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My step daugther stole from my daughter!

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:04 AM
  • 26 Replies
Moms I need some advice! My 12 year old stepdaughter got in trouble tonight and her dad took her phone away from her. We are the kind of parents who believe that if we have to go through a bedroom or phone or whatever in order to make sure that our kids are being responsible and safe then so be it. When my husband was going through her text messages between her and her mom he found a conversation about her stealing a ring from my other daughter. The ring btw is silver and has WWJD on it. Any way her mom told her, basically, that she hopes she doesn't get caught and get in trouble. WHAT!!! I was in shock that a mother would condone her child stealing, no matter how small of an item, from anyone. My husband is planning on asking them about it tomorrow when she comes to pick the kids up. Any advice?
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 6:59 AM

Did your DD tell you that the ring was missing? Did she have such a ring? first I would establish that the ring existed, and that it did indeed go missing. Then I'd tell SD I read her text message in which she claimed she stole the ring, and I'd ask her where it is.

I would not address anything with her mom at all, or mention her mom in the conversation.

Panda113
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:16 AM
I agree, leave BM out of it. Sounds like DH already addressed it by taking away the phone. Cases closed. Don't beat a dead horse.
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this

I would first confirm the act then I would do exactly what my best friend did when her son stole from her.  She took her son to the police station to let them have a chat about stealing. 

I agree about not addressing BM, she only made the situation worse by not condemming the stealing.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:29 AM

I'd check with your dd first to see if she's missing a ring.  Then I'd only tell BM to let her know that dd stole something from her stepsister, so she's grounded from her cellphone for x amount of days if I were your DH.  I wouldn't mention the text.  I'd just let BM assume that the text was seen and nothing more...because you know your SD will tell her that dad took her phone away from her. 

bottomline
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:11 PM
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 Get confirmation that something was stolen. Kids tell stories sometimes that end up being just that...stories. If the ring was stolen, DH needs to address SD and follow up with punishment of some kind.

As far as bm, she sounds like a dream! lol  I would mention the stealing, but not her agreeing to it. I mean what could you possibly say to her that would make a difference? She is a grown woman and if she steals, she is not your issue. She's a pathetic role model for her child, but not your issue to correct. Don't waste your time.

Zee08
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:38 PM

When my SD lived with us she stole from my daughter all the time. My daughter worked since she was old enough to and would buy things for herself. SD did not think it was fair my daughter had what she did not. When SD was asked to leave my home due to being very disrepectful and not wanting to follow the rules, we had to go through all her stuff and take back what was my daughter's. I was a nightmare. 

Rae706
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Doesn't sound all that crazy on the 12 year old's part.  I mean obviously she should get a stern talking to and some punishments, but the crazy part is BM! WTF? What a freaking loser!!!!

Rae706
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:47 PM
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I'd totally call her out!  That is some unbelievably trashy behavior! At least she would know that the OP and DH knew what kind of person she was... she may even be embarassed. Maybe.

Quoting bottomline:

 Get confirmation that something was stolen. Kids tell stories sometimes that end up being just that...stories. If the ring was stolen, DH needs to address SD and follow up with punishment of some kind.

As far as bm, she sounds like a dream! lol  I would mention the stealing, but not her agreeing to it. I mean what could you possibly say to her that would make a difference? She is a grown woman and if she steals, she is not your issue. She's a pathetic role model for her child, but not your issue to correct. Don't waste your time.



bottomline
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:38 PM

 It would prove nothing. IMO it's a huge waste of time and just a potential argument. Which doesn't address the real "thief" in this case, no recover the ring. It won't prevent bm from acting the same way in future circumstances nor change her behavior, it might even make things worse.

Quoting Rae706:

 

I'd totally call her out!  That is some unbelievably trashy behavior! At least she would know that the OP and DH knew what kind of person she was... she may even be embarassed. Maybe.

Quoting bottomline:

 Get confirmation that something was stolen. Kids tell stories sometimes that end up being just that...stories. If the ring was stolen, DH needs to address SD and follow up with punishment of some kind.

As far as bm, she sounds like a dream! lol  I would mention the stealing, but not her agreeing to it. I mean what could you possibly say to her that would make a difference? She is a grown woman and if she steals, she is not your issue. She's a pathetic role model for her child, but not your issue to correct. Don't waste your time.

 

 

 

MrsMiles85
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:41 PM

We would be sitting down with both of them and they would be getting her ring back.  Telling her to not get caught?  Wow, mother of the year.

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