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Child phychologist question

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:57 PM
  • 37 Replies

If your child or stepchild sees a psychologist...

How often does he see psychologist?


My stepson is almost 7yrs old going into 2nd grade and has been seeing a psychologist since he was 5 off and on. In the beginning it was once a week then dropped to every other due to lack of time to get him there. Then not at all because his mom didnt want to pay for it anymore. He was doing better too. I think he went almost a year. Dropped off just before he was 6. Then behavior problems at school started back up and he was diagnosed ADHD. He went on medicine about oct this past year which helped with school behavior but he started acting depressed and self deprecating. He is currently take slow release adderal.   He finally started seeing a psychologist again but it doesn't seem to happen very often maybe every 2 weeks. I'm super concerned with the comments he is making. Ex, I wish I were allowed to kill you (at mom) I hate being me, I'll never win anything, my mom doesn't like me, I wish you would fall down the stairs (at 4yr old half sister) hate and kill are common words that are used daily. He gets frustrated and very angry easily and will throw major tantrums especially when he is told no or recieves a consequence for a negative behavior. We are going into summer schedule where we do 50/50 split and I was hoping to get him to more therapy sessions. Is 2 per week too much? I get so worried about him and the possibility he might actually hurt one of his sisters. Last summer he tried drowning the 4 yr old. She had a life jacket on and he got mad at her so he got on top of her and held her under the water until I started screaming at him. I can't take my eyes off him which is a horrible feeling.

by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
luckystars2012
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 9:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Where the hell is dad?
KJH618
by Member on May. 31, 2013 at 9:23 PM

He is with his son every minute we have him but in summer we have him every other week and 2 of those days he works a 12hr shift. So because I'm a stay at home mom I watch all the kids those 2 days. I try to put him in some type of camp on those days but camps don't last 12hrs.

Its hard because we live 1hr15mins from BM otherwise she would take her son back while bf is working. It's less back and forth for ss for me to watch him though which is a major complaint of ss. Hard on me though. 7, 4, 17 months, and 29 weeks pregnant this summer.

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 9:31 PM

Where is his therapist?  If BM lives so far and I am assuming she has been the one responsible for taking him, how do you intend on getting him there?  And would BM bring him on the weeks he is with her?

Or are you planning on finding a therapist near you?  Would he then see two different therapists?

destiny83
by on May. 31, 2013 at 9:38 PM
He is insured, yes? Many providers offer mental help therapy at little or no cost. I have Kaiser and to see an intern for thereapy is free.
DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:00 PM

When DS was in therapy just with a therapist (Masters, not PhD level) it still cost us a specialist copay every time he saw her ($40) and then with the decutible plan it was $100/visit until we hit the deductible.  Is that something that is in the budget?  

Also, has he had a recent evaluation?  Pretty much any professional you take him to is going to want to do their own initial evaluation before deciding on a therapy schedule.  Also, I'm not sure that going twice during the weeks with you guys will help if he doesn't go at all on the other weeks, and I'm not sure how it will stop the "back and forth" if he's having to drive it for therapy anyway.  

ejsmom4604
by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:19 PM

My first question is what meds is he on? ADHD meds can cause depression, mood swings, sucidal and violent thoughts. That is something that needs to be brought up to the psychologist. 

Honestly, based on the info you have provided, he seems to need a med adjustment (either dosage amount, or type or both) and he needs minimum weekly appointments. It doesn't have to be a psychologist every time other than at least monthly med checks, but a therapist would work, and if needs be they can bring in the psychologist if needs be. This is something everybody needs to work on together. There should be at least one to two sessions a month where at least the bio parents are there for the appointment. 

BM and dad may want to check into some community places that are income based. They are far more affordable. But he definitely needs more than every other week. 

KJH618
by Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:23 PM

We use a therapist that has an office in both locations. We used to do 1 week and her the next until school schedule/work schedules got changed. So this summer we will be back to each taking him weekly hopefully. 

KJH618
by Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:42 PM

We do have insurance and now that deductible is met it is about $14 per session but pricey before deductible was met. We are not struggling for money and have offered to pay everything. It just boils down to time really for BM. It is hard to make the appointments. Yes, meds have been adjusted several times this year. Getting the ADHD medicine and dosage right has been a struggle since October. His meds are prescribed through his pediatrician. He just recently switched to a new medicine and really hasn't been on it long enough to tell how it is working with him. He got really sick with strep and went off for a litte bit. Medicine is also expensive. BM is struggling financially and didn't tell us until a month ago. Since finding out we have offered to pay 100% of medical, pharmacy, and child care. Nothing against her but she is too proud to accept the help. She likes to complain about not having enough money but doesn't want to accept help which I can understand.


All adults involved are very aware of what is going on and we all work together to come up with a positive solution. We may not like each other but we are civil and everyone puts on the happy face for the little guy involved. BM is having a tough year and we are doing our best to offer any additional help/support to her bc her mental health plays a big part in her son's mental health.


Before anyone asks about moving closer. We are unable to move. We own a house and have 2 children and another on the way. Our jobs and family are where we live and we have been at same location for 13 years. BM moved away with her son when her relationship with bf never became a relationship. She moved in with her parents when baby was 4 months old. I met my husband when baby was 11 months old and we have been together ever since (6yrs now). BM's parents just moved leaving her with no family in her town and she just got bumped out of her teaching position for next year and lease is up in aug. she could move closer to us but doesn't want to.

ejsmom4604
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:40 PM

Med adjustments can take a while. Unless extreme there should not be more than one adjustment a month. Also just know that the meds are effecting the chemical imbalnce that is in his head. That is what ADHD basically is (just in case it wasn't known and for others that didn't know :) ) 

There should be sessions where BM and BD are there. It is so things can be worked out with a neuteral thrid party and so anything thing that is going to be initiated (such as behavioral modifications) everyone is on the same page and clear. Plus it avoids any missed info. 

That is awesome that the therapist has an office in both locations. That helps so much with consistancy. 

Quoting KJH618:

We do have insurance and now that deductible is met it is about $14 per session but pricey before deductible was met. We are not struggling for money and have offered to pay everything. It just boils down to time really for BM. It is hard to make the appointments. Yes, meds have been adjusted several times this year. Getting the ADHD medicine and dosage right has been a struggle since October. His meds are prescribed through his pediatrician. He just recently switched to a new medicine and really hasn't been on it long enough to tell how it is working with him. He got really sick with strep and went off for a litte bit. Medicine is also expensive. BM is struggling financially and didn't tell us until a month ago. Since finding out we have offered to pay 100% of medical, pharmacy, and child care. Nothing against her but she is too proud to accept the help. She likes to complain about not having enough money but doesn't want to accept help which I can understand.


All adults involved are very aware of what is going on and we all work together to come up with a positive solution. We may not like each other but we are civil and everyone puts on the happy face for the little guy involved. BM is having a tough year and we are doing our best to offer any additional help/support to her bc her mental health plays a big part in her son's mental health.


Before anyone asks about moving closer. We are unable to move. We own a house and have 2 children and another on the way. Our jobs and family are where we live and we have been at same location for 13 years. BM moved away with her son when her relationship with bf never became a relationship. She moved in with her parents when baby was 4 months old. I met my husband when baby was 11 months old and we have been together ever since (6yrs now). BM's parents just moved leaving her with no family in her town and she just got bumped out of her teaching position for next year and lease is up in aug. she could move closer to us but doesn't want to.


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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jun. 1, 2013 at 1:39 AM
My daughter has been seeing a therapist off and on for the last 6 years. She sees her when she needs to at this point. When things are not going well, she asks to see her. I never enjoyed paying for it especially since the cause of the problem wasn't and is not helping to pay. She saw her today and I paid $135. Pretty sure I won't be reimbursed the half that I am supposed to be reimbursed. I hate paying this expense. It is expensive. I am not going to lie. There have been times that I have had to reschedule because I just did not have $135.

I don't think there is any reason to see a therapist weekly if things are going well. We went a year without seeing her one time with just a few emails, how are things going, do we need to make an appointment, check ups. But if things are going well and there is no real issue to handle, then really? Why spend the money? If the child is really struggling and needs to be seen then absolutely. But just like anything else, if you don't have the money for it sometimes it has to be postponed. Most therapists won't see you for free and a lot don't file through insurance. Since my dd does not have a mental/behavioral issue, there is no diagnosis and so insurance won't cover it. This is for custody/divorce/blended family issues. And insurance won't pay for that.
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