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New here :) stepson moving in.

Posted by on May. 18, 2013 at 6:26 PM
  • 7 Replies
Background on us :) we have 5 boys together. My oldest (13), ss1 (13), ss2 (12), our ds1 (5) and ds2 (1). DH and I have been together for 11 years and married for 9.

DH has every other weekend, every other holiday, 6 weeks in the summer. He provides all transportation (we live 2.5 hours away), covers insurance. The boys usually ask to spend any extra school breaks with us.

We have a pretty easy relationship with BM, a few bumps over the years :)

Ss1 wants to move in with us, which is fine with us and mom says ok. DH and BM are planning no formal paperwork on this. DH is not going to change CS at all mainly due to the fact that his CS was set many years ago and has never been reassessed. We did a calculator and would pay around the same, so that's stayin put.

My worry is that I think they should at least have something noterized (sp?) stating that both parties agree to xyz. That way she can't come back and say we kept him without her permission.

I know he is 13(will be 14 in July) and he could state his wants to a judge but nobody wants to go that way.

Have any of you been through similar and how did you handle it? Thanks
by on May. 18, 2013 at 6:26 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Leigh84
by Gold Member on May. 18, 2013 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this
When my SS's came to live w/us BM said he could have them but he was responsible for going to court house and filing the paper work. So he did and they had the co drawn up in mediation then signed off on by a judge. It was pretty easy and if your DH and BM want to leave cs the same they can do that too. It would be best if he got a co saying he has custody or at least that SS primary address is w/your DH.
hriabywx4
by Member on May. 18, 2013 at 8:35 PM
See I think so too! Just to cover everyone! I can't get over the feeling that it will bite us in the butt if we don't :( I'll keep working on it


Quoting Leigh84:

When my SS's came to live w/us BM said he could have them but he was responsible for going to court house and filing the paper work. So he did and they had the co drawn up in mediation then signed off on by a judge. It was pretty easy and if your DH and BM want to leave cs the same they can do that too. It would be best if he got a co saying he has custody or at least that SS primary address is w/your DH.

amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 19, 2013 at 3:15 PM

I agree, I'd at least have papers signed & notarized (you can do that at the bank), stating the new agreements regarding SS's living arrangements and that there are no changes to the CS order.

opal10161973
by on May. 19, 2013 at 3:42 PM

I have three kids and the ONE thing I have learned in all my years (oldest is 19 now), is you ALWAYS get it in writing!  IDC if it is just an extended summer vacation or what. 

My Mom and Step Dad moved down here and the way the CO with his EX was worded, it automatically switched to 2 full months in the summer, because of the distance.  Well, wouldn't you know that his Ex went to court and got a CO to pick up my Step sister after a month because she told them he wasn't giving her back after the 1 month was up.  She never told the court that he had moved so far away.  He had to drag her back to court and the judge told her if she ever tried a stunt like that again, he would throw her in jail for contempt.  My step Dad thought she was on board with the change, but she surprised him.  It backfired on her, but you never know when something like that will go your way or not.  Having it on paper was the only thing that backed up my step Dad's case.  If he didn't have it, she could have had him arrested for parental kidnapping.  IDC how nice people seem, you just never really know their motives. 

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2013 at 3:45 PM
DH and both BM1 and BM2 did this. It worked out pretty well for DH. He got to be CP without having to go through a traumatic court battle.
packermomof2
by on May. 19, 2013 at 8:29 PM

I think if the parents get along and dad trusts her you shouldn't worry about anything.  This is between them and not all parents need something in writing to parent their kids together and effectvely.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on May. 19, 2013 at 8:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Put it in writing, if both parents are being honest and are truly on good grounds there should be no problem putting it in writing.

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