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BM is a liar liar... pants on fire...

Posted by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 9:57 PM
  • 11 Replies

jk

So, all this back and forth... we have a little more proof... 

I guess, it's not really proof that SS is LIVING with BGM (baby grandma lol) but proof that BM is being dishonest about SS's whereabouts. 

BGM and DH worked out a plan for us to pick SS up this Wednesday (DH has to be in our old town for something that day) and keep him untill the 29th. (thats a total of 10 days, a week and a half) BM texts DH tonight and says "so your taking him for the day wensday?" DH tells her the plan to keep him until the 29th. She flips saying he can't have him for ten days. BM has been asking DH about roating weeks for the summer. Now she says ten days is too long?? She says that SS always crys and says he doesn't want to come to our house and that he always crys for her when he's here. DH tells her that he crys for her because he hasn't seen her in so long. He told her SS told us he lives with Nanny and Papa and that his mommy never comes to visit him. (true as shit, he said that last time he was here. he bawled his head off and we tried to call BM but she didnt answer or didnt have minutes on her phone) Then she says "he's 4 and you cant believe everything a 4 yr old says" (oh really? cuz she seems to believe everything SS suposedly says about our house lol) She says she sees him every day and as a matter of fact, hes standing right in front of her. DH asks her to send him a pic of SS holding a paper that says "Happy Father's Day" on it. She replies that she "dont have to send him shit" DH texts BGM asking if she'd talked to BM about the ten days. She says she told her when we were picking up but didnt mention when we were bringing him back. DH tells BGM that BM is now upset and telling him he can't take him at all. BGM says dont worry about it. And tells DH he is welcome to call SS and talk to him. He calls and talks to SS for a min (he's 4, short attn span). SS says he wants to come live with us. (no, I'm not getting my panties in a bunch over this lol, I just think its funny and a long cry from him telling BM he never wants to come to our house again) SS wishes DH a Happy Daddy's Day and says he has to go to bed. BGM gets on the phone and says not to worry about BM, she is being ridiculous, and this will all blow over by Wednesday. 


So, we have BM claiming SS was there with her, and Nanny telling DH he can call and talk to him. This discredits BM somewhat, I'm hoping. 

by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 9:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:17 PM

Don't stir it up and it probably will blow over.

What's your DH's long term goal for custody? Does he just want a good working relationship with grandma? or does he want it all?

mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:21 PM
At this point, he wants full custody. At least primary residential. The grand parents are good people and all, but it's not their responsibility to raise the kid. If BM is unable or unwilling, DH wants that responsibility.


Quoting Polkadotted:

Don't stir it up and it probably will blow over.

What's your DH's long term goal for custody? Does he just want a good working relationship with grandma? or does he want it all?


Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:23 PM
Are her parents going to help her fight to keep custody?

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

At this point, he wants full custody. At least primary residential. The grand parents are good people and all, but it's not their responsibility to raise the kid. If BM is unable or unwilling, DH wants that responsibility.




Quoting Polkadotted:

Don't stir it up and it probably will blow over.

What's your DH's long term goal for custody? Does he just want a good working relationship with grandma? or does he want it all?


rebeccasmly
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:26 PM

I agree about not stirring the pot and keep to the agreement he currently has with grandma What is the current custody schedule like? If DH was to get custody, how involved would he let the grandparents be?

mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:32 PM
They wouldn't "help" her. But they wouldn't say anything that could be used against her.

They are lying for her. So I guess that counts as helping.

I'm sure her dad would tell DH the truth if the consequences weren't so dire to his way of life. (Dealing with her and her moms crap. apparently her mom is just as crazy as she is, but I've yet to see that side of her.)


Quoting Polkadotted:

Are her parents going to help her fight to keep custody?



Quoting mouthyhousewife:

At this point, he wants full custody. At least primary residential. The grand parents are good people and all, but it's not their responsibility to raise the kid. If BM is unable or unwilling, DH wants that responsibility.






Quoting Polkadotted:

Don't stir it up and it probably will blow over.

What's your DH's long term goal for custody? Does he just want a good working relationship with grandma? or does he want it all?



mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:34 PM
Right now BM has sole custody and DH has eowe visits. The reason he has zero custody is bc he didn't show up for the first court date. He somehow got the date mixed up. He got himself a day planner after that.

DH did put in the papers he filed that he would be willing to set up a visitation plan for the grand parents if he were to get custody.


Quoting rebeccasmly:

I agree about not stirring the pot and keep to the agreement he currently has with grandma What is the current custody schedule like? If DH was to get custody, how involved would he let the grandparents be?


rebeccasmly
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:41 PM

Is there anyway to prove that the child is with the grandparents so much and not with BM without asking the grandparents to testify? I think its wonderful he is offering a plan that includes keeping the grandparents involved. I would also suggest making it clear that he would want them involved with ECs and school activities when they arise since they have him so much currently. They'll be less likely to fight DH getting custody if they feel confident they are not going to be kicked to the curb. KWIM? It will also be good for the child since his grandparents have been such a big part of his life.

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Right now BM has sole custody and DH has eowe visits. The reason he has zero custody is bc he didn't show up for the first court date. He somehow got the date mixed up. He got himself a day planner after that.

DH did put in the papers he filed that he would be willing to set up a visitation plan for the grand parents if he were to get custody.


Quoting rebeccasmly:

I agree about not stirring the pot and keep to the agreement he currently has with grandma What is the current custody schedule like? If DH was to get custody, how involved would he let the grandparents be?



mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:48 PM
We are currently trying to gather proof without their testimony and despite their denial.
DH would always make sure they had access to SS and anything he had going on. And that SS would always have access to his grand parents. They have been the only constant thing in SS's life at this point.



Quoting rebeccasmly:

Is there anyway to prove that the child is with the grandparents so much and not with BM without asking the grandparents to testify? I think its wonderful he is offering a plan that includes keeping the grandparents involved. I would also suggest making it clear that he would want them involved with ECs and school activities when they arise since they have him so much currently. They'll be less likely to fight DH getting custody if they feel confident they are not going to be kicked to the curb. KWIM? It will also be good for the child since his grandparents have been such a big part of his life.

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Right now BM has sole custody and DH has eowe visits. The reason he has zero custody is bc he didn't show up for the first court date. He somehow got the date mixed up. He got himself a day planner after that.



DH did put in the papers he filed that he would be willing to set up a visitation plan for the grand parents if he were to get custody.





Quoting rebeccasmly:

I agree about not stirring the pot and keep to the agreement he currently has with grandma What is the current custody schedule like? If DH was to get custody, how involved would he let the grandparents be?





rebeccasmly
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM

That's good.

We made the mistake of thinking BM's parents would continue to back us when BM returned the picture. We had no reason to believe otherwise considering even they said she should have limited access to the kids. BM's parents were very involved, having the kids every other weekend, attending activities, we would have them over, they would have us over. That all changed when their daughter came back though. Parents will usually stand by their children no matter what so its good not to rely on their help in cases such as this. I wish your husband luck!

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

We are currently trying to gather proof without their testimony and despite their denial.
DH would always make sure they had access to SS and anything he had going on. And that SS would always have access to his grand parents. They have been the only constant thing in SS's life at this point.



Quoting rebeccasmly:

Is there anyway to prove that the child is with the grandparents so much and not with BM without asking the grandparents to testify? I think its wonderful he is offering a plan that includes keeping the grandparents involved. I would also suggest making it clear that he would want them involved with ECs and school activities when they arise since they have him so much currently. They'll be less likely to fight DH getting custody if they feel confident they are not going to be kicked to the curb. KWIM? It will also be good for the child since his grandparents have been such a big part of his life.

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Right now BM has sole custody and DH has eowe visits. The reason he has zero custody is bc he didn't show up for the first court date. He somehow got the date mixed up. He got himself a day planner after that.



DH did put in the papers he filed that he would be willing to set up a visitation plan for the grand parents if he were to get custody.





Quoting rebeccasmly:

I agree about not stirring the pot and keep to the agreement he currently has with grandma What is the current custody schedule like? If DH was to get custody, how involved would he let the grandparents be?






mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:55 PM
Thank you. :)


Quoting rebeccasmly:

That's good.

We made the mistake of thinking BM's parents would continue to back us when BM returned the picture. We had no reason to believe otherwise considering even they said she should have limited access to the kids. BM's parents were very involved, having the kids every other weekend, attending activities, we would have them over, they would have us over. That all changed when their daughter came back though. Parents will usually stand by their children no matter what so its good not to rely on their help in cases such as this. I wish your husband luck!

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

We are currently trying to gather proof without their testimony and despite their denial.

DH would always make sure they had access to SS and anything he had going on. And that SS would always have access to his grand parents. They have been the only constant thing in SS's life at this point.







Quoting rebeccasmly:

Is there anyway to prove that the child is with the grandparents so much and not with BM without asking the grandparents to testify? I think its wonderful he is offering a plan that includes keeping the grandparents involved. I would also suggest making it clear that he would want them involved with ECs and school activities when they arise since they have him so much currently. They'll be less likely to fight DH getting custody if they feel confident they are not going to be kicked to the curb. KWIM? It will also be good for the child since his grandparents have been such a big part of his life.

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Right now BM has sole custody and DH has eowe visits. The reason he has zero custody is bc he didn't show up for the first court date. He somehow got the date mixed up. He got himself a day planner after that.





DH did put in the papers he filed that he would be willing to set up a visitation plan for the grand parents if he were to get custody.








Quoting rebeccasmly:

I agree about not stirring the pot and keep to the agreement he currently has with grandma What is the current custody schedule like? If DH was to get custody, how involved would he let the grandparents be?









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