Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How Far is Too Far?

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 2:59 PM
  • 28 Replies

One of SS14's chores at BMs house is to mow the lawn. Like any typical teenager, it takes a lot of nagging to get it done. 

SS *feels* like all BM ever does is nag him. SO & BM agreed on SS living with us over the summer. When it came time to discuss details, BM told SO that she was worried that they "wouldnt have time to fix their relationship and he wouldnt have time to mow the lawn." So it seems as if the lawn is as high ranking as their relationship. 

Anyway, Sat morning SS was mowing the lawn but not the way BM wanted him to be doing it. So she tells him to do it the other way and he says no. She tells him to give her his phone. He says no. So, she physically tackles him to the ground, bites his hand, and pulls his thumb back until she gets his phone. SO pulls up to pick up skids as this is all happening. 

SS goes to the doctor last night. His thumb is fractured. 

So how far is too far? SS was clearly disrepecting his mother. But did he really deserve to get bitten and have his thumb fractured? 

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 2:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
laughnchica
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:01 PM

Um...hell no! There were PLENTY of other ways to handle the disrespect. You do NOT physically attack your child. How old is she? Five?

rebeccasmly
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:07 PM

Oh my goodness! In my opinion, she crossed the line ina big way! She should have never touched him physically, imo. Also, who cares how he was mowing the lawn, he was doing it!

LoveMy2x4
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:15 PM

My SO was beyond pissed. And when he was telling MY mom about it, she said "Well, SS deserved it" which kind of shocked me. So I was wondering if we were a little biased for thinking it was crazy.

But my kids are 5 and 7. Now Im trying to think of what I would have done in that situation....and I guess because Im just not there yet, I have no idea how I would have really handled it. 


Quoting laughnchica:

Um...hell no! There were PLENTY of other ways to handle the disrespect. You do NOT physically attack your child. How old is she? Five?



laughnchica
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:19 PM

There is no f-ing way any child deserves to be tackled, bitten and have their thumb broken by a parent. Maybe he shouldn't have that attitude and told her no, I get that but still not an excuse. Did she tell him from the get go she wanted the lawn done that SPECIFIC way? How was he supposed to know?

She should have backed off and cooled down and figured out a different way to handle that. You never physically assault your child unless they are doing something that might hurt themselves and they don't know it or are just crazy and trying to kill people. But that is my personal opinion I guess.

Quoting LoveMy2x4:

My SO was beyond pissed. And when he was telling MY mom about it, she said "Well, SS deserved it" which kind of shocked me. So I was wondering if we were a little biased for thinking it was crazy.

But my kids are 5 and 7. Now Im trying to think of what I would have done in that situation....and I guess because Im just not there yet, I have no idea how I would have really handled it. 


Quoting laughnchica:

Um...hell no! There were PLENTY of other ways to handle the disrespect. You do NOT physically attack your child. How old is she? Five?




LoveMy2x4
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:23 PM

I would never do that to one of my kids either. Im really hurt for my SS because he is so upset about it. 

And to hear my mom say he deserved it was a little unsettling. But in the eyes of my mom, a BM can do no wrong. 


Quoting laughnchica:

There is no f-ing way any child deserves to be tackled, bitten and have their thumb broken by a parent. Maybe he shouldn't have that attitude and told her no, I get that but still not an excuse. Did she tell him from the get go she wanted the lawn done that SPECIFIC way? How was he supposed to know?

She should have backed off and cooled down and figured out a different way to handle that. You never physically assault your child unless they are doing something that might hurt themselves and they don't know it or are just crazy and trying to kill people. But that is my personal opinion I guess.

Quoting LoveMy2x4:

My SO was beyond pissed. And when he was telling MY mom about it, she said "Well, SS deserved it" which kind of shocked me. So I was wondering if we were a little biased for thinking it was crazy.

But my kids are 5 and 7. Now Im trying to think of what I would have done in that situation....and I guess because Im just not there yet, I have no idea how I would have really handled it. 


Quoting laughnchica:

Um...hell no! There were PLENTY of other ways to handle the disrespect. You do NOT physically attack your child. How old is she? Five?






jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Um... no.  Call the carrier and have his phone turned off... NO physical voilence associated with that one.  I get that he was being disrespectful but geez, it's grass he's mowing... it's not done right he does it AGAIN and AGAIN until it is.  His loss of time.  BM went too far. 

That said, ODS is 15 and the attitude has finally kicked in.  Thus far he's truly been a pretty easy kid (compared to others) and a joy to be around... until lately... sigh.  The other day I blew up at him.  Granted if you were just walking in/by it'd have seemed like a 'no big deal, what's her problem' thing but it was the straw that I finally snapped on after a few weeks of pushing, things I've WARNED him about too, so he knows better.  Now, I didn't tackle him, but I do tell him to get away from me for both of our sakes/safety.  I've told him to go jump in a deep lake and to play in traffic.  Neither of which he'd do, but it gets to point across that I'm 'done' with his BS.  He, of course, at 15, feels he's well within his 'adult right' to say/do what he is saying/doing... I don't share that opinion.  When he came home from BFs for FD I had him sit and talk to me (or I talked to him more) and told him AGAIN, the issues I'm having. He explained his side.  I agreed with him on some points, pointed out the fault with his argument on some, and we both agreed to try again.  The thought of tackling him has entered my mind, but I know I'd break bones (I'm not skinny, I'm short but outweigh him by a great deal.. I'd hurt him and that's not really my intent.  I just want him not to be such an ASS sometimes... lol)

laughnchica
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:33 PM

And see, I understand FEELING like you want to or getting mad enough that you know you COULD but you do the adult thing and don't just DO that. You back off and cool down and figure out better ways to deal with that.This BM apparently doesn't have self control lol

Quoting jules2boys:

Um... no.  Call the carrier and have his phone turned off... NO physical voilence associated with that one.  I get that he was being disrespectful but geez, it's grass he's mowing... it's not done right he does it AGAIN and AGAIN until it is.  His loss of time.  BM went too far. 

That said, ODS is 15 and the attitude has finally kicked in.  Thus far he's truly been a pretty easy kid (compared to others) and a joy to be around... until lately... sigh.  The other day I blew up at him.  Granted if you were just walking in/by it'd have seemed like a 'no big deal, what's her problem' thing but it was the straw that I finally snapped on after a few weeks of pushing, things I've WARNED him about too, so he knows better.  Now, I didn't tackle him, but I do tell him to get away from me for both of our sakes/safety.  I've told him to go jump in a deep lake and to play in traffic.  Neither of which he'd do, but it gets to point across that I'm 'done' with his BS.  He, of course, at 15, feels he's well within his 'adult right' to say/do what he is saying/doing... I don't share that opinion.  When he came home from BFs for FD I had him sit and talk to me (or I talked to him more) and told him AGAIN, the issues I'm having. He explained his side.  I agreed with him on some points, pointed out the fault with his argument on some, and we both agreed to try again.  The thought of tackling him has entered my mind, but I know I'd break bones (I'm not skinny, I'm short but outweigh him by a great deal.. I'd hurt him and that's not really my intent.  I just want him not to be such an ASS sometimes... lol)


Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:37 PM

Unless he had a gun or other weapon and was threatening to hurt her, she had NO right to break his bone. Clearly child abuse.

LoveMy2x4
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:38 PM


She's also pregnant.....hormones maybe?? Im trying to come up with something more logical than "he didnt do it the right way"......the strange part is, she gave him his phone back like 2 minutes later.

Quoting laughnchica:

And see, I understand FEELING like you want to or getting mad enough that you know you COULD but you do the adult thing and don't just DO that. You back off and cool down and figure out better ways to deal with that.This BM apparently doesn't have self control lol

Quoting jules2boys:

Um... no.  Call the carrier and have his phone turned off... NO physical voilence associated with that one.  I get that he was being disrespectful but geez, it's grass he's mowing... it's not done right he does it AGAIN and AGAIN until it is.  His loss of time.  BM went too far. 

That said, ODS is 15 and the attitude has finally kicked in.  Thus far he's truly been a pretty easy kid (compared to others) and a joy to be around... until lately... sigh.  The other day I blew up at him.  Granted if you were just walking in/by it'd have seemed like a 'no big deal, what's her problem' thing but it was the straw that I finally snapped on after a few weeks of pushing, things I've WARNED him about too, so he knows better.  Now, I didn't tackle him, but I do tell him to get away from me for both of our sakes/safety.  I've told him to go jump in a deep lake and to play in traffic.  Neither of which he'd do, but it gets to point across that I'm 'done' with his BS.  He, of course, at 15, feels he's well within his 'adult right' to say/do what he is saying/doing... I don't share that opinion.  When he came home from BFs for FD I had him sit and talk to me (or I talked to him more) and told him AGAIN, the issues I'm having. He explained his side.  I agreed with him on some points, pointed out the fault with his argument on some, and we both agreed to try again.  The thought of tackling him has entered my mind, but I know I'd break bones (I'm not skinny, I'm short but outweigh him by a great deal.. I'd hurt him and that's not really my intent.  I just want him not to be such an ASS sometimes... lol)




Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:41 PM

If BM did that to SD, the police would have to physically restrain ME to prevent me from breaking BM's thumb. There would be a restraining order and NO contact unless supervised until BM could complete some parenting classes and anger management classes.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)