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What was your reaction when you found out..... UPDATE*

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:41 AM
  • 150 Replies
1 mom liked this

....your ex was having another baby? If anyone has been in a situation where your ex was having another child, what was your reaction? Were you angry? annoyed? sad? didn't give a shit? lol I'm just curious as to how it was for you?? Also, if there is anyone who was on the other side (you are the one having or had the new baby) and wants to share their story as well about the BM or BD's reaction in your situation. I know everyone is different and every situation is different, I'd just like to hear some stories on how this played out for you and your family.


*UPDATE: Ok, so this weekend we decided to make our news public knowledge for everything. FB official, BM official. I convinced SO that it would be best if he told her directly rather than letting her find out through the kids or another 3rd party, I had been reading alot about Co-parenting for Divorced people and that was something that was said in more than one article I read. So he texted her:

SO: I just wanted to let you know that Chelse and I are having a baby. We told the kids. But I thought I would let you know too.

BM: Oh wow awesome

SO: yeah.

BM: How far along is she?

SO: 8 weeks.

BM: Oh cool. I think it's gonna be a girl. How are the kids with it? and this is another reason why we all need to continue to get along.

So answered about the kids etc. Then she texted me congratulating me and we talked about a few other things etc. I feel better that she didn't blow up about it. Although, I'm not so sure she in 100% genuine in being so "good" about it or not... but I'll take it for now. I feel alot better that its out in the open and that she didn't freak. I know I shouldn't have cared either way, but I just didnt want it to negatively effect the kids or my SO.


by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JoleneMcKenzie
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:44 AM
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My ex has not had anymore children and probably never will (he's a real douch) and I have not had any more children and probably never will (got my hands full already) but my husband's ex wife just gave birth. Not sure if that counts. I think my husband was alright with it though. He had moved on (to me!) and doesn't hate his ex wife's new husband. I have seen the baby but never held him. 

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:48 AM
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My ex-husband has one new baby and his wife is expecting their second.

My first reaction was a bit of jealousy, because I wanted more children when I got married to my now-husband, but he didnt' want any more... plus I was 40 years old already, and so I gave in pretty easily to the decision not to have another child. But I think on some level, I wish I had been able to have more children than just the two that ex and I had together.

My second reaction was - wow, my ex (then about 53 years old), was going to have to go through all that baby stuff at a time in his life when he should be free to do what he wants. I am free to do what i want, my DH and I go on vacations, sleep late, spend our money on ourselves... my ex can't do any of that for several more years now that he has a baby (and soon, a second).  He will be 73 years old when his second baby graduates from high school.  No thanks! LOL

I had a third reaction too - that is, his wife (who is in her early 40's), tried to have a baby for several years. She finally got pregnant using in vitro and donor eggs. I am always happy when people who have been trying to get pregnant, finally succeed. So I think it's great for her that she was finally able to become a mother, which my ex had told me, was really important to her.

There you have it - those were all my reactions.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:49 AM
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When BM is absent out of your mind and life....none of that should matter one iota.

Pero3
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, ex didn't have another baby, but has acquired two skids he considers "his"! What was my reaction? Worry ... and with hindsight I had good reason to feel that way!

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:52 AM
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I started laughing.

I only had one child, always wanted another one, but it never worked out that way.  I'm not super disappointed about it...it's just part of life.

momofjkkc
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I had a baby with my dh. His ex had no problem with it. If she did she didnt say anything. I've said in other posts, she asks us to take for a few days over the.summer. She buys him Christmas presents and he gets her one. I see no problem with it. She trusts me with her kids and I trust her with mine.
mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:53 AM
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I was pissed the f off. Mostly because I was already pregnant with his child and he lied about everything to do with the pregnancy not to mention he was cheating on me. Or that both of us (me and the other mom) were very young. Bm on the other hand didn't seem to care that we had another kid just tried to use it as an excuse to not take sd. She said dh wanted sd and the baby to bond to her family. A bunch of lies I told her that she wasn't allowed to make my new born an excuse for not being a parent.
Shiselle
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:59 AM
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Well my DH first wife was happy for us, we have a good relationship. Second wife lmfao she is jelous. She did not allow my husband to see his dd before and now she txts him and pushes the fact that he needs to see her. She also writes on FB (or so i been told. we both have comon friends since we went to HS together) that bitch's baby will not replace her dd. 

Ms.Gwen
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Never been in the sitch so it's hard to say? I am mostly through getting certified to foster so my comment comes from that sitch.... I'm not concerned about BMs thoughts or feelings about it. She pretends I don't exist so I guess she will pretend my foster kids don't exist either? I'm cool with that. Only thing that worries me at all with the whole SM gig is ; how will my skids react?
ChelseNichole
by Chelse on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:04 AM

Wow. I'm with you. I always feel happy when people who have been trying for awhile finally get the baby they really want. My cousin found out she was pregnant a week before I did after nearly a year of trying. I have endometriosis, as does my cousin, and that can sometimes affect fertility. I also had cervical cancer 3 years ago which resulted in a surgery which could have weakened my cervix so it may not be strong enough to even hold a baby in and a few others things. I'm 25 and I didn't want to wait TOO long to start trying in the even that it took awhile to concieve due to my medical issues and my family history. Like you said, your ex will be old when his kids graduate and I really didn't want that for myself LOL. All I kept thinking is if I wait two more years and if it takes that long to concieve, I'll be in my 30's and that's pushing it for me. Luckily, I didn't have any trouble concieving.

I'm a little worried about BM's reaction. Part of me thinks why would she even care... we didn't when she got engaged. (and her fiance is a scumbag. drug involvement, has stolen repeatedly from SS14 etc) and anther part of me thinks there is no possible way she wont have some reaction. I've read on here that people have experiences that the BM tells the kids they're being replaced etc. I dont think she would do that, but i really hope not. She is very money driven and I think her biggest problem is going to be that in our state its an automatic adjustment to child support when a new child is born. I'm afraid she will think we got pregnant on purpose JUST to reduce CS...in reality that was the last thought on our mind. I want to be a Mom and due to my issues, we are doing it sooner than later and that's really it.

Quoting whatIknownow:

My ex-husband has one new baby and his wife is expecting their second.

My first reaction was a bit of jealousy, because I wanted more children when I got married to my now-husband, but he didnt' want any more... plus I was 40 years old already, and so I gave in pretty easily to the decision not to have another child. But I think on some level, I wish I had been able to have more children than just the two that ex and I had together.

My second reaction was - wow, my ex (then about 53 years old), was going to have to go through all that baby stuff at a time in his life when he should be free to do what he wants. I am free to do what i want, my DH and I go on vacations, sleep late, spend our money on ourselves... my ex can't do any of that for several more years now that he has a baby (and soon, a second).  He will be 73 years old when his second baby graduates from high school.  No thanks! LOL

I had a third reaction too - that is, his wife (who is in her early 40's), tried to have a baby for several years. She finally got pregnant using in vitro and donor eggs. I am always happy when people who have been trying to get pregnant, finally succeed. So I think it's great for her that she was finally able to become a mother, which my ex had told me, was really important to her.

There you have it - those were all my reactions.


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