Hi Y'all I have posted a time or 2 in here and while I am not a SM, I do want the best for my lil guy and we are moving forward into the stage where I am going to meet the possible SM but currently GF. I do not look to cause conflict, but do want all grown ups to be on the same page for the raising of my lil guy. You will see me use often "my lil guy or my son", it mainly comes from a place where his dad has NOT been a constent in his life even when we were together, so I use "my" as I have been the one (99%) caring for our childs daily needs. He now after a year is wanting to bring up weekend overnight visits with him again yet hasn't maintained a weekly visit or a routine phone call in this year. My lil guy loves his dad and I want him to have that love for him, he does not see the missed visits or calls as I don't tell him about them and make them a surprise if he shows. My son is 5yo
A little back history, the BF and I were together 5 years. It was a rough 5 years and an even rougher pregnancy. The constent threats of breakig up (his) but not following through. The daily burst of crying (me). The blame for not getting an abortion (him). The nights out with friends (him). The feeling like your the only one trying to make a relationship work (me). The 5 years of carrying another adult through life that will not remain employeed (him). The constent excuses of why life dumps on them (him). Working a 80+ week plus raising 2 kids without the help or support one should have in a relationship (me). I know this seems a bit one sided but I only have what and how I have felt as when I broke things off due to the feelings above he went and got another female pregnant within months (they just had their baby). From his views to me their relationship has the same characteristics that ours did and I am glad that he found someone else to carry him through life (yes, that is my views). I only miss that he is not regularly involved in his sons life due to this "new family" or other excuses. I do not blame or put fault on her in anyway!! I often find myself thankful for this opportunity to meet her as maybe I will have better luck communicating with her then I do him.
Now I do have boundaries, but they come in good nature as the BM of my child and in no way have anything to do with "not working as a team". But am curious for those that have working relationships with BM or SM, how was your 1st meets? what do you expect from each other? How do you communicate? How can I be the best I can be and what are some of the things I should expect? What should be my expectations from them? Any advice or opinions are welcome....
on May. 24, 2013 at 9:08 AM