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Why does a 13 year old need a SAHM? *Sorry for the rant*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...

I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.

Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 

Sorry...rant over for now...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 10, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Replies (221-230):
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:46 PM

How exactly does this affect you?

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 12:06 AM
If its not about you and your family, I think you should stay out of it. It's not your direct family is it?

What's the problem? Does it affect you? Is it you? If no, who cares.
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this

As a mom to eight children, ages 17 (boy) down to 1 (girl)  - i can tell you - teens need you at home just as much as toddlers do.  Not as much as babies :) - but teens are going through enormous changes physically, emotionally, spiritually.  They are doing much what a caterpillar does when they turn into a butterfly - tons of energy expended, tons of emotional investment needed.  What teens need most is stability, unconditional love, support, acceptance, an ear to listen (they talk as much as toddlers do, too!)...

It's a big job, and if this sahm has been divorced, i can see how that would be completely debilitating.  My parents just divorced two years ago, and i am far from "over it"... I don't know how children survive divorce, and how the parents involved can live with themselves...

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this

its not about age its about maturity. 

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 12:56 AM

Hmmm,  you're right.

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:09 AM
1 mom liked this

There are 180 school days out of 365.....there are 102 weekend days.  282 days total, that leaves 83 days (most of them in a row) that a 13 year old child would be home alone for 8-10 hrs per, not at all a recipe for disaster, no way.....

My mom was a SAHM for most of my childhood, the only time she worked was a few years when I was in high school that she worked as a lunch cook at central kitchen (great job, home when we were)  My house was the one we hung out at because the parents knew there was supervision, it was a good thing.

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:16 AM

 Who gives a shit. If people want to be a stay at home parent, even when their kids are old enough to pretty much take care of themselves, let them. Who are they bothering? lol. No one.

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:35 AM


by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:55 AM
1 mom liked this

After reading this, then having my head explode (grrrr.) - to answer your question: does a 13 year old need a stay at home mom?  YES.

What is the benefit?  I don't expect anyone else to drive my kids around for their activities, pick them up after school, or supervise their homework, chores, and household responsibilities, take them to the doctor, do their laundry, make their meals, BE THERE when I get the call from the school nurse that they were ill at school..... and I could go on, but I think I made my point!

And should I be working?  (holding my head together as I try to write this).... YOU find me a freaking job and I'll be there tomorrow!!!!!  I have a graduate degree, and a box full of rejection letters from employers.  Before I had my babies, I did work in my field for 8years --- and I KNOW that was much (MUCH, MUCH) easier than being a SAHM.  I could do projects, meet deadlines, set appointments  and keep to a schedule.  Now, I have a child wake me up at 3am, explain that they just threw up all over the bed...... oh, yeah - all the plans I had for the next day were just cancelled so I can care for a sick child (and clean up a very unpleasant mess)!  And I have no warning when something is going to come up  that I have to be there, 24/7; 365 for my kids.   Sure, teens can take care of themselves more than babeis can, but I don't see teens needing me that much less - their needs just take different resources and allocations of my time and effort.

op - ridiculous.   At least you ended it with "sorry"..... you should be!

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:55 AM
1 mom liked this
Troll, pure and simple. Even if the OP is complaining about a specific person in her personal life, she's made her rant into a blanket statement about sahms in general, drawing out a lot of defense for a lifestyle choice that really is no one's business other that the person/family that makes the choice.

If the OP wants to get specific about someone she has good reason to resent in her personal life, ok... Till then, I think it's pretty sad that she's used a platform where everyone comes for support and community to basically bash and bully on an entire demographic that easily makes up half of the cafemom population, and already have enough of being treated like what they do isn't worthy of being taken seriously without having to read trash like this in their email box on any given day.
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