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I've never felt left out on Mother's Day before...

Posted by on May. 12, 2013 at 10:44 AM
  • 7 Replies
1 mom liked this

I'm a 42 year old woman with no children. I always assumed I would have kids but a series of situations/life choices have made that a non-option at this point. I feel like I am still in the process of mourning that I will never have children but most days it doesn't even cross my mind. I live with my boyfriend and his 6 year old daughter (he has 50/50 custody). This is the first Mother's Day since I moved in with them.

I've always enjoyed celebrating Mother's Day with my mom. We are very close and it's always been her day. Unfortunately I'm not able to be with her today but we talked on the phone and she knows I'm thinking of her. The day it'self has never bothered me. Until this year.... WOW!!

I woke up this morning feeling unbelievably empty and sad. I think I'm jealous of the fact that I will never have a "mother's bond" with anyone. Maybe it's because I'm starting to feel close to BFs daughter? Maybe it's because I'm sad that BF and I will never have a child of our own and that I'm jealous that he had this beautiful child with another woman (who I happen to like, by the way).

I can't seem to get over this unbearable sense of emptiness today. 

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms and StepMoms. You deserve a day of celebration for all you do!

by on May. 12, 2013 at 10:44 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Gazelda
by on May. 12, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm 52 and was in your exact situation years ago. It gets easier. One thing I learned - make sure your boyfriend expresses his thanks to you today, Mother's Day, for being kind, accepting, and generous towards his child. In step-situations the couple needs to keep a close bond - especially on days like this! I used to be sad that I felt like I did sort of mother but didn't get recognized. Once I learned that it shouldn't come from his kids but from him I have felt much more clear emotionally.

We are all mothers. I still want to redefine this day. Someday. XOXO

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 12, 2013 at 1:01 PM
2 moms liked this
Are you sure you cant be a mother? There are options, even at your age. Including foster to adopt.
amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 12, 2013 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

hugs  You deserve a great day too!

shanlee42
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2013 at 9:56 AM
It's definitely difficult but it does get easier. I was a childless stepmom for years. Make sure your SO shows his appreciation!
AmericanDream
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:15 AM

**HUGS**  Hope you are feeling a bit better, today.


keri5374
by Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:40 PM
2 moms liked this
Feeling way better, all. My BFs mom got me a plant on Mother's Day. I guess to say thank you for recognize my role in her grand child's life. Not mother, not step mother, but care giver. I was unbelieveably touched.
Humility1
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Hi yea I felt totally out of place when it came to Mother's Day also. I have no children of my own and my mother in law did not even give me anything for helping her raise her grandson, which is fine because I didn't expect anything knowing the fact that I am not a birth mother, it really does help when ripple say thank you for helping raise their grandson though:) I am happy that she did that for you!! My husband wrote me a card and I felt good about it, because its the fact that he did something for me to say thank you for helping him raise his son:) god bless hope u feel better:)
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