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someone understood

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 8:35 AM
  • 12 Replies
2 moms liked this
My in laws were over yesterday for a bbq. My FIL asked me what sd was doing this summer. I said she will be at her moms 2wks on and 2wks off. I Honestly think it's the best plan ever. My FIL asked how bm felt about it. I told him she first said it's ok because it's for school but she wants her everyday that she doesn't have school. Then when she found out when sd started school again she wanted to send sd home a week early. I told him I love that kid and I'd do anything for her but you can't go around treating my dh and I like we are some kind of boarding school. Then before summer starts demand that she comes back a week early. He totally understood what I was saying. I told him about sds clothes and how I was sick of sending her down there with bags full of clothes getting her back at 9 and finding out not one thing is clean. I told him how bm said send down clothes sd can keep there and that dh and I are currently arguing of that idea because I don't think it's fair for us to buy clothes that bm keeps. My FIL told me he understands where I'm coming from that I just want everything to be fair. He said sadly with that lady things won't ever be fair she will always find wats to use that child to tug on dh and u. He said just understand that we know what you do and we will always be here to help you.
by on May. 19, 2013 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on May. 19, 2013 at 8:46 AM
I used to send clothes with SS that I knew he would outgrow by the end of summer so I didn't have to worry about them coming back.
ramita
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Glad your finding someone who appreciates you in your extended family. I agree with sassymom if there is anything you figure she'll outgrow by the end of summer or soon after send it.Oh and you don't have to send a lot of stuff either, her BM can wash clothes I'm assuming. If you do end up sending clothes check out local thrift stores and garage sells.
mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 10:51 AM
I'm not so sure she can because when sd went down for spring break she came back a 9 with a bag full of dirty clothes. Luckly I had an outfit here for her to wear to the next day.


Quoting ramita:

Glad your finding someone who appreciates you in your extended family. I agree with sassymom if there is anything you figure she'll outgrow by the end of summer or soon after send it.Oh and you don't have to send a lot of stuff either, her BM can wash clothes I'm assuming. If you do end up sending clothes check out local thrift stores and garage sells.

ramita
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM
Well then I guess she's gonna have to learn or find someone to do them because I don't even keep enough clothes to send my kids with 2 weeks worth of clothes. They probably have about 5 bottoms and then can mix and match tops. Until they stop growing I have no plans of keeping more than that. In fact my SS only has two pair of what I call good shorts. Although he has several pairs of play shorts.

In other words to keep peace send enough for a few days to a week then she can either wash them, get them washed, or if she's old enough you could teach SD to wash her own clothes.


Quoting mamaBerg85:

I'm not so sure she can because when sd went down for spring break she came back a 9 with a bag full of dirty clothes. Luckly I had an outfit here for her to wear to the next day.




Quoting ramita:

Glad your finding someone who appreciates you in your extended family. I agree with sassymom if there is anything you figure she'll outgrow by the end of summer or soon after send it.Oh and you don't have to send a lot of stuff either, her BM can wash clothes I'm assuming. If you do end up sending clothes check out local thrift stores and garage sells.


PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 1:19 PM
Can't you just tell BM she needs to send the clothes back? Who cares if they are dirty, at least you will have them back. You shouldn't have to provide her with SDs clothes only for her house.
mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 2:34 PM
I wouldn't care if we got sd back at a reasonable time. I care because I wash all these clothes and get nothing but dirty clothes back. U know growing up people are taught when you borrow somEthing to return it in the same condition as u borrowed it. Bm is borrowing sds clothes from our house sure they are sds but I still think it's reasonable to show respect by at least washing things.


Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

Can't you just tell BM she needs to send the clothes back? Who cares if they are dirty, at least you will have them back. You shouldn't have to provide her with SDs clothes only for her house.

tazlover01
by Member on May. 19, 2013 at 11:50 PM

We had a different problem with BM. We would send them in nice clothes and they would come back in crap that should have been in the garbage. When we sent them back in the same clothes she complained that the clothes were coming back in worse condition than when she sent them. It's sad when you 8 yo knows your lying. He told he knows we send the clothes back the same way they were sent. It's crazy but you tend to have one parent that acts like a nut and you just have to bite the bullet. Find her some nice gently used clothing and send about 5 outfits. It's up to her mom to provide for her also. 

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 7:13 AM
I send only 3 last yr and bm said send more because she out grew her pants and now only has two pairs. Dh told her we couldn't afford anymore pairs.


Quoting tazlover01:

We had a different problem with BM. We would send them in nice clothes and they would come back in crap that should have been in the garbage. When we sent them back in the same clothes she complained that the clothes were coming back in worse condition than when she sent them. It's sad when you 8 yo knows your lying. He told he knows we send the clothes back the same way they were sent. It's crazy but you tend to have one parent that acts like a nut and you just have to bite the bullet. Find her some nice gently used clothing and send about 5 outfits. It's up to her mom to provide for her also. 


mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 10:23 PM
Ok what's done is done. I text bm that I was sending a few things. She gave me her whole could you send her summer clothes shoes and a suit and any camping gear that can stay at her house. I told her money is tight so I will send what I can but bm will have to buy more clothes if she wants some that stay there. She tried her little guilt trip and all I said was we will do our best but if she needs anything else you'll just have to take her on a trip to goodwill. She said ok and the bag is being packed right now. She lied to me too told me she sent everything back with sd after looking through that bag I can tell you now 1/2 of the stuff I sent is missing and 3 things came back clean. That's the next thing although I'm not sure how to nicely tell someone to wash there damn kids clothes. I mean really dh and I pay for EVERYTHING the least you can do is a load of wash for your kid.
Chickenhawk13
by on May. 21, 2013 at 1:25 AM
I agree with whoever said buy some clothes from goodwill. I find thrift stores have great stuff. I would never buy underwear but jeans are so expensive even people who can afford new still buy jeans from 2nd hand shops.

I've never spent more than 150 bucks at a huge, local thrift shop & come out with a brand new wardrobe. Shoot, I look like a million bucks & I'm about 20 bucks an outfit & I hit the most expensive racks without a daily discount color. The only one in my family I buy new jeans for is my youngest who has to have his from the tall man shop so I understand when you send your kid with clothes & they come back with rags.

The lazy heifer could wash her own child's clothes at least. I would be embarrassed sending back dirty clothes.
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