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Why does a 13 year old need a SAHM? *Sorry for the rant*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I understand SAHM's when children are younger, IE not in school or just starting school, but at 13 most children can be left at home for periods of time and spend the majority of the day at school as it is.  So why does a 13 year old need a SAHM?  What is the benefit?  Especially when the mom can't seem to get the laundry done, groceries purchased, or dinner made...

I think it's been used as a cop out to avoid having to get up in the morning and be a responsible adult like everyone else.  It is ultimately an excuse to stay home, be lazy, watch tv, and get fat while someone else supports the child you should be working to mutually support.

Being a SAHM is for mothers that actually care and are attentive to their children's needs.  It's about the child, not the laziness of the mother. 

Sorry...rant over for now...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 10, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Replies (31-40):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:24 AM
4 moms liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

I work full time and am still home before the kids get off the bus.  It's about making sacrifices.  If you feel your child cannot be left unattended, make it work around your schedules.  What it's about is providing for your family.  When you can't afford to provide your child underwear and socks or clothes that fit because you're too lazy to try and find a job and would rather be a SAHM then there are issues. 

I don't expect my husband to be a sole provider for our family because it isn't fair to him.  Why should I be the one spending all my days at home raising the kids when he wants to be home with his kids just as badly?   

Because somewhere in your brain you have relegated being a SAHParent to having no worth. Ask the kids when they are grown ups which ones they liked and felt nurtured from best. I cant imagine all the latch key kids saying it was awesome!

Sometimes, being a SAHParent IS the sacrifice we make for our kids.

Pero2
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Actually, a colleague of mine recently took 6 months parental leave for her 11-year old. I found that peculiar, until she explained to me that she felt her DD needed her more now than 6 years ago.

I thought about this for a while, since my DD is the same age ... and I had to agree. I think she is at her most difficult at the moment. Not necessarily naughty, but her drive to find independence isn't always in line with what she can actually accomplish on her own.

Birdseed
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:32 AM
3 moms liked this

Your post is full of underlying issues, judgment and irrational expectations.

Most people who work full time cannot be home in time for the bus drop unless they work 2nd or 3rd shift.  Most professionals work between the hours of 8 and 6 and have a commute to deal with.  Not sure what kind of sweet full time job you have, but I've been working a long time and never had a full time job or even a PT job that allowed me to be home by 2:30 when the kids get off school.

Providing for the family?  Yeah, I've done that solely on my own for my DH when laid off and my skids.  When you talk about providing for the family and then list underwear and socks--hell, I can do that with spare change in the couch cushions. Not providing those things isn't about working or not, it's about doing or not.

"Why should I be the one spending all my days at home raising the kids when he wants to be home with his kids just as badly?"

Great question.  But most couples, if afforded the opportunity, would rather have one parent home.  Typically whomever makes the most money works and whomever has a lessor opportunity for income stays home when they want to have a SAH parent.

Why do you care so much?  It sounds to me like this is a $$ thing for you.  Are you pissed about paying CS or what?

I'll tell you this, if my DH and I are able to have kids of our own, I'll be a SAHM.  And when we go overseas and have his kids who are 13 and 15, I will ALSO be a SAHM.  Why?  Because someone needs to be available to get them to and from activities and not have work pulling them in another direction.

I have had a wonderful career. I've started companies on multiple continents, been in charge of multi million dollar contracts.  I'm very good at what I do.  

But the kids are more important to us than the extra income.  We'd rather budget than have the kids sitting home alone.

If your issue is underwear and socks, that's easy to remedy.  This is not a SAHM issue.



Quoting Anonymous:

I work full time and am still home before the kids get off the bus.  It's about making sacrifices.  If you feel your child cannot be left unattended, make it work around your schedules.  What it's about is providing for your family.  When you can't afford to provide your child underwear and socks or clothes that fit because you're too lazy to try and find a job and would rather be a SAHM then there are issues. 

I don't expect my husband to be a sole provider for our family because it isn't fair to him.  Why should I be the one spending all my days at home raising the kids when he wants to be home with his kids just as badly?   



Pero2
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Example: DD will be starting with her GCSEs (tests at the end of secondary school) in 1.5 years ... subject choices have to be made from next year onwards. They are currently trying to prepare the girls by subjecting them to a very hard test week.

DD is pretty much an A-student ... but she struggles with finding the ideal studying method for her. Her dad and I tried numerous approaches ... we think we are on to something now. But that method (suggested by her teacher) involves DD teaching us (usually the one who has the least clue about the topic) so we can understand. In doing so, she needs to understand first.

In order for her to teach us, we need to obviously be home (and not at work). Can I afford to be a SAHM? Nope! But I am now spending my annual leave on taking 1-2 afternoons per week off ... so I can be available.

Bethsunshine
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:34 AM
4 moms liked this
Sounds like someone is bitter.
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:42 AM
5 moms liked this

As the mother of an almost 18 year old, I can tell you that some of the most important parenting I have done this far has been from 13 to now. I am blessed betond belief that I have been able to be there for her. Hasnt always been easy financially. We cut back alot of extras to make it happen. Just 4 months ago my laptop took a shit.I finally got a used one yesterday for a hundred bucks. I come last financially but my daughter comes first until she is off on her own.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:46 AM

AND THATS WHY *I* GET THE MOTHERS DAY RECOGNITION!!!!!!!!!!

Birdseed
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting baparrot2:

AND THATS WHY *I* GET THE MOTHERS DAY RECOGNITION!!!!!!!!!!


No you get mother's day recognition because you don't expect your kid to share undies, demand certified letters for changes of visitation and aren't just a "babymomma".

Duh.

Pero2
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Haha ... I'm just visualising Parrot slamming her DD's undie drawer shut ... caught red-handed! Put them back, darling!


Quoting Birdseed:



Quoting baparrot2:

AND THATS WHY *I* GET THE MOTHERS DAY RECOGNITION!!!!!!!!!!


No you get mother's day recognition because you don't expect your kid to share undies, demand certified letters for changes of visitation and aren't just a "babymomma".

Duh.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 13, 2013 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I know right. I haven't worked in 11 years and now that all four of my kids are in school I want to get a part time job but I can't. Hell I can't even get a job at Burger King because I don't have enough experience with a register. LOL

Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

....because it is so easy to get a job after being out if the workforce for 13 years....


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