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Barely acknowledge us stepdaughter Asked again for money

Posted by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:35 PM
  • 82 Replies

My stepdaughter hasn't talked to us in a LONG time except to ask for money.   The only time that has changed was when I texted her and said Congrats on graduating high school (we weren't invited and didn't even know about the ceremony till after) When she told me OHH by the way I'm pregnant and due at the end of summer.  WTF

She didn't tell her father (my husband) but told me and asked me to tell him.  We said congrats.  And sent her a gift.    We don't have a lot of spare money we just had to replace our car.  That was over a month ago.  Today She CALLS me (the first time she has called in over 2 years).  She asks me for money from us.  $3500 to buy her a car.  She doesn't have one.  She is wanting to move in with her new fiance (the babies father) So she needs a car.  At first she said she would pay us back.  THEN she said it could be her christmas present this year WTF are you kidding me.  

SO Beyond annoyed.  She doesn't talk to us.  Call us.  And even when I told her her sisters were excited about being aunts and wanted to talk to her she STILL ignored us. 

Can she REALLY think we would and can just hand over more than 3 grand?  

What do I do. 

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hriabywx4
by Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:14 PM
2 moms liked this
What do you do? IMO nothing. Her dad needs to contact her and explain that that type of gift is not in your budget.

Rachael-Dawn
by Bronze Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow. That wouldn't be a no, that would be an oh hell no. If any of my children ever were to treat me that way I wouldn't even think twice to say no. It would be, I will help you find a job and then you can buy your own car.
Humility1
by Bronze Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Hi I think that's wry disrespectful that she only called you guys for money. Truthfully, that's disgusting and then she has the nerve to ask 3500 to purchase a car. I wouldn't hand her the money, only because she is the type that calls only if she needs anything! Plus, wow the fact that she didn't even invite you all to her graduation oh no!! I'm sorry but I'm mad for you, and I'm sorry that she is treating you like this, you don't deserve it! Why can't biomom but her a car? If dh wants to buy a car for her then that's fine but no single penny should come from you, guard your heart! Take are and God bless!
Humility1
by Bronze Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:31 PM
Actually I take that back tell your husband that you guys should not give the money to her that's way too expensive!!
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:38 PM
5 moms liked this
I would be too busy laughing my ass off...
kiriis
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:46 PM
I would leave it up to my dh.
BellaByrdie
by Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:49 PM

I don't think my husband even KNOWS what to think.  But I know it hurt him she didn't even bother to send a Text to invite us to her graduation. 

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
3 moms liked this

He could offer to match anything she's saved for the car she 'needs'.  He could tell her no, if she wants to ask for money she's welcome but he's not going to just 'give' it to someone (an adult) who doesn't have the decency to keep in touch except to ask for things. 

That said, how is it that his children have gotten to this point?  He's allowed this behavior.  He's allowed  his children to only contact him for money/things they want.   If he buys her a car now he's simply perpetuating that same behavior and he's still teaching her that it's acceptable to treat him that way.  I'm sorry, this really doesn't concern 'you', it's all on him. 

My kids would be laughed at and told NO.  You're old enough to have a kid, you're old enough to have a boyfriend to move in with, then you're certainly old enough to buy your own car.  Let me know when you'd like to treat me with respect and we'll talk again.  :) 

mrslmac
by Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:15 AM
Some "kids" have alot of nerve. She has a baby on the way she's moving in with baby daddy it sounds to me he should be responsible for her needs/wants. If she needs 3 grand that bad pregnant or not she would earn it, if I were to ever consider anything like that.
BellaByrdie
by Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:29 AM

We don't have the money to Match.  We just had to buy a car because ours broke down.  She isn't asking for some She is asking for ALL of it.  She hasn't saved a dime. 

She has been influenced by her mother.  They only have one child together and it was from a brief fling.  She has 4 kids with four different fathers.   And NONE of them have a good relationship with their father.   Her mother used to do things like send her to us for the summer with little to no clothes that would fit.  And I have heard her talk really badly about the other kids fathers in front of her kids.  So I am sure she did the same with my husband.  Since we live a 7 hours away. 

He has to say no we don't have the money for him to say yes.  And I would say it wouldn't either but She only Contacts me.  Never him.  


Quoting jules2boys:

He could offer to match anything she's saved for the car she 'needs'.  He could tell her no, if she wants to ask for money she's welcome but he's not going to just 'give' it to someone (an adult) who doesn't have the decency to keep in touch except to ask for things. 

That said, how is it that his children have gotten to this point?  He's allowed this behavior.  He's allowed  his children to only contact him for money/things they want.   If he buys her a car now he's simply perpetuating that same behavior and he's still teaching her that it's acceptable to treat him that way.  I'm sorry, this really doesn't concern 'you', it's all on him. 

My kids would be laughed at and told NO.  You're old enough to have a kid, you're old enough to have a boyfriend to move in with, then you're certainly old enough to buy your own car.  Let me know when you'd like to treat me with respect and we'll talk again.  :) 


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