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Name changes...

Posted by on May. 20, 2013 at 2:27 AM
  • 53 Replies

So, this comes from a post on facebook. This woman wants to change her DD's last name. The DD has her BD's last name. BM wants to change the DD's last name to that of SF because BM wants their entire family to have the same last name. The BM is trying to figure out if she can legally change her DD's last name without having to notify the BD.

I can't tell you the number of people who are telling her it's totally OK to change her DD's name without notifying the BD and without his permission.

It makes me so sad that people are so quick to dump the OP from their child's life to make their OWN life easier. 

by on May. 20, 2013 at 2:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momma2zac2006
by Member on May. 20, 2013 at 2:41 AM
That's not legal as far as I'm aware. if bd is in the kids life or not they have to notify him. we're changing ds last name when my dh adopts him but obviously that's different as his bd is in jail and before that was never in his life.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 20, 2013 at 2:42 AM

They were saying that she could claim she didn't know his address, and then run an add in the local paper for 3 weeks trying to notify him and if he doesn't contest it, then it's legal.


Quoting momma2zac2006:

That's not legal as far as I'm aware. if bd is in the kids life or not they have to notify him. we're changing ds last name when my dh adopts him but obviously that's different as his bd is in jail and before that was never in his life.



Lauren79
by Bronze Member on May. 20, 2013 at 2:44 AM
It's absolutely not legal, especially if the bf is involved. Where I live the only way to get around the bf approving & it would be because you don't know where he's st because he's uninvolved, the judge orders that once a week for 3 months it be listed in the legal notices of the local paper and if bf is in another town you have to list it in that paper as well.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 20, 2013 at 2:56 AM

She refuses to say how involved BD is, which leads me to believe that she's either already asked him and he said no, or he's involved and she still wants to do it.

I'm getting jumped on for posting that it's wrong to intentionally go behind your child's other parent's back to do something like this. Apparently I'm judgmental and mean. I keep saying that she needs to consider WHY she's doing this. If it's truly in the best interest of the child or if it's so everyone has matching last names?


Quoting Lauren79:

It's absolutely not legal, especially if the bf is involved. Where I live the only way to get around the bf approving & it would be because you don't know where he's st because he's uninvolved, the judge orders that once a week for 3 months it be listed in the legal notices of the local paper and if bf is in another town you have to list it in that paper as well.



whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 6:50 AM

wow. that's crazy. Is the father active at all in the DD's life? 

dandymandy273
by on May. 20, 2013 at 6:55 AM

 That's not even legal in my state. People are fucking stupid.

Leigh84
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 7:59 AM
That's crazy and ridiculous
megz0511
by Member on May. 20, 2013 at 8:09 AM
How old is her dd? Is bf involved? Was is dd's idea? I never saw my dad after I was 4. My mom remarried and in second grade I decided I wanted the same last name as everyone else. So I started writing it on everything. The school even made my report cards under the last name. I mean it was legally changed but everything I had said the new last name. I ended up going back to my bf's last name. I'm now 28 and have had my step dad as the only father I ever had for 24 years and I'm fine with my bf's last name. I think that it sounds like the mom is being silly. And if her dd's bf is involved he'll flip if he finds out she did it without telling him. Even if he's not involved he might find a way to stop her from changing it.
annabl1970
by Gold Member on May. 20, 2013 at 8:10 AM
She is stupid
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
shanlee42
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 8:15 AM
I can't believe there are people telling her it's okay. If Dad is around and a part of her life then it's not okay. What does the child think about all of this?
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