My husband's ex-wife wants their 16 year old son to come live with us but I don't think it's such a good idea. We have 7 kids, I'll be having our 8th, due July 29th and just think that we have our own kids even though this is his child. I don't want to mess up what we have here by bringing a 16 year old boy into our house so I said no and my husband agreed with me and told me that we'll just keep paying the child support for another year, his son will be 17 on June 27th. So he told her no and now she is upset with us over this, she told him why not? you guys have so many kids already what's one more? It's not bringing him into the house that's the problem, he'd instantly be the oldest child here and I don't want to have to do with a child that I would not have been raising until now that just doesn't make any sense to me. She is upset with me because she knows it was me that made the decision, but why shouldn't I? I'm home with the kids all day long while my husband is working 12-14 hours a day and don't think it's fair to me to have to raise her child. If he was younger then I'd have no problem but he's going to be 17 he can stay with his mom.
UPDATE: My husband talked to his son and his son told him that he wants to go live with his brother who is 19 years old and has his own place but his mom won't let him. He got lippy with his mom so she wants him to leave for good and called us. He told his son that he needs to respect his mother and appolgize to her and he doesn't care who he wants to live with. His son told him that he's tired of his mom treating him like a little kid and that he's almost 18 and doesn't want to live with her anymore. His son told my husband that he doesn't want to live with us and it was his mom that wants him to find somewhere else to live.
One more year and we are finished with child support. I can't wait but we're not going to let him come live here, his mom is going to let him stay with her but is not happy that we said no and I could careless if she's happy or not.
ANOTHER UPDATE: My husband and I have discussed this further. After reading some posts on here I thought it out more and decided to let him come live with us for the summer and we'll see how it goes, if he is good and wants to stay I don't have as much of a problem with it as I did at first. At first I thought well she is just going to be forcing me to finish raising him, I'm the one that is raising all of our kids while my husband works. I told my husband that I feel bad that nobody wants him to live with them and think we could give it a try. My husband is going to seek full and sole custody of him though and at that point if he wants to live with his older brother he can do so because we'll let him do that unlike his mother.
My husband called his ex wife and talked to her about this and told her that he'll figure out what we need to do in the morning, he's off tomorrow so tomorrow would be a perfect day to see about this. He asked his ex-wife if she would give him full and sole custody and she told him that she would, so that is what we'll be seeking.
My only problem is that she has raised him for so long and now all of the sudden wants to throw him out, I do feel bad for my stepson.
YET ANOTHER UPDATE: My husband spoke with a Lawyer this morning and the Lawyer told him both him and his ex wife need to sign a motion to sign off on him for child support then they can get the child support adjusted so we get the child support from her. She told him she has no problems paying child support for him so we'll be expecting child support to kick in our way soon after we get him hopefully. We're going to get him tomorrow after school and he'll have his own bedroom. He understands the rules we have in place and realizes that if he breaks the rules he'll be moving again. My husband told him that he could go live with his brother if he wants to and he told him that he'll stay with us instead so at least he is accepting of the idea and not being forced into it.
Mom to 5 boys and 3 girls with #8 on the way
Emily, Jordan, Sara, Jason, Aiden, Chloe, Nick and Cody EDD 7-29-13