time will tell when it's right for me to be to back.
Good luck with your food truck idea! I hope it's a winner!
Mandymug
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:06 PM
These responses are totally missing the point of the original post. she is complaining about a woman who is not a responsible parent, being lazy ect... She is not bashing SAhMs.
JennPearce
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:18 PM
I don't have teens yet, but dh & I decided before having kids I would stay home with our kids and take care of them & the home. I'm also homeschooling this fall so my plate if full. I hardly ever get to watch tv & sit on my butt.
Viajo
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:23 PM

 If she is helping said SAHM's ex pay child support for said SAHM to sit around, be lazy and then send half the bills OR MORE to her then she has EVERY right to bitch and be judgmental...I know I definitely would as well!


Quoting Anonymous:

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...

I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.

Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 

Sorry...rant over for now...


 

kendyd
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:25 PM
What does it matter? My kids are 14 and 10 and still stay at home(I have worked) and I am always available for my kids. Their dad is gone a lot so why have another one not home with them? Seems like the ones who do not stay home are either jealous or something of us who do. It's not like I set around all day and do jack, I clean, cook, do laundry, pay all the bills, grocery shop, run all the erands, do my school work ect...
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