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I wont be a step mom no longer.

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 4:59 AM
  • 27 Replies

The fieance' and I broke up... actually he broke up with me tonight. He says I'm too worried, I'm becoming into my mother, do I really want you to be my wife, and the biggest hurtful statement... "Well, you're not his mother you shouldn't come first- only my son and BM. My son needs both his parents not you're not it." Apparently he doesn't want his son growing up with step parents like what the ex fiance' did when he was growing up. He doesn't want to talk about us anymore and our future, and is starting to ignore me for these last few days... so he stop calling me on his breaks from workand when he's coming home. He's taking my ring back and he wants a new life with his new son. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight and when he's visiting his son tomorrow I need to pack all my things and leave. 

So all this time of me trying to learn and getting advice, and ranting is this natural? Are we doing it wrong? It was all for nothing and getting myself prepared was a big joke to him. He doesn't want to be with me after so many years of being together. He repeatedly saying what's ever best for my son and I can't be involed because it will get him confused. I'm very hurt... i wanted to get married and have a family one day, buy a house... and he broke it off with me because I'm not his BM and I'm too worried. I believe for these last few days he's been seeing BM- that's why he's coming home late it's only a 15-20min drive he comes home by 11-1130p, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. 

I wont be a step mother nor I'll ever be a BM. My heart has been broken... The stories on here made me feel like I wasn't alone and some support... Now I don't see the use becuase I'm neither. Good bye, and hope everything goes well. I'll be deleting this account soon. 

by on May. 31, 2013 at 4:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mudwrap
by on May. 31, 2013 at 5:08 AM
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
mudwrap
by on May. 31, 2013 at 5:09 AM
I think you must be right. He must be seeing the bm.
angelmommy2806
by on May. 31, 2013 at 6:06 AM
What a jerk. I don't know your stitch, but nobody deserves to be treated like that. At least you found out before you got married what he's really like. Forget about the asshole, not All men are like that, at least not a real man in my opinion.
whatIknownow
by on May. 31, 2013 at 7:29 AM
2 moms liked this

well, I re-read your other post and it seems there was a lot going on.

Sometimes it just wasn't meant to be. When you find someone else and have a family of your own, you will be glad he broke up with you. You will see this as a lucky break. 

Anidawehiwahya
by Member on May. 31, 2013 at 7:31 AM
1 mom liked this

so very sorry to hear. I do understand how you feel. It is very hard. I went through this a few years ago in 2006 with my first realtionship (no ring was involoved), but a battered women's shelter and nights on couches were. I was very close to the 2 kids that I played a very big part of their life for just over 2 years. It broke my heart to leave. We talked of marriage and childless myself, I thought I had met the mad of my dreams. I am so glad I got out before it got any worse. This unfortunate thing in your life will hopefully open up new doors to bigger and better things. I know for me, it was extremely hard for a while, but I am in a great relationship with a great man and a wonderful Sson (he drives me crazy everyday), but I wouldn't want it any other way... :) Good Luck, Keep your chin up and if possible, keep your account open if you have not deleted it. You can stil learn alot from women here.. :)

krystyneh
by on May. 31, 2013 at 7:36 AM
I'm sooo sorry you are going through this :( I wish you all the luck
Leigh84
by Gold Member on May. 31, 2013 at 8:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry you had to go through this. It really seems he wants to be w/BM and be an intact family. It just wasn't meant to be. Let your heart heal and move on.
smarterthanyou
by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:35 AM
2 moms liked this

 To be honest.........even if he does change his mind it's best for you that way.

i think i'd be walking out if a man EVER told me that i'm now second best because he just found out (years later) he has a kid.

good thing you guys aren't married yet because a wife is supposed to be though it all, not until he finds out he has a kid.

i'm not trying to be so hateful but if that's how he's going to be, he never deserved you any way.

you don't have to delete your account. cafemom is an AWESOME website not just for blended families.......there's all kinds of groups on here that you might click with :)

best of luck to ya hun

blowing kisses

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 9:05 AM
5 moms liked this

cut your losses and move on

every woman has that 1 asshole who makes her a better woman-and he's it for you dear.

Be sure to pack your shit asap and get the hell out of there. hold your head up

Don't let him see you cry. You did nothing wrong-obviously he doesn't deserve you if he's willing to just walk away after so many years.

Amy1973Potts
by on May. 31, 2013 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow. Im so sorry to hear that but am happy you are free of that bastard!

You have your whole LIFE ahead of you!
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