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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Here is my story:

I am married, my husband has a 10 year old son. For the last 5 years of us being together, his ex wife has not done anything for him for fathers day. I am fine with that. I have taken my ss shopping and gotten him a gift and card. I really love doing this. Today, I asked my ss what he wanted to get his dad for fathers day, and he said, "Oh, my mom took me shopping already. We got him stuff".

I feel so hurt, and I also feel like I am being a baby. It is good that his mom took him shopping for his dad, right? If it is good, why do I feel so bad??

Just so everyone know, my dh and I do not have an children together. We are ttc, and having fertility issues. Maybe this is part of the reason I feel crummy about it?

What do other step moms do for fathers day?

by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 5:31 PM
Replies (21-25):
e.nicole.w
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:09 PM

I think you're probably feeling bad because that's something that you and your SS have done together in the past. It is a good thing that the BM is stepping up and doing something but I think that you should still take your SS to go and get his dad something. I do it with my SS and I don't worry about whether or not his BM is going to do anything. So far she hasn't but I don't wait around to find out either. Good luck :) 

kkkaaayyyy
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 10:08 AM

I agree with Baparrot2. GO out and do your shopping with him. Just because she bought him stuff doesn't mean you cant get him something FROM YOU and your SS. 

crysiann
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 10:14 AM

 

He,(my ss), does not want to go shopping for something else with me, so, I had to do it on my own. I wasn't going to force him to go shopping again.

Quoting kkkaaayyyy:

I agree with Baparrot2. GO out and do your shopping with him. Just because she bought him stuff doesn't mean you cant get him something FROM YOU and your SS. 


 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Well, our situation is different, BM only sees SD once a month, and DH and I have 3 children together. So, the 4 kiddos and I make things together for DH.

Humility1
by on Jun. 15, 2013 at 1:05 PM
I hear you crysiann my stepson I did the same thing I gave birthday gifts to stepson to give to grandma since she has custody she was happy, but when it came to my birthday, no acknowledgement. However, my husband's birthday, she was trying to come I the house and she bought him a gift. After this one year of me trying to be generous to everyone in the family, I gave up because my stepson's grandma is the type where she can see what he wants to get money wise from me. The grandma doesn't even acknowledge me and that's so sad, yes we are human but I've learned from the experience that I'm not gonna let anybody take advantage of my kindness. So, I don't bother because are I rent ions are good, but it's like we didn't do nothing to the bio family. Now, dh takes are of everything, things are different and he is not as thoughtful as me because he is a guy, lol!


Quoting crysiann:

 


Actually, I did take my ss feelings into consideration. That is why when he told me, I simply said, oh that's nice. I am sure daddy will love it. I would never stop him from giving a gift to his dad. I don't care where it came from. The point is that for 5 years, she had not done anything. And in fact, we got mothers day and birthday gifts for him to give her, and she gave them back to us. So, I was just surprised she did something, and yes, my feelings were hurt. I am a human, I have feelings, but, I am also an adult and always put the child first.


Quoting tiredmama42:


I think the point in this case is the childs feelings first off.  He dont care who takes him shopping as long as he has something to give his father.     I always did it with my DD then the SM refused to let her give her dad the gift once she came in the picture.. end result was my DD crying and hurt.  She didnt care whos money it was she seen it as it was her gift for her father.   SM seen it as a gift from me.  Very sad because its about the kids and the kids only in my opinion.  




 


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