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Why does a 13 year old need a SAHM? *Sorry for the rant*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...

I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.

Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 

Sorry...rant over for now...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 10, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Replies (241-250):
tnawaldrop
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I'm just guessing this person was just ranting about a SAHM that doesn't do what a normal SAHM does, that it was more for the ladies that decide to become a SAHM because they want to be lazy and doesn't want to work.
AmosFarkle
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I became a latch-key kid in 8th grade because my brother was going off to college and mom needed to go back to work to help pay for it.  No problem. She left me instructions how to start dinner and I spent some time on the phone or doing homework.  She was home in an hour or two.  If I had a dr. appointment or something else important, she had it worked out that she could leave.  

Your premise is that all day long the mom does nothing and uses having a teenage kid (in school all day) as an excuse.  I don't know when you became a shape-shifter and could be a fly on the wall to see what else goes on.  So really, it's none of your beezwax.

Scribbleprints
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 2:28 PM

I do know situations where a mom of teens decided to stay at home because their kids were getting into trouble after school  (of course, there are jobs you can do during school hours, and she may have found one of these eventually, but the job she was in didn't allow for that).  And of course, I know moms who homeschool and of course that is an absolutely legitimate reason to stay home.

kensjo
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Until you have walked a mile in that shams life, you have no clue what the situation is. My kids needed me home more when they were teens than when they were babies. Knowing I was home kept them out of a lot of trouble. Who r u to judge
Reughr
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 6:24 PM

I'm not quite understanding the SAHM rant, but i can offer a different perspective. I have 4 kids and it surprises me that each one has an issue. My oldest has a learning disability and suffers from depression, my 2nd has ADHD and my 3rd is autistic. Now I find that there is the possibility that my 4th, my baby girl might eventually go deaf... unless we start sound treatment/therapy. 

From my understanding its already hard taking care of several children but then when you mix in mental, emotional, and cognitive issues... DAMN. It's very difficult to focus on a full time job, even a parttime one with 4 kids running around that need, triple the amount of doctors visits, therapy, have school issues that need to be constantly addressed, etc. I don't regret being a parent and I don't hate my kids for their issues, but I feel that the only way I can focus on them to grow them up into the "useful members of society" that everyone wants them to be (so they don't fall back on the system) is to give them close monitoring and attention. I have been unfortunately let go from a few jobs because I was busy, on the phone planning appointment, checking with babysitters, etc. Plus the amount of money it takes for a daycare for a special needs child is outrageous. 

I try NOT to complain or ask for help (even from my parents) and that is stressful but I would think that I can at the very least be allowed to raise my kids however neccessary without additional criticism that I'm giving them extra attention. 

Nikkimarie14
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:01 PM
2 moms liked this
Actually, I am a stay at home mom to a one year old and I also have a part time job working from home. I think the most important time to be home with your kids is when they are teenagers. Have you ever been one? My mom was the best and was a single parent working. She managed to make it to all out events and stalked us like any good parent should but when she did have to work we did everything we could that we weren't supposed to. She says if she could do anything she would have been home with us as teenagers. It is an incredibly crucial time in making sure kids turn out to be responsible adults. I plan to work from home probably forever but I want to be home for all stages.
momof2girls339
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:51 AM

I have 3 kids, 17 months, 5 1/2 and 7. I plan to go back to work only part time during school hours when the youngest is in first grade. I  have a 4 year business degree, but since my husband travels out of town for weeks at a time, I work out of my home part time now so I can be home to help with homework, drive to lessons, attend school functions, etc.

I was doing some things as a teenager that my parents did not know about and were risky, but I was lucky. I didn't get pregnant as a teen, and didn't become a drug addict. But I very well easily was on that path because no one was watching me, no one scheduled anywhere for me to be, I had lots of free time, and no supervison.  

I won't make much money when I go back to work, but I will be contributing and it will get me out of the house. I will feel productive and be happier than at home all day while the kids are at school.

chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:53 AM

 Your post makes you sound bitter you are working and your SO's ex is not. I haven't even read the replies so I could be wrong about your situation but that's what I got from reading your "rant". lol

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:52 PM
True,but sometimes we as moms have to know the "kids or skids" aren't telling all the truth.

If bm was to ask my ss13 what I do all day,he would reply with "I have no idea. She doesn't do anything all day". Lol.

So hopefully this might give her some perspective to make such a blanket statement when in fact she's complaint of one bm. Not SAHM 's. IMO



Quoting Mandymug:

These responses are totally missing the point of the original post. she is complaining about a woman who is not a responsible parent, being lazy ect... She is not bashing SAhMs.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
destiny83
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 7:17 PM

I worked up until 2 years ago. It was important to my DH and I that by the time the kids reached tween years we would have me staying home. Somedays my house doesn't get cleaned much-especially in the summer when they are out of shool and I'm out with them doing neat and fun things rather than having them glued to the ipods. Sometimes softball runs late and I don't really want to start cooking at 8pm so I'll tell DH to get takeout for us on his way home. He doesn't mind at all, he's grateful for what I provide.

I'm just saying that if you stopped at my house on the right day there's a chance you would see me in my messy living room chowing down on some KFC. But we're happy and my kids don't have the space to get into trouble. 

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