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Telling Stepkid's they're getting a sibling....

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:43 PM
  • 23 Replies

How did you go about telling your stepkids you were expecting a baby. I'm just looking for input from people who have been in this same or similar situation. I am not looking for any negativity or bashing. I think I would want to do it in a "fun" way so that it's something that's exciting for the kids. Like I said, really anyone who has any suggestions or advice...it would be greatly appreciated.

by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DDDaysh
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:51 PM
How old are the kids? Mine was only 2.
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:56 PM
We sat all the kids down and talked to them about it. Answered any questions addressed any concerns.

A fun way I saw on pinterest was to have people in general (whomever your telling). Open a big box full of balloons. It was cute.
ChelseNichole
by Chelse on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:14 PM

14 and 5. I'll tell you my concerns. First of all, I should start by saying I have a very good relationship with them. I love them, they love me...so there is not she's an evil stepmom business going on or any of that. They actually made me VERY nice Mother's Day card this year...unprompted lol. I know their opinion of me may not have any bearing on how they take the news...but in the event that it does, we do have very good relationship with one another. My concerns are this: SS14 is at that age where everything and anything is annoying. His dad is annoying because he asks too many questions, I'm annoying because I have a nickname for the dog, the dog is annoying because he barks, his little brother is annoying because he's 5 and does things 5yr olds do. It could have been just that one day that he found all these things to be annoying...but at any rate he's a teenager so we know how that goes. I remember feeling the same way when I was his age lol. So because of that...Im a little unsure of how it will go...it may be annoying he's getting another sibling LMAO. With SS5 I think he will be fine with it...and probably even excited he now get's to be a big brother to someone. My only concern with him is that he will have trouble understanding how this child is his brother or sister...yet it doenst have the same Mom as him, i know he will understand in time. But those are my main concerns lol.

Quoting DDDaysh:

How old are the kids? Mine was only 2.


ChelseNichole
by Chelse on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:15 PM

I saw that as well! and thought it looked cute!

SO and I were thinking about maybe doing a game of hangman and spelling out "You're going to be big brothers!" Idk. I'm a pinterest addict...so I could probably look there! Thanks!!

Quoting MommySabs:

We sat all the kids down and talked to them about it. Answered any questions addressed any concerns.

A fun way I saw on pinterest was to have people in general (whomever your telling). Open a big box full of balloons. It was cute.


DDDaysh
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think the 14-year-old will probably be a little upset.  It's a bit embarassing to get a new sibling once you REALLY know where babies come from and have started thinking on the subject yourself.  He probably won't want to talk about it and might act out a bit.  Just go with the flow. 

For the 5-year-old, just explain about half-siblings.  My son seemed to do ok with that explanation eventually.  He's got a whole bunch of half siblings. 

ChelseNichole
by Chelse on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:26 PM

AHHH! I hadn't even thought about him knowing HOW it took place. and he definitely knows as he has been active once (i think/hope) himself (something he told me himself). I know he is too young to be doing that, TRUST ME, but when he went to his dad about it he had pretty much made up his mind. SO tried to talk him out of it...as he is the product of 2 16 yr olds himself, but like i said he made up his mind...and his gf was 17 at the time. So instead made sure he told him everything he could about the importance of protection, against preganancy and STD's. Yikes. I really hadn't thought of that aspect of it. I am so nervous about telling them its unreal.

Quoting DDDaysh:

 I think the 14-year-old will probably be a little upset.  It's a bit embarassing to get a new sibling once you REALLY know where babies come from and have started thinking on the subject yourself.  He probably won't want to talk about it and might act out a bit.  Just go with the flow. 

For the 5-year-old, just explain about half-siblings.  My son seemed to do ok with that explanation eventually.  He's got a whole bunch of half siblings. 


CodeBlue
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:30 PM
You hope your SS is active?


Quoting ChelseNichole:

AHHH! I hadn't even thought about him knowing HOW it took place. and he definitely knows as he has been active once (i think/hope) himself (something he told me himself). I know he is too young to be doing that, TRUST ME, but when he went to his dad about it he had pretty much made up his mind. SO tried to talk him out of it...as he is the product of 2 16 yr olds himself, but like i said he made up his mind...and his gf was 17 at the time. So instead made sure he told him everything he could about the importance of protection, against preganancy and STD's. Yikes. I really hadn't thought of that aspect of it. I am so nervous about telling them its unreal.

Quoting DDDaysh:

 I think the 14-year-old will probably be a little upset.  It's a bit embarassing to get a new sibling once you REALLY know where babies come from and have started thinking on the subject yourself.  He probably won't want to talk about it and might act out a bit.  Just go with the flow. 


For the 5-year-old, just explain about half-siblings.  My son seemed to do ok with that explanation eventually.  He's got a whole bunch of half siblings. 



faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Well. My kids are older and it was just is for 13 years, so I thought it best for me to tell them by myself. I told SO and he told his boys that day as well by himself.

We had a miscarriage a few months prior, so we waited for 12 weeks to tell them.

All the kids took it well and were excited. Even ss5, who we expected jealousy from, has been great with it.

Unfortunately they aren't as excited about their mothers pregnancy. They don't like party boy much and they say she hardly pays attention to them without a baby.
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:35 PM

I was going to say the same thing as DDD did.  The 14 yo may not react well no matter the news, because he's 14 and a boy (they just don't seem to get that interested in it, especially that age).  The 5yo may or may not be excited.  What experience does he have with babies? (does BM have a child younger than him?)  Does he like little ones? 

My boys were not thrilled when BF/SM told them (they 'surprised' them and the boys reaction (negative) surprised BF and SM more). That said, they did/do NOT feel warm and fuzzy about SM and they were waivering on BF as well.  Adding kids to the mix wasn't a good idea to the boys (still isn't).  BF called me all upset at the boys reactions.  I didn't know myself so I didn't 'prepare' them or anything (as he accused me of doing - how could I set them up if I didn't have a clue????  he finally admitted I couldn't have - duh!). 

I'm not saying this to say your SSs will react poorly either, just to warn you that no matter how fun and exciting you try to make the news, be prepared that they may not react the way you hope, and don't get your feelings hurt, they're kids.  That said, I hope the boys are actually excited about the new sibling and it's a fun time for all of you. 

ChelseNichole
by Chelse on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:36 PM

No i said he's only done it once...and i wrote i think/hope...meaning I think it's been once and I hope its only been that one time. I know it's been at least that....I'm hoping not anymore than that. His gf (who was 17) broke up with him...and he was very upset...and while talking to him about that he had told me that they had been "active" once. He told me a lot of things I prob could have went without knowing...but I'm glad he feel's he can talk to me about things.

Quoting CodeBlue:

You hope your SS is active?


Quoting ChelseNichole:

AHHH! I hadn't even thought about him knowing HOW it took place. and he definitely knows as he has been active once (i think/hope) himself (something he told me himself). I know he is too young to be doing that, TRUST ME, but when he went to his dad about it he had pretty much made up his mind. SO tried to talk him out of it...as he is the product of 2 16 yr olds himself, but like i said he made up his mind...and his gf was 17 at the time. So instead made sure he told him everything he could about the importance of protection, against preganancy and STD's. Yikes. I really hadn't thought of that aspect of it. I am so nervous about telling them its unreal.

Quoting DDDaysh:

 I think the 14-year-old will probably be a little upset.  It's a bit embarassing to get a new sibling once you REALLY know where babies come from and have started thinking on the subject yourself.  He probably won't want to talk about it and might act out a bit.  Just go with the flow. 


For the 5-year-old, just explain about half-siblings.  My son seemed to do ok with that explanation eventually.  He's got a whole bunch of half siblings. 




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