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I've come to the conclusion...**RANT! SO PISSED OFF!!***

Posted by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:04 AM
  • 155 Replies
2 moms liked this
BM is...

A bitch ....well we all knew that from the beginning.

Jealous- she hates the fact that her daughter loves me. She hates the fact that the Man she was with for 5 years has moved on, gotten married and had a baby with his new wife (Me) She hates the fact that DH and I take her on awesome vacations.

Crazy- for more reasons then 1. She thinks I stole her family when she was long gone before I came into the picture. She Tells me to respect her boundaries and stay out of it, yet SHE is the one who brings me into situations where I don't belong?! She tells her daughter that she doesn't like me and that her sister (mine and DHs child) isn't her sister at all.

Lazy- she's lazy, lives off my DHs hard earned money. Yes I'm aware that she's entitled to CS which isn't a problem...ONLY if at least half Of it were being used on SD. Which clearly it's not because SD asked me to buy her new shoes because the ones she has dont fit, They hurt her feet and she has asked her mom for new ones but BM tells her she never has enough money...if the money isn't being used for SD. Where the F* is it going. And just to add she lives at home with mommy and daddy and her husband. So we all know damn well she doesn't paying for jack shit!

Threatened- by me and my SDs relationship that she has to go so low and tell her daughter I'm a bad person.

What mom does these things to her 5 year old?

A SHITTY ONE! That obviously cares more about herself then she does her own daughter.

**END RANT**

Ok say what you need, I have thick skin but I'm not promising ill even respond!
by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 25, 2013 at 6:31 AM
7 moms liked this

You sure are putting a lot of thought into your husband's ex-wife. Maybe someday you will be able to accept the situation and focus on your own life.

Given_to_Fly
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 7:22 AM
4 moms liked this
Don't waste your thoughts on this woman. Focus on you and your husband and you will find that life is much easier. I used to be in your shoes, and once I stopped giving BM so much space in my head, MY life got a lot happier :-) It's hard, but give it a try and you will see!
mkingsley
by on May. 25, 2013 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe you should try and put yourself in the biological mothers shoes and think about how she may feel. There is something causing her stress!! Hope it works out.
momalee40
by on May. 25, 2013 at 7:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Feels good to get it off your chest doesn't it ? I know how you feel, have a lot of the same feelings. I have two diff bms to deal with. They both hate me cause their sons like me ! I've had to learn to just live like they don't exist. The kids will see them for what they are as they get older. You just keep being a consistent person in your sd life and it will work out.
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2013 at 7:51 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't know that I would put those labels on her since you don't know what she's thinking or her actual reasons behind everything.  BM used to say horrible things to SS's about me and even DH.  They would bring it up to me, we would talk about it, and that was the end of it. SS's were the ones around me and knew how I was.  They ignored their Mom's bullshit just like I did.

CarrieOkey9112
by on May. 25, 2013 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Feel good to vent... but yeah im not even married but i get little discouraged by my boyfriends BM. And she tries to make me jelous, more so when he and I first got together... try to stay more focused on your life with your husband and your little family and keep doin what your doing.. you are obviously doing something right because your step daughter loves you... it is hard sometimes trying to please someone elses child especially when you dont want the child to think you are trying to replace the other parent bacause that is not the case.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 25, 2013 at 9:01 AM
3 moms liked this


Me too. I think it's a phase that many SMs go through, in the early years.

it's also very common to assume that BM acts the way she does because she's jealous and wants your (the SM's) life. In reality, I bet there are very few BMs who really want the SM's life. Most moms dont' really give that much thought to the SM at all.

Quoting Given_to_Fly:

Don't waste your thoughts on this woman. Focus on you and your husband and you will find that life is much easier. I used to be in your shoes, and once I stopped giving BM so much space in my head, MY life got a lot happier :-) It's hard, but give it a try and you will see!



Given_to_Fly
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 9:13 AM
2 moms liked this
Quoting whatIknownow:




Exactly! A lot of SM's fail to realize BM could really care less. That was me 3 years ago. I must say, you SMC ladies have definitely helped me grow in my steplife!! It was hard at first to hear the raw truth but it has definitely helped when applied to everyday life!! I'm happier, DH is happier, and I think even SS is happier because the resentment and anger and all that is gone.

Yesterday, BM passed me on the way to get SS, clearly saw me. Parked in the driveway, blocking it. Three years ago I would have had a hissy fit, instead I just waited for DH to ask her to park on the street and used that opportunity to remind myself that not everything is done out of spite and to pick my battles. We had a brief chat about summer camp options for SS and she left. Three short years ago I would have ignored her then bitched to my DH about how much of a bitch she is and blah blah blah because I thought she was trying to be spiteful, when really that was not the case.

But I digress, OP needa to hang around SMC, get the advice offered (if it is relevent) and apply it to her life. Once BM is out of her head she will be happier :-)
AmericanDream
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 9:16 AM

You are giving BM way too much room in your world.  

Yes, she is your SD's mom and will always be around but that doesn't mean you need to focus on her.  Let it go.

minimoo
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 11:35 AM
This. Sm tells everyone all the time that I'm jealous of her and "angry that she has my life." In reality, if I look at her life, the one I chose to not live, I become even more grateful and appreciative that I got out. At this point, she has realized that her life isn't unicorns pooping rainbows, and hates me for having a better life. It would do her more good to reevaluate her own choices and make changes for herself. But yes, the only thought I put into sm and her life w bf is "Thank God that's not me, I know without a doubt I did the right thing" or and karma's a bitch BC he married himself.


Quoting whatIknownow:


Me too. I think it's a phase that many SMs go through, in the early years.

it's also very common to assume that BM acts the way she does because she's jealous and wants your (the SM's) life. In reality, I bet there are very few BMs who really want the SM's life. Most moms dont' really give that much thought to the SM at all.


Quoting Given_to_Fly:

Don't waste your thoughts on this woman. Focus on you and your husband and you will find that life is much easier. I used to be in your shoes, and once I stopped giving BM so much space in my head, MY life got a lot happier :-) It's hard, but give it a try and you will see!





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