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Still buying BM gifts for the grown kids

Posted by on May. 11, 2013 at 11:09 AM
  • 20 Replies
1 mom liked this

I've posted before about how DH babies his kids more than I do mine. He's getting on my nerves worrying about them getting BM something for Mother's Day. They are 18 and 23yo boys and only the youngest even comes to our house  EOW. He's reminded him twice now and given him money for the gift. I know he doesn't have feelings for her or anything, just the opposite. It's more making sure nobody gets her fired up.  I don't know why he has to keep telling me too, like I'm worried about it. If he tells me one more time about her Mother's Day I'm going to say something smart, I can feel it! Wonder how many more years we are going to buy her a Mother's Day and Christmas gift from these guys? Come to think of it, we've probably been buying her a birthday gift too, DH just never mentioned it!

by on May. 11, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:10 AM

Does she have a significant other?

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Does she do the sane for him?

IMHO, it is appropriate for a man to buy the mother of his children Mother's Day gift.
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 11, 2013 at 11:14 AM
1 mom liked this

He needs to quit doing that.  If your DH wants to honor the mother of his children, he should do it himself.  If he doesn't feel like honoring her, then he should remind their kids.  Once he's done saying anything, he should let it go.  It's up to them to figure it out...let BM bitch at her kid for forgetting her if she's into Mother's Day.  My mom used to do it, so now I damn well remember and if I forget I alway call after and apologize...then she laughs at me! LOL

Bertieb
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:18 AM

No.

Bertieb
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:30 AM

Yep, my son forgot 2 years ago and I sent him a firm email that all I wanted was at least a phone call or card. I also told him it wasn't just for me, but any women that come into his life, he needs to acknowledge on days when every other woman is getting acknowledged if he wants to be happy, lol! He hasn't forgotten since. As a matter of fact, yesterday he called to say a card was on the way and if I didn't get it Saturday I would Monday! Obviously, my ex didn't bother to remind my kids, nor has he ever sent them money to get me anything.


Quoting sandeeyo:

He needs to quit doing that.  If your DH wants to honor the mother of his children, he should do it himself.  If he doesn't feel like honoring her, then he should remind their kids.  Once he's done saying anything, he should let it go.  It's up to them to figure it out...let BM bitch at her kid for forgetting her if she's into Mother's Day.  My mom used to do it, so now I damn well remember and if I forget I alway call after and apologize...then she laughs at me! LOL



sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 11, 2013 at 11:36 AM

I don't know.  I think it is appropriate.  Because he is honoring the mother of his children.  Makes sense to me.  But to each his own, right?


Quoting HopesNDreams:

Does she do the sane for him?

IMHO, it is appropriate for a man to buy the mother of his children Mother's Day gift.



chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:50 AM
I cannot imagine DF buying BM anything but that's the type of situation we are in. I DID help her 2 younger ones (both 9) make her something last weekend.

My dd8 just mentioned buying her dad something for Father's Day. She wants to buy him an ipod. LMAO. I will help her make him something with a few pics of our kids. Since he didn't buy them a damn thing for Christmas or their birthdays....I would love to forget about his Father's Day.
Bertieb
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:52 AM

My ex has never done it for my kids or me, so I guess his bad manners rubbed off on me. I guess that is why I don't want my DH keeping me in the loop about doing it for her! I just had a therapy session, thanks ladies!!

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 6:02 PM
2 moms liked this

 I agree with this... for young children and in situations where there is nobody else that could be taking the kiddos to buy stuff for their Mom. I completely agree that the OP should be the bigger person, there.

However, these are ADULT children. 18 and 23... plenty old enough to buy gifts, cards, and remember a few days a year that might be important....

Quoting HopesNDreams:

Does she do the sane for him?

IMHO, it is appropriate for a man to buy the mother of his children Mother's Day gift.

 

jlg12678
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 6:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Um, no. We are talking grown ass adults here...not young ones who can't get her something on their own. 

I would have no issue with helping minor kids get their mom something given there is no spouse or significant other who will be doing it...grown adults? Hell no. 

Don't either of them have a job?!

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