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Feel so bad for my skids

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 2:56 AM
  • 9 Replies

So backstory. My DH's ex had an affair with another married man (and now current boyfriend). They both left my DH and spouse to be with each other.

BM's boyfriend ex wife is still I guess very bitter about the divorce because she has told everyone what happened including the church that my Skids attend. BM's boyfriend has two boys from his previous marriage, and my skids get along with only one of them. My oldest SS behavior has changed a lot since they moved in. He's depressed, he tells me he doesn't have any friends, and this is not the bright cheerful SS I know. I've brought this up to my DH but he is so afraid of BM flip outs that he hasn't said anything. The oldest son has been bullying all three of my skids ever since BM's boyfriend moved in with them which was a year ago. BM boyfriend's ex wife told her boys about the affair and now the oldest "stepbrother" hates BM and in turn hates my Skids. 

My 8 year old SS told me how his "stepbrother" ended up calling him a "pussy" for not wanting to go on a trail hike with him alone. My oldest SS, 13, has told me how his "stepbrother" has called him a "faggot" and pushes him, punches him, purposely provokes him so he freaks out and gets grounded.  BM goes to school during the day, and her boyfriend works over 70 hours a week so the kids are home alone a lot. BM boyfriend has his kids half the week. This kid is also disrespectful to BM and also my SD calling her fat and reducing her to tears.

My Skids come to me and tell me these things and maybe I shouldn't believe everything they say since they are kids but they also talk to my little sister a lot too and they tell her the same thing. So I think they are telling the truth.  

Basically they are just grinning and bearing it because they love their mom, but it breaks my heart. My DH has said many things to BM in the past about it but she always get defensive and tells him its none of his business.

What should DH do?  Should he attempt to broach this subject with BM or just leave it alone? I mean I'm not going to talk to BM because I want to stay out of it, but my Skids feel comfortable talking to me. This breaks my heart to no end. I just want to see them happy and healthy. :(

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 2:56 AM
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Replies (1-9):
destinyangl21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes but they sugarcoat a lot of it. They do with me too sometimes. My little sister, who they adore, they tell her everything and it comes back to me.

I have encourage all three of them to tell their mom what is really going on. My oldest stepson has actually called us a few times to come and get him because he of this punk. :( I wish there was more that I could do.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 8:00 AM

It's a tough situation because if your DH talks to her, she will feel like he's being critical of her new family.

I would encourage your SS's to talk to a guidance counselor at school. Althoug, I realize it's summer now.. 


dolphingurl1286
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this
He needs to talk to her. His kids are his business.
Chibi_Kitten
by Krystal on Jun. 23, 2013 at 10:31 AM

 I would like to know how his kids are none of his business.

packermomof2
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:35 PM

My daughter finally just told her father she and her brother weren't coming back over because their SB's and mom did nothing to stop the violence and abuse.  Their father defended it every time.  That is what it took for it stop - my ex agreed at first, thinking the kids were just going through a phase nad would come around.  2 months after that he called begging them to come over and they said no, not with those people there.  He picked them over his kids (it got to the point of death threats, but there was violence, insults, name calling, lying)... now he has no wife, no SK's, and it's been 4 years since the kids have had an overnight with him.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:47 PM

God that breaks my heart for your kids :( Poor babies!


Quoting packermomof2:

My daughter finally just told her father she and her brother weren't coming back over because their SB's and mom did nothing to stop the violence and abuse.  Their father defended it every time.  That is what it took for it stop - my ex agreed at first, thinking the kids were just going through a phase nad would come around.  2 months after that he called begging them to come over and they said no, not with those people there.  He picked them over his kids (it got to the point of death threats, but there was violence, insults, name calling, lying)... now he has no wife, no SK's, and it's been 4 years since the kids have had an overnight with him.



faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:31 PM
My SO would flip out if his kids were being picked on and BM didn't do shit.
destinyangl21
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:50 PM

He has in the past but it always blown up in his face. BM gets really defensive and then tells my DH what a shitty father he is and just freaks out.  BM then tells my Skids that they are not talk about what goes on in that house with their dad. So in turn they tell me.

 I feel like my hands are tied, especially for my oldest SS. He is the one bearing the brunt of it.


Quoting faerie75:

My SO would flip out if his kids were being picked on and BM didn't do shit.


 

Rachael-Dawn
by Bronze Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Maybe he should try and gather some proof and take it to court. This is awful. I'm so sorry for those poor babies.
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