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Are you a united front?

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Amy
  • 24 Replies

Do you and your DH stand united in front of the kids (step and bio) even if  you don't agree with the other?

by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tpayne2011
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Definitely always, it's important that they understand that they can't get around the house rules.


Quoting amonkeymom:

Do you and your DH stand united in front of the kids (step and bio) even if  you don't agree with the other?


aeELE
by Silver Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:47 AM

Yes. Sometimes we have a big talk about it later, lol, but in the moment we back each other up. 

smarterthanyou
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:48 AM

 yes, if we disagree, i normally let him call the shots simply cause he's an ass if i don't. if i feel REALLY strong about it, i'll stand my ground but i pick and choose my battles but never in front of the kids

Derdriu
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:50 AM

Yes.  We may disagree later behind closed doors, but the kids don't need to see that. 

whatIknownow
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Most of the time, yes. Probably 99% of the time. It is our intention to be a united front. In fact, if my DH says something to the kids that I don't agree with, I will just go along with it (usually), just because it's more important for us to be a united front.

DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:46 PM

 This is always the hard part that alot of people forget about when being a "united front".  It isn't always about the other person backing YOU up, sometimes you have to pack up the other person even when you don't agree.  That can be really hard. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

Most of the time, yes. Probably 99% of the time. It is our intention to be a united front. In fact, if my DH says something to the kids that I don't agree with, I will just go along with it (usually), just because it's more important for us to be a united front.

 

Si_si
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:48 PM

 Yes, DH and I agree on most everything but when we don't I think we both let it go pretty equally.

If it's a significant issue then we talk but when we are alone.

There hasn't been anything of significance that can't wait a few days or even a week or longer.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Most definitely 100% of the time. But only with my child that lives in the house. I dont agree with almost anything he does with his son. But that is not my concern.

Recently my DD wanted to do something. I weighed it out and told her I didnt like the idea and she needed to reconsider. I think she could tell I was leaning towards it being a "no". My DH, a few days later, got all caught up in her crocodile tears and said yes to her. This yes involved about 550.00. You should have seen him writing out the check recently. I thought his head would explode. I just gave him the "I told you so" look and he just smirked back but never said another word about it. Haha.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:59 PM

I almost feel like a broken record citing "respect" again, but that's what makes a united front.  You just nailed it where some some BPs/SPs struggle with one another.  Some folks can't get past themselves to respect their partner and make compromises.  It's just gimme, gimme, gimme, do it my way, and by the way - shut up!  Then they wonder why there's a problem.

Quoting DDDaysh:

 This is always the hard part that alot of people forget about when being a "united front".  It isn't always about the other person backing YOU up, sometimes you have to pack up the other person even when you don't agree.  That can be really hard. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

Most of the time, yes. Probably 99% of the time. It is our intention to be a united front. In fact, if my DH says something to the kids that I don't agree with, I will just go along with it (usually), just because it's more important for us to be a united front.

 


 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this

And just because we present a united front doesn't mean we don't go behind the frontlines and hash out our disagreement.  And then we present the new and improved message to the kids if necessary.


Quoting DDDaysh:

 This is always the hard part that alot of people forget about when being a "united front".  It isn't always about the other person backing YOU up, sometimes you have to pack up the other person even when you don't agree.  That can be really hard. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

Most of the time, yes. Probably 99% of the time. It is our intention to be a united front. In fact, if my DH says something to the kids that I don't agree with, I will just go along with it (usually), just because it's more important for us to be a united front.

 



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