Ok, our sitch has always been a little sticky. DH and BM share 50/50 of SD11. They have gone by this arrangement for a few years now. Now that SD is getting older, she's talking to us (DH and I) alot more about her situation at BM's house. She's been very open and honest with us and she's not very happy at BM's house. There are numerous accounts that she has told us; she doesn't like SF- so much so that when BM left her in his care not too long ago, SD climbed a tree and wouldn't come down until SF called BM and BM had to go get her out of the tree; she feels like a guest in her BM's house; she doesn't like the fact that BM and SF tell her not to do something and then they turn around and do it; she doesn't like how SF will follow her around reciting bible verses at her as does BM; and so on. There are alot more but these are just a few in order not to type a novel.
BM is pushing SD away from her and her family. It's very apparent to me and DH, even my MIL has said something to my DH about it because of what SD tells her. It makes me sad. I have my DD and if she ever thought or felt what my SD has told us, then it would devestate me. SD has said that she's tried talking to BM about issues, but BM doesn't really listen to her and nothing really ever happens to improve the situation.
I am debating on whether to try to talk to BM about it and let her know what is going on, or just leave it alone and BM will eventually totally push SD away. SD has already made statements to MIL and even to DH that when she turns 12, her BM might be really sad because she won't live with her anymore. As a mom that just makes me sad.
What do you guys think? Should I try to approach BM about it or just leave it alone?