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Biological Daughter vs bio mom

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:35 PM
  • 31 Replies
need some advice if I have legitimate concerns or am I over reacting? My biological daughter is getting married in July. At her dress fitting she asked how I would feel if she wore her Step moms wedding dress for the reception because it would be more comfortable. now mind you my BD step mom is the girl my ex cheated on me with that destroyed our marriage and family 4 yrs ago. my BD does not really like the SM but thinks its ok to use her dress because she doesn't have to buy another. My Bd saud if i did have an issue with it then she would understand. explained to my BD that it would hurt me if she did wear that dress ESP with all that happened with her SM. My BD thinks I'm acting rediculous and now I have her Dad snapping at me and telling me if she wants to wear SM dress I should let her or buy her another one. I did offer to buy BD another dress under my better judgement because the dress she has is beautiful and I just don't understand why these kids think they need to wear more then one dress especially when the parents are paying for most if the wedding. Am I right to feel this way or am I over reacting?
by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ramita
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:07 AM
I think you are in the right on this. She asked your opinion so you gave it, you even offered another solution. I wouldn't want to wear anybody else's wedding dress unless it had sentimental value even if it was for the reception so I can't understand why your BD would even want unless they were really close or something.
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 20, 2013 at 12:07 AM
2 moms liked this

She wants to wear a SECOND wedding dress to the reception????

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you are right on this. Specific circumstances makes me feel that way. An affair 30 years ago? Eh get over it. 4 years ago? Still a bit fresh.
She doesn't care for her SM anyway but you are being ridiculous about the dress? That's just ridiculous in itself.
I personally would buy a new dress if it were me. I would also slap her for wanting a second dress to begin with. If she didn't want your opinion or your blessing, then why did she even ask you about your feelings?

This may be something that you have to just let go of because she may opt to just wear the dress regardless of your feelings. But since she asked, I'm not sure why she thinks your feelings are ridiculous. If she didn't care or if she wasn't concerned that you may have feelings about it, she wouldn't have asked in the first place.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:16 AM
3 moms liked this
This is the new thing. I don't get it. You spend $1000 or more (usually more) on the dress to begin with and then you take it off after 20 minutes and wear something else?? That's just dumb. I didn't want to take my dress off. I wore it for 10hours and then sat in it for another hour looking at the beading lol. Poor dh. He was like WTF Take it OFF!!


Quoting sandeeyo:

She wants to wear a SECOND wedding dress to the reception????


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on May. 20, 2013 at 12:21 AM

I can understand having a reception dress...you know the going away outfit?  But a second wedding dress is just fucking perposterous!  ILOVED my dress! I didn't change until we got to the hotel room and then I kept going back to the closet to look at it! Lol

Quoting momof2ex1:

This is the new thing. I don't get it. You spend $1000 or more (usually more) on the dress to begin with and then you take it off after 20 minutes and wear something else?? That's just dumb. I didn't want to take my dress off. I wore it for 10hours and then sat in it for another hour looking at the beading lol. Poor dh. He was like WTF Take it OFF!!


Quoting sandeeyo:

She wants to wear a SECOND wedding dress to the reception????




momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM
I wanted to walk around town in my dress! I couldn't stop looking at mine either. I had opted for the store to hang on to it until the week of the wedding, and when I picked it up and had my last fitting, it went home with my mom. So I did not really get to see it until the day of the wedding. Our reception was in the hotel that we stayed at so I didn't have a going away outfit but I know many that do that. But I know a lot of these young ladies are having two wedding dresses. They can't decide so they pick two. One for the ceremony and one for the reception.


Quoting sandeeyo:

I can understand having a reception dress...you know the going away outfit?  But a second wedding dress is just fucking perposterous!  ILOVED my dress! I didn't change until we got to the hotel room and then I kept going back to the closet to look at it! Lol


Quoting momof2ex1:

This is the new thing. I don't get it. You spend $1000 or more (usually more) on the dress to begin with and then you take it off after 20 minutes and wear something else?? That's just dumb. I didn't want to take my dress off. I wore it for 10hours and then sat in it for another hour looking at the beading lol. Poor dh. He was like WTF Take it OFF!!





Quoting sandeeyo:

She wants to wear a SECOND wedding dress to the reception????







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:55 AM


I spilled coffee on my one and only real wedding dress, dropped it at the cleaners but was too damned broke to pay to pick it up.  So my $1200 (in 1986 dollars) is gone.  I am actually grateful not to still have it.

Is this the same dress SM wore to her wedding to DH?

Quoting momof2ex1:

I wanted to walk around town in my dress! I couldn't stop looking at mine either. I had opted for the store to hang on to it until the week of the wedding, and when I picked it up and had my last fitting, it went home with my mom. So I did not really get to see it until the day of the wedding. Our reception was in the hotel that we stayed at so I didn't have a going away outfit but I know many that do that. But I know a lot of these young ladies are having two wedding dresses. They can't decide so they pick two. One for the ceremony and one for the reception.


Quoting sandeeyo:

I can understand having a reception dress...you know the going away outfit?  But a second wedding dress is just fucking perposterous!  ILOVED my dress! I didn't change until we got to the hotel room and then I kept going back to the closet to look at it! Lol


Quoting momof2ex1:

This is the new thing. I don't get it. You spend $1000 or more (usually more) on the dress to begin with and then you take it off after 20 minutes and wear something else?? That's just dumb. I didn't want to take my dress off. I wore it for 10hours and then sat in it for another hour looking at the beading lol. Poor dh. He was like WTF Take it OFF!!





Quoting sandeeyo:

She wants to wear a SECOND wedding dress to the reception????









dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:57 AM
It's pretty common!! I bought two and ended up changing my mind a week before the wedding

Quoting sandeeyo:

She wants to wear a SECOND wedding dress to the reception????

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Is sm's dress from when she married xh??
That IS pretty awkward
rebeccasmly
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:11 AM
I have to side with you on this one. I think your DD is in the wrong here. She asked for her opinion and you gave it.
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