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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

What problems do you face being a stepmom?

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 7:00 PM
  • 14 Replies

And what do you do about them?  I've recently noticed that my stepdaughter tells lies quite a bit.  I told her dad about it.  Let me give you an example.  We went to a flea market because we wanted to get out of the house.  The kids were all picking out one toy.  The man running that particular booth came over and asked me to please have my daughter stop opening the merchandise.  She was just sitting there opening up the light up pacifiers like it was nobody's business.  Then came the lies.  She told her dad that she didn't do it period, it was my daughter.  The same guy who told me in the first place about what she was doing, when I got up to the counter, told me that he wasn't trying to be rude but that she was outright lying.  When asked again she says she just wanted to see which ones worked.  She's 10, she's old enough to know better.  But this is what comes out of my husbands mouth "you know being black the white people in there are going to watch every move you make".  Okay, not saying this doesn't happen but what about not playing the race card and having her own up to what she just did wrong.  Am I horrible for this? This is just one example of a long string of things that have happened but I'll stop here before I bore all of you to tears.

by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 7:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
spicy0425
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I am lucky enough to know my SD when she was 4 yrs old==> young enough to be taught what is right and what is wrong. When I spent time with her, if she lied, I'd stop everything and told her that I'd rather her to tell the true than lying. Her dad and I repeatedly tell her that we don't support lying and if we find out that she'd lie, she'd be in for some punishment i.e. ground her, not let her go to play date ...etc..so she knows not to lie. Until now, but when she is at the other house, it is a different story. We constantly enfore our rules because sometimes she "modify the true" to get what she wants.

MrsMiles85
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 10:55 AM

Exactly.  I love how you reinforce constantly.  Good idea! 


Quoting spicy0425:

I am lucky enough to know my SD when she was 4 yrs old==> young enough to be taught what is right and what is wrong. When I spent time with her, if she lied, I'd stop everything and told her that I'd rather her to tell the true than lying. Her dad and I repeatedly tell her that we don't support lying and if we find out that she'd lie, she'd be in for some punishment i.e. ground her, not let her go to play date ...etc..so she knows not to lie. Until now, but when she is at the other house, it is a different story. We constantly enfore our rules because sometimes she "modify the true" to get what she wants.


 

KaylynnRose
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 11:14 AM
1 mom liked this

The hardest part about being a step-mom for me is having to put up with the boys' birth mother. She's not around, and rarely shows interest in seeing them... but when she decides to care about them and asks their father if she can see them, it's the biggest pain in my ass. The kids don't know what kind of person she is - all they know is that "that's mommy" and they want to see her. She's like a super hero to them. I love the boys, and I know that they should be able to see their mom... I just wish they understood what a terrible person she is. The fact that they're so young makes it harder because I know that they're too young to be told what happened between their father and her. Their father (my boyfriend) has decided that when they're older, and if they ask, he'll explain to them what happened, but until then we both just have to deal with it. Technically, their father has full custody and their mother only has visitation for a few hours on a certain day, but he is nice enough to let them see her for longer when she makes an effort. We've decided that even though we wish she was out of the picture completely, we should allow the boys to see her so that they don't resent either of us in the future for keeping them from her. We kind of want them to find out on their own what kind of person she is. But until then we've got to put up with it. It gets so frustrating.

LoveMy2x4
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 11:31 AM
3 moms liked this

A problem I face as a stepmom is FOOD. I went from a family of 3 to a family of 8. And damn, these kids can EAT! There's never enough food!!

momofjkkc
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't have a problem with my girls. I just wish we had them more often. The oldest works and goes to college but comes out when she can. And we live too far away for the youngest to come out every other week. Neither side can afford the gas. I guess I am greatful we all get along.
MrsMiles85
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 1:41 PM

Oh mama, I hear ya there! 


Quoting LoveMy2x4:

A problem I face as a stepmom is FOOD. I went from a family of 3 to a family of 8. And damn, these kids can EAT! There's never enough food!!


 

Graceplustwo
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
My biggest problem is bm thinking i'm a built in Baby sitter because im a sahm. I love watching skids but not when it is expected of me. But my dh always defends and makes sure nothing happens that we do not agree on together. Shes just lucky I like having them around and im not the type to be like. No im not watching Your kids lol. They are pretty easy to watch too. Good kids
MrsMiles85
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 5:16 PM

Exactly, I can understand that frustration.  I'm glad that your dh steps in like that, go him! 


Quoting Graceplustwo:

My biggest problem is bm thinking i'm a built in Baby sitter because im a sahm. I love watching skids but not when it is expected of me. But my dh always defends and makes sure nothing happens that we do not agree on together. Shes just lucky I like having them around and im not the type to be like. No im not watching Your kids lol. They are pretty easy to watch too. Good kids


 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 5:21 PM
The problems I have are the skids are here A LOT on moms time, I don't mind extra time but they are here like most of the time and I go broke trying to feed them all and I get overwhelmed. Also lately SO is always trippin over the skids. It's like our whole life is spent worrying about them cuz their mom is in a crappy relationship and makes poor decisions. Lately I feel he isn't enjoying our happy stress free life cuz of stressing over that dumb bitch. Can you tell I'm annoyed?
Panda113
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 5:31 PM
I'm going with something along the lines of this. Legally, DH has 50/50. In reality, DH has SD 6 days out of 7. So on the one kid free day we have, he spends it either worried/stressed about SD's well being or bummed because he misses her.


Quoting faerie75:

The problems I have are the skids are here A LOT on moms time, I don't mind extra time but they are here like most of the time and I go broke trying to feed them all and I get overwhelmed. Also lately SO is always trippin over the skids. It's like our whole life is spent worrying about them cuz their mom is in a crappy relationship and makes poor decisions. Lately I feel he isn't enjoying our happy stress free life cuz of stressing over that dumb bitch. Can you tell I'm annoyed?

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