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DH and my new job!!! (just can't figure DH out)

Posted by on May. 15, 2013 at 10:04 PM
  • 12 Replies

I started my new job this week and DH is already upset about my hours.  I going to be working Full-Time and my days off are Tuesday and Wednesdays at Massage Envy as a Massage Therapist and Esthetician.  This means I work on the weekends while his kids (2) and mine (2) except when they are gone most of the summer visiting family out of state and attending camp and VBS will be at the house with just him.  He has depended on me before to entertain the kids while he worked on his car and other projects on the weekends.  I was never a mom to his kids, I just fed, bathed the toddler, and hung out with his daughter.  The money is going to double our income so I know when the paychecks start coming in that will make him happy again.  The schedule allows me to have my kids taken care of and he doesn't have to do anything with them by himself, yet he is upset that I didn't arrange my schedule to take care of his kids.  UM they are not mine, are only here EOWE and it is only for 8 hours that I am at work.  I guess I just don't get his thinking.

by on May. 15, 2013 at 10:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sarawags
by on May. 15, 2013 at 11:12 PM

Maybe he appreciates the influence you have on them?

lol, I have no idea - sorry - cant even figure my own DH out - ;) 

DDDaysh
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:47 AM

 Well, I could see being frustrated because you guys won't have days off together.. 

But if he isn't babysitting for you, he needs to learn to parent his own kids. 

bottomline
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2013 at 11:16 AM

 It's change, men hate change. I don't care what they say, they don't know how to juggle anything so throw something new into the mix and, BLAH!!! Let the whinning begin. lol

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Did you guys discuss that schedule before you accepted?  

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2013 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this

I got this from your post.  Men hate change... and they are not really good a adapting to it. Poor things.  Every semester my DH near panic attacks because it is inevitable that he'll have to change the way he does things at least part of the time.  But... after a week or so... he's great.  He's a great dad-- just sort of ADHD and craves structure. LOL.

Quoting bottomline:

 It's change, men hate change. I don't care what they say, they don't know how to juggle anything so throw something new into the mix and, BLAH!!! Let the whinning begin. lol


amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 16, 2013 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Congrats on your new job!  Sounds to me like your DH is going to have to learn to spend some time with the kids and not being so selfish on the weekends.

weaveress
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2013 at 5:05 PM

good luck understanding him. i got a sunday job because dh works m-f first shift and goes to night classes. he wanted me to get a job. so i got a job and he gripes about it constantly. been there since october its may. still griping. 

GlockMom
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2013 at 8:14 PM

He is gonna miss his babysitter is what is wrong with him.

krazykiddles
by on May. 16, 2013 at 11:49 PM
I told him that when you work in this field weekends and evenings are mandatory. We are in demand when people get out of work and on their days off. He said that was understandable. Men do hate change, but he likes the paycheck.
Budterfly
by on May. 17, 2013 at 6:56 AM

This is a tough one. It sounds to me that he would like to have both the income and the childcare, but alas there is only one of you. It is too bad that your "working at work", is interfering with your "working at home", so now he does not get to enjoy his hobbies.

That being said, the last thing that would be good for this situation is for both sides to dig in their heals and really start to feel resentful. He could resent you- thinking that you are running away to work, while he has to work at home, AND you could start to resent him because it is perceived that you are not doing enough when you are already doing all that you can do.

Sooooo.... maybe do you think that you can explain it is important to have the money for XYZ reasons, and that also it miight be good for you to be out of the  house. Also explain that there is something (i know it may not feel fair) but maybe can you offer him something to make up for what he feels he is missing? Maybe offer that  you will find a neighborhood babysitter, and every once in a while, you can hire him/her to come over for 4 hours so that your DH can have his hobby time.

And I really do sympathize with you. It is a tough spot.

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