Coleen Nolan advice - I really don't like his children: Should we break up?
I met a great man 18 months ago. I’m 35 and things are great except for one thing – I really don’t like his children.
He divorced just before we met and has a son and daughter, aged 10 and 13.
They clearly hate me and are rude and surly when we’re all together.
The daughter made a rude comment about my weight and her brother laughed.
His son has awful manners and they have no respect for their dad.
I tried to speak to him about it but he got very defensive and told me his kids will always come first and they’re just going through a difficult time.
Is this too big an issue to ignore? Should I break up with him over it?
Bringing a step-family together is incredibly hard and I know because I’ve been there.
Everybody is trying to figure out how to make it work and where they fit in – kids especially. However, they still need ground rules.
They’ll rebel against them and hate you for it, but eventually that hate will turn into respect if you’re consistent, kind and fair.
So make a point of picking them up on manners and rudeness.
Of course, their dad will get defensive when you criticise them – a lot of that is probably due to guilt. But you must make him realise that you deserve respect and the relationship will only last if things change.
Never argue with him about this in front of the kids – they’ll pick up on it and play you off against each other.
Lastly, try to remember that they’re only children trying to deal with their parents’ divorce at a difficult age.
Eventually, they’ll end up with two great homes and a good relationship with everybody.
It’ll just take time and patience on your part.
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