Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Pat yourself on the back time!

Posted by on May. 11, 2013 at 10:33 PM
  • 8 Replies
1 mom liked this
Let's share some things that we personally do as SMs to help make the situation better...better for the SKids, better for your SO, better for BM - maybe things that no one knows you do, to make the whole situation smoother.

Go ahead it's a tough role to play, you deserve it, pat yourself on the back and maybe at the same time you'll be giving the rest of us some great advice.

Here's one of mine: If SS4 ever says mean stuff about mommy, I always stick up for her, I tell him that's not nice, he shouldn't say things like that to her or about her and that I don't think he really means it. She loves him no matter what, etc etc..i support their relationship as much as possible...she has no idea I do this. She hates my existence and I have very few positive feelings towards her but I do my part to make sure little guy does not get caught in the middle of stupid adult warfare lol.
by on May. 11, 2013 at 10:33 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 11, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Good for you! That's a nice gesture. And it will pay off in the end. Not for her but for the little guy.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MommySabs
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 10:40 PM
1 mom liked this
I am not ashamed of being sm. I don't try to be bm or take her place or overstep. I let bm and dh parent their child the way they see fit.
I love my dss and we have a good relationship bc I don't create an environment where I try to compete with bm or put her on edge or feel defensive.
pdxmum
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I balance DH when he wants to react in anger to BM.  I help him see the more strategic response.  We do that for each other.  He is able to see BF less emotionally and vice versa.

I feed SSs well.


HighRoadToPnH
by Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:03 PM
You should be proud that you can do that, I'm sure everyone benefits.

(That sounds like sarcasm but it isn't!)


Quoting MommySabs:

I am not ashamed of being sm. I don't try to be bm or take her place or overstep. I let bm and dh parent their child the way they see fit.

I love my dss and we have a good relationship bc I don't create an environment where I try to compete with bm or put her on edge or feel defensive.

HighRoadToPnH
by Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 3:27 PM
More, more, more!
: )
bottomline
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 3:30 PM

 I always encouraged the boys to have a relationship with their bm. Even after she stole from them. I believe that because she was their mother they needed to have some kind of dealings with her. I would always stop them from bashing her, no matter how bloody my tongue got from biting it! lol 

pokey-pwa
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 3:56 PM

When the kids talk about how they can get what they want from BM by just crying or throwing a fit, I remind them that isnt a polite way to communicate with anyone. I tell them that they need to respect their mother when she says no or tells them that she cant get something for them at that time.  That adults sometimes have reasons for things that they dont share with the children so, they need to be mindful of the fact that their mother has a reason for not bowing to their every wish.

I also help DH think before he responds to BM.  Sometimes she can really get under his skin and he wants to jump right back at her.  I try to see things from BMs point of view and explain her off the wall email.

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 4:35 PM
High five to all the SMs doing good deeds!!!!
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured