So backstory. My DH's ex had an affair with another married man (and now current boyfriend). They both left my DH and spouse to be with each other.
BM's boyfriend ex wife is still I guess very bitter about the divorce because she has told everyone what happened including the church that my Skids attend. BM's boyfriend has two boys from his previous marriage, and my skids get along with only one of them. My oldest SS behavior has changed a lot since they moved in. He's depressed, he tells me he doesn't have any friends, and this is not the bright cheerful SS I know. I've brought this up to my DH but he is so afraid of BM flip outs that he hasn't said anything. The oldest son has been bullying all three of my skids ever since BM's boyfriend moved in with them which was a year ago. BM boyfriend's ex wife told her boys about the affair and now the oldest "stepbrother" hates BM and in turn hates my Skids.
My 8 year old SS told me how his "stepbrother" ended up calling him a "pussy" for not wanting to go on a trail hike with him alone. My oldest SS, 13, has told me how his "stepbrother" has called him a "faggot" and pushes him, punches him, purposely provokes him so he freaks out and gets grounded. BM goes to school during the day, and her boyfriend works over 70 hours a week so the kids are home alone a lot. BM boyfriend has his kids half the week. This kid is also disrespectful to BM and also my SD calling her fat and reducing her to tears.
My Skids come to me and tell me these things and maybe I shouldn't believe everything they say since they are kids but they also talk to my little sister a lot too and they tell her the same thing. So I think they are telling the truth.
Basically they are just grinning and bearing it because they love their mom, but it breaks my heart. My DH has said many things to BM in the past about it but she always get defensive and tells him its none of his business.
What should DH do? Should he attempt to broach this subject with BM or just leave it alone? I mean I'm not going to talk to BM because I want to stay out of it, but my Skids feel comfortable talking to me. This breaks my heart to no end. I just want to see them happy and healthy. :(