Within the last year or so, SS13 has become increasingly more difficult, disrespectful, bad attitude, bad mouth and a bad bully to my 3 younger bio kids. I can't stand it when he comes to visit, he creates such a negative vibe in the household. I came to this forum a few months ago seeking advice and several members here suggested to completely disengage and let my DH handle him, which I have done. When SS is here I am very withdrawn, my DH doesn't leave SS alone with me anymore, he always takes him with him even if it's just a quick errand to the store. That has actually helped DH and SS spend more time together and build a better bond. I completely leave disciplining to DH, which he is good about staying on SS for bad behaviour. So far it has been working out pretty good.
Well, the school year has ended and now instead of getting EEW, we are supposed to have him every alternating 2 weeks. My DH works during the week and doesn't get home til around 5:30 so this means I will be here all day with difficult SS as well as my 3 kids which are a handful themselves. BM used to make us fight tooth and nail just to get any visitation time, but now that SS is older and harder to handle, she cannot WAIT to dump him on us. That bothers me too. Is it wrong of me to feel like I shouldn't be the one stuck with him all day when DH is at work and BM lives only 10 min a day? When I brought it up, DH got pissed and said I should suck it up because we are married and it's his kid and I should just watch him while he's at work.
Am I wrong in not wanting to be SS's babysitter all day and deal with his behavior issues. Shouldn't his own mother be handling it if DH isn't around? I feel like everyone is trying to dump him on me. He's disrespectful, a bully and he makes life miserable. He's a horrible influence on my kids as well. Talks about lesbians and sex and sperm to the 8 year old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWYD?