Basically I have been married for 3years together for 4 years. I have a ds2 and a sd4. My dh share 50/50 with bm mom. Lately i have been feeling over whelmed and finding myself upset more often. My dh is a wonderful husband and father. Our life consist of work and kids 24/7.
So a little back ground My dh works full-time graveyard shift. I work every weekend part-time. I am the primary caregiver in my house including to my sd. My dh and bm have EVERYTHING seperately for sd and thats including drs, dentist, birthdays, holidays. So basically bm and sf is sd primary parents at they home and dh and myself is primary parents in our home. Its never been a time where bm and dh every worked together except being forced in court. So Mon-fri Im dealing with the kids all day except 6 hours out the day while they are at school. Im the one cooking, cleaning, doing homework, bathing, doing hair, getting school clothes together, giving medicine etc. schduleing doctor/dentist appts even taking them my dh do come with me though.
lately I have been feeling like leaving my sd out on alot of things so I do not have to watch her and do things for her to give my self some slack. when my ds is alone with me he is fine calm and less active. when my sd is alone she is fine and more calm and less active but them two together drives me nuts half the time. As long as my dh is with us its alot eaiser for me but when he is not its when I feel very over whelmed and I always feel like telling my dh to keep sd at home with him and me and my ds will be back later. I know that is not right and my sd wouldnt like that because she loves to be with me and be around me, but I do get tired. Like this afternoon we had plans to take the kids to my nephew(my baby) little birthday party at chuck e cheese and my dh was coming with us to help with our 2 wild kids. My dh is now currently sick and he cannot come any more and I cannot change my mind and not go to the party because for 1 my kids are aware of the party and have asked about every hour is it 5:00 yet. I also cant miss the party because my nephew is like my baby I cant miss anything of his things. My nephew mother and I are twins and its like her kids is my kids and my kids are her kids type thing its a twin thing. Soon as I was aware that my dh was sick i still got a little mad inside because once again im stuck taking both kids out alone and have to chase them around chuck e cheese for 2 hours and to top it off its mothers day weekend. I feel upset and very over whelmed again!!.....I actually was about to text my dh last night while he was a work and asked him if he can keep his dd at home with him or ask his mom if she can keep her while i take my ds to the party because I'm very tired and over whelmed but i cant miss the party. I earsed it and thought about it sounds so bad to say that to him. So looks like I will be there chashing two toodlers around on the weekend I was suppose to relax.
The only true break I get is when I am a work and when my sd is with her mom but it seems like the days go by so fast when she is not with us and she comes right back.
I understand my dh works a very hard shift 12am-8am and be extremely tired when he gets off work and he also have a sleeping problem where sometimes he cant go to sleep, it would take hours for him to actually fall asleep after work. Dont get me wrong if i want to do something, have time to myself or get a break he would keep them with no problem tired and all but the whole time I am away im worried if he have fell asleep on them and a few times that have happened.
I need some advice on what I can do to not feel so over whelmed and soon as I do feel that way my 1st thought is feeling like dumping sd off. My dh and I do not have alot of support we only have each other and we have my mom which helps out every weekend by picking the kids up every saturday and sunday at 6am and keeping them until 9am when dh picks them up after he gets off work. My MIL doesnt really help out much berely she will the kids have to be screaming crying to stay with her for her to say that they can stay over her house.