How do I support my SO when things with SD and BM are crazy? I feel like I should be doing something to help fix it...but there really isn't anything I can do. I just hate to see him go through the crap they put him through.
Basically BM has raised SD to be a spoiled brat...when she doesn't get things her way, she throws a fit (or has a meltdown as BM calls them)...I have a daughter on the austism spectrum and to hear her call SD's tantrums a meltdown just irks me.
SO has SD Tuesday evening and last night...Tuesday evening they spent their time playing with her new magic kit and having fun. I was actually not feeling well, and spent the night napping. So last night, she's over, they watch a little bit of a movie together, and we have dinner (which is a whole different kettle of fish!), and he suggests going to the yogurt place. She is all excited until he mentions me going. She cops her usual attitude for the rest of the night.
He gets home after dropping her off at BMs, and she has already called him yelling at him for not doing anything with his daughter. "All she wanted was to spend time with you"...blah blah blah...we hear this every so often. He does spend 1:1 time with her at least once a week, but we are not going to cater to her need to be taken somewhere everytime she is here. I have made sure from the beginning that they take the time to do things just the two of them.
She is yelling at him for never doing anything with SD (bullshit), always having to do things with my kids along, not fixing anything she likes to eat, yada yada yada. My kids are with us every other week (50/50 with my ex), and yes, we do things as a family. Funny thing is, she seems to have a good time too, until she gets back with BM. (She is the same age as my 2 girls).
As for not fixing anything she likes to eat...she will not eat ANYTHING. 9 times out of 10, she eats at her grandma's before he picks her up anyway. I stopped trying to plan my meals around someone who won't eat anything or try anything new (just like BM).
He tries his hardest to counter the negative influences of BM (and her mother and GM)...but SD has always been made to believe she was the center of the universe. The biggest difference now I guess is that BM isn't here to tell her yes when dad says no.
BM believes that SD should make all the decisions and get to do whatever she wants. Even as far to say to him, "well, I'll see if she wants to come over". It's frustrating how she thinks she can control what happens in our home.
I guess I just needed to vent more than anything :) But how do I help him when he is obviously hurt?