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Sort of creepy dude...and skids. WWYD?

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:15 PM
  • 12 Replies

My SDs are 13 and 15.

I met a guy at our neighborhood pool who happens to be on the Board of Directors for our HOA (a large one) and who has a possible contract opportunity for me in my field.

He asked me to send him my resume.  I did.  His response back was either very eccentric or he was high on something.  Not sure.  Sent it to my DH and he thought it was weird too but then he added, "Lots of developers/programmers are weird."

So...The guy emailed me again about talking through his project and wanted to meet in person either at his house or mine.

1)  I don't want to go to his house alone, especially if my DH isn't home and aware that I'm at this guy's house.

2) I don't want to bring him into our home with the girls here.  I would feel more comfortable having him here where I've got some backup just in case but I don't think I even want him to really know that i've got teeenaged step daughters.  Something about the guy pings my radar a bit.

Would YOU let someone like that pop on over for a "business meeting"?  Or just say no way?


FWIW, I told him I'd prefer to have the initial chat via phone.  I really want to pick up some work, but not if it makes me or the kids feel skeeved out.

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Polkadotted
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:20 PM

Is he weird in like an aspergery way?  I agree a lot of programmers are different like that. I'd say your place, but have the girls stay in the back.

Why don't you offer to meet at the library or a coffee shop?

babygirlsmom314
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:23 PM
2 moms liked this

I would suggest meeting at a coffee shop.

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:24 PM


Quoting Polkadotted:

Is he weird in like an aspergery way?  I agree a lot of programmers are different like that. I'd say your place, but have the girls stay in the back.

Why don't you offer to meet at the library or a coffee shop?

This.

Polkadotted
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:25 PM

don't let him think the coffee shop is a date though.

Quoting Polkadotted:

Is he weird in like an aspergery way?  I agree a lot of programmers are different like that. I'd say your place, but have the girls stay in the back.

Why don't you offer to meet at the library or a coffee shop?


newstepmom61811
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:26 PM

Neutral email back:

"Thank you for the opportunity, find personal homes too distracting and informal for work related issues to be productive, would like to meet at ______ (location), at ____(time), and (date)." And pick a neutral public location ie. quiet coffee shop with wi-fi, or restaurant known for business lunches...

I support you, I would never let anyone I'm uncomfortable with in my home or get me alone in theirs...politely suggest a business appropriate locale and just make it sound like that's where you work best.

ChelseNichole
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

This.

Quoting newstepmom61811:

Neutral email back:

"Thank you for the opportunity, find personal homes too distracting and informal for work related issues to be productive, would like to meet at ______ (location), at ____(time), and (date)." And pick a neutral public location ie. quiet coffee shop with wi-fi, or restaurant known for business lunches...

I support you, I would never let anyone I'm uncomfortable with in my home or get me alone in theirs...politely suggest a business appropriate locale and just make it sound like that's where you work best.


Birdseed
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:30 PM


Hmm...not Aspergy per se.  Just kind of fruity.  I dunno.  I realize that I am kind of sensitive to weirdness with men especially given my PTSD deal but if i am pinging then I sure as heck don't want him here with me and the kids without DH.  KWIM?

At this point, he doesn't even know I have teen SDs and frankly, I'd like to keep it that way.

Quoting Polkadotted:

Is he weird in like an aspergery way?  I agree a lot of programmers are different like that. I'd say your place, but have the girls stay in the back.

Why don't you offer to meet at the library or a coffee shop?



Birdseed
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:33 PM

To clarify...he is developing a piece of software and wants to show me the db, the functionality, etc. I asked for the db schema, supporting docs, blah blah.  But he doesn't have much of that documented because he's a programmer and not a project manager/trainer type like me. LOL

So I think he wants to show me stuff on his computer.  Which is fine.  And since we literally live on the same street, it may seem silly to suggest a coffee shop but I still have a weird feeling about meeting up w/ him alone.  And normally, I'm cool w/ strangers.  Plus, I really need/want a different job.  But I'm not hip to putting the kids in the mix I guess.

OvrMyHead
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:33 PM

 I agree, meet at Starbucks.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:35 PM
I have dealt with a lot of tech types and programmers...most of them were awkward or say excentric shit. Meet him in a public place. You can't really tell if he's creepy or just socially awkward through email or over the phone.


Quoting Birdseed:

My SDs are 13 and 15.

I met a guy at our neighborhood pool who happens to be on the Board of Directors for our HOA (a large one) and who has a possible contract opportunity for me in my field.

He asked me to send him my resume.  I did.  His response back was either very eccentric or he was high on something.  Not sure.  Sent it to my DH and he thought it was weird too but then he added, "Lots of developers/programmers are weird."

So...The guy emailed me again about talking through his project and wanted to meet in person either at his house or mine.

1)  I don't want to go to his house alone, especially if my DH isn't home and aware that I'm at this guy's house.

2) I don't want to bring him into our home with the girls here.  I would feel more comfortable having him here where I've got some backup just in case but I don't think I even want him to really know that i've got teeenaged step daughters.  Something about the guy pings my radar a bit.

Would YOU let someone like that pop on over for a "business meeting"?  Or just say no way?


FWIW, I told him I'd prefer to have the initial chat via phone.  I really want to pick up some work, but not if it makes me or the kids feel skeeved out.


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