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Serious Venting....... (sorry so long)

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM
  • 18 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should she leave Medical Bills BF responsibility since they have joint custody and he pays child support?

Options:

Yes

No

She should pay it

They should pay equal


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Total Votes: 13

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Where do I even begin? It is always something with my SSs BM. It's just crazy sometimes and I dont even understand why she is like this. Well to start off with when anything ever medical happens to SS that doesn't involve his teeth BM will not take him to see the doctor. She will always have me take him. Which is ok because I don't mind at all to take him. Well the end of last year the school called BM to let her know that SS was having an asthma attack and that they have him in the office accessing him. Well She gets off the phone with the school and calls me to go get him. I was still in PJs my son was eating breakfast and needed a bath and I was just at no means ready to leave the house. But as soon as she told me what was going on I jumped up and started getting ready and flew out the house. No diaper bag nor my sons sippy cup. Well when I got to the school he was being put on the ambulance. I had no clue what to do I wanted to be with him and I had my one year old with me at the same time. I was just so shaken up because they had oxygen mask on him. Well my daughters assistant teacher saw me in the school office crying and she said she would drive me and my son to hospital to meet SS. I was in no means to drive. For those who are wondering I've been around my SS since he was one and he is now nine and is very close to my heart. On the way to the hospital I called both his BM and BF and they met us at hospital along with BMs whole intire family. They give BM paper work to fill out and she got half done writing her address and then realized that, that would be the billing address and looked at me and slowly started writing again. But anyway outcome to the hospital visit was a very bad cold causing lost of mucus. But he was fine.

That was just a summary. Here is what is very irritating.

Before I get started I know I'm only a SM and I know where I stand in his life. I've been questioned that so many times in the past. Ok, just two weeks ago I was going through my medical bills trying to figure out what bills needed to be paid first. Well I ran across one from two years ago almost that must have gotten lost. Well when BM picked up SS I asked her did she ever pay on that bill because it was going to be split in half. She said she never paid any of it and reminded me that she still owed us for his glasses that he got eight months ago but was trying to keep paying on his hospital visit listed above and ambulance fee. I told her not to worry about glasses if she will take care of hospital and she agreed that was a good idea. Here is another question I often get well BF should pay child support to help her. He does which should get thrown out because it was only to be used for insurance and daycare which niether applies any more because she doesn't carry insurance anymore and he doesn't go to daycare. But DH never got that changed. Been many times he wanted too. They have joint custody so really he doesn't have to pay. Well I decided yesterday to contact the hospital just to see how much was left on his account. I found out that she has not paid a dime on it and in January she had applied for a charity of $500 for hospital acct. The ambulance ride she has not paid any on that either. We mentioned it to her and she just acted all surpired saying she doesn't know how that got on his acct. I wasn't born yesterday and as many bills as I have had at the hospital I know how all that extra help stuff works even though we never can get it. I'm guessing she was going to say that $500 was out of her pocket. It's just every time something medical comes up she never pays on it. My DH gives her money every month that she could apply on it. maybe not all but some. She even told me that he had a payment plan on his hospital bill and when i asked they said no payment nor agreement has been made other then charity of $500. I've asked her before to take SS to doctor or to join us and she just makes up excuses not to go. She is a SAHM so work isn't holding her up. I think she is just worried that she will have to pay for something.

Ok, there goes my venting..... Sorry so long just needed to let it all out. I still fell like I'm leaving out some details but can't think of it right now.

by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:19 AM

What does the CO say?  Do they split medical 50/50?  Do they split custody 50/50?

Femommy
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Custody is 50/50 but doesn't mention anything about medical bills.

bottomline
by Silver Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:32 AM

 If they don't have a CO I suggest getting one. Until then, pay the bill so DH's credit isn't ruined. It doesn't appear bm is willing to pay any of it.

Get to a lawyer and get it in writing before you have more bills hanging over your heads. Sorry bm isn't helping out by paying her share. Some people are like that. Until you have a CO directing them to do the right thing.

Femommy
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:43 AM

 I'm afraid to get lawyers involved again. Last time we spent $12,000 in a six month period and didn't get nothing accompplised other then she can't bring SS to work with her. Which she worked at a grocery store and would leave him in an open area to the public break room. Anyone could have gotten him. It's was just an unstable situation she was in at the time and we were trying to get full custody. Her grandpa at the time was mayor of that town we were at and he had to make his appearance for a little while in court. It's always lie after lie with her and at the end she always gets what she wants. We work our butts off and still have to go down the tuff road.

 

Quoting bottomline:

 If they don't have a CO I suggest getting one. Until then, pay the bill so DH's credit isn't ruined. It doesn't appear bm is willing to pay any of it.

Get to a lawyer and get it in writing before you have more bills hanging over your heads. Sorry bm isn't helping out by paying her share. Some people are like that. Until you have a CO directing them to do the right thing.

 

 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 11:15 AM
If she qualifies for the charity then let her get it. And since she's a sahm maybe she is short on cash. I'd amend the support order.
DDDaysh
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 12:34 PM

 How does your CO not address medical bills? 

If that's really the case, and the hopsital lets her actually put Dad down as the responsible party, than ya, he's probably stuck with the bills. 

Femommy
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 4:38 PM

 Her fiance has a good paying job and I'm a SAHM myself and have been as long as her almost. Think she quit work couple months after me. Well financially they are probably doing better then we are.


Quoting faerie75:

If she qualifies for the charity then let her get it. And since she's a sahm maybe she is short on cash. I'd amend the support order.


 

Femommy
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 4:52 PM

 Not sure it's just not listened. We looked over a couple times and it doesn't state it that why my DH and SS BM agreed to pay them equally. It wasn't anything they thought about durn custody agreement eight years ago. But hospital bills went to her address not ours. So it isn't on DH. We just don't like the fact that there is money owed for him. Which if we wont paying for his $543.87 eye doctor bill, his every 6 month checkup to his family doctor $79 each, his prescriptions, and this last visit to his speicalist $336 we would be glad to pay for that too. But she is his parent too and should pay for some as well. At least I would want to pay for my childs doctor bills. If I was tight on money I would at least try and pay a little something. My DH and I have been there done that and it's not very fun. Looks like we might see times like that again soon. My DH and I have two other kids and we have been to the doctor every week with our son because of asthma again that is $79 each visit. Just last night we had to take our daughter to the ER because she scratched a bumb and it wouldn't stop bleeding without having something over it. I'm not saying BM doesn't have these problems but it would just be nice for a little assistance from his other parent. All my DH and I do is pay for our bills never buy anything extra. But everytime we drop SS off at BM they have something new. Swingset, go cart, refrigerator, car, pool, basketball goal, kids bikes, and etc...... It would just feel nice to beable to afford things too. I need a lot of upgrades in my house. But I always try and get the kids taken care of first.


Quoting DDDaysh:

 How does your CO not address medical bills? 

If that's really the case, and the hopsital lets her actually put Dad down as the responsible party, than ya, he's probably stuck with the bills. 


 

Femommy
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 4:54 PM

Not sure if anyone is familiar with BCBS HSA plans but you have to pay everything out of pocket per person till you meet your deductable. Insurance is $365 a month and deductable is $10,000. I feel like we are being eaten alive. I know it could be a lot worse but it's like we are throughing our money right out the door with insurance.

yryssa1
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 5:04 PM
it states in my DH's court order that unpaid medical bills are split in half. He pays CS and pays for insurance. His ex is under the assumption that he has to pay everything except for copays. She is starting to put our address on paperwork at Dr's visits that DH is responsible for payments. We have paid medical bills (that we are aware of) while she pays nothing. She will be in for a rude awakening when DH only pays for half of any new bill then stops. I'm glad he has the CO that proves what he is responsible for.
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