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What If you got no CS and had to do it all?

Posted by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:06 PM
  • 207 Replies
7 moms liked this

   With all these posts about the first child being entitled to the same amount of support BF should never have more kids never have his support lowered etc. And especially to you BM's that think the NCP should provide all the support what would you do if you never received a dime in support? My mom received $500 total support from my Bf in 18 years. She worked for the state, filed with the A.G. etc. My sperm donor is a musician he worked under the table no way to go after him. So what would you ladies do then? Seriously the sense of entitlement that you feel and want to claim it is the SM's. I call BS. How about you suck it up and do your part to support your own kids and be happy that your getting any CS because lots of women don't. This post is not saying that children are not entitled to child support that is not my point at all. My point is why is that the first family and the first children are more important than later children. Why is it taking from a child if a man lists his new/child/ren as dependants? If it was the dad who had custody and the BM was trying to get her support lowered because she had more kids their would not be the outrage here. It is a double standard. All children should be entitled to the same amount of support and both parents should have to contribute to that support. That was the point of this post. And for those of you slamming my dh . He could have his ex sell the house,land, cars, horses, etc and split it 50/50 no he gave it all to her in the divorce with it paid off. The land even had a well the only bills she had to pay was her car insurance, lights, and gas bill. He paid the kids insurance. Oh and she had to pay the property taxes but with working and getting 2k a month for 2 kids and 1300 a month for one child that should be plenty. Plenty of women would have loved to walk away with what she got. But if you ask her shes entitled to more and my dh is a lousy piece of crap.

by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:10 PM

I think it's sad that women especially need to be prepared to deal 100% with all costs, but I think it's something to keep in mind and plan for.

In this day and age with divorce, I can't imagine having a child and not being willing to provide 100%.  I know that my DH is the type that would do whatever needed to be done to provide for his kids, but I STILL wouldn't have kids with him if I didn't think I could do it on my own if need be.


baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:10 PM

oh no........

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM
9 moms liked this

I wouldn't have had children if I couldn't provide them on my own, I need to have control over my life.

KnowItAll
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:13 PM
1 mom liked this

I think your thinking is a bit off. 

Are you saying that BM's should just take what they can get and be happy about it, even if it's less than he pays to someone else?  So if I'm BM2, and I get $100 for my 3 kids, even though BM1 is getting $600 for her one and only, I'm supposed to be grateful? 


And just one more thought....

If BD goes on to have more kids with SM, he is allowed to lower his payments to BM, thus taking money right out of her pocket.  HOWEVER, if BM remarried and goes on to have more kids with her new husband, BM cannot ask BD to pay her more in CS, thus taking more money out of his pocket because "those kids aren't his responsibility."   But somehow, BD's new kids end up costing BM1. 

Happily Married | BM to DD13  DD13  DD12 | Mom to DS7 & DS4 | CP | Not a SM

jlg12678
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:14 PM
10 moms liked this

My ex and I have one child together...placement is 50/50.

I have never, nor will I ever request child support. I work full time as I should to support our child while in my home.

I can't fathom having to depend on anyone to take care of me or my child and basic needs.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:14 PM

Same here.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I wouldn't have had children if I couldn't provide them on my own, I need to have control over my life.


 

LoveMy2x4
by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:15 PM

You sound mad that mothers actually get CS for their kids....

Children ARE entitled to CS. They deserve the very best from BOTH parents. Its sad when a parent disappears emotionally and financially, but that doesnt mean the kids dont deserve it. 

Good for your mom for doing it on her own. She seems like a strong woman. But dont you think her life would have been a little less stressful if she had gotten the help that she and her children were entitled to?

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on May. 16, 2013 at 2:17 PM
2 moms liked this

I do work full time in my chosen career field.  I have supported the children 100% on my own - doing so doesn't make me a saint, a martyr, better than someone else who receives CS in full on time - it makes me a parent.  

I do not expect ex to provide ALL the support - but some and you bet your sweet ass I will use all the legal recourse available to me to ensure that the other person RESPONSIBLE for creating teh children is RESPONSIBLE for their up keep as well.  The CS that is CO'd currently is a PORTION of the costs associated with housing, feeding, maintaining (clothing, socializing) 3 small, active, growing children.  If ex didn't like the idea fo CS, well, I can't say he should have stayed - that was not an option as he is a violent, drug addicted psychopath.   YOu cannot go back and undo what has been done - and if your DH would "undo" any of his kids - well he's a real POS.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2013 at 2:19 PM

DH and I do do it all alone with no financial support from BM. He paid CS each and every month when she had custody, she hasn't put a dime towards SD's care in the 10 months DH has had custody and hasn't paid a dime in CS that's been ordered for the last few months. 

DDDaysh
by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:20 PM
3 moms liked this

 I DO do it all...  I'm not currently receiving support and the father is currently over $20k behind. 

That doesn't mean I don't think he SHOULD be required to support the child and that he should do so decently and stop breeding until he actually does support the kids he already has.  (He's up to AT LEAST 3 with 3 BMs...  there are likely more that he just hasn't acknowledged.)

I support my son by sacrificing things myself because, well, my son didn't choose his father and I did.  I didn't pick a winner.  That's why when all these new girls in here are talking about wanting babies with Dads who don't really parent their current kids, I warn them to NOT get knocked up.   

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