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Wth is bm thinking?!?! Update!!!!

Posted by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM
  • 30 Replies
I'm just days away from giving birth. Dh & I 1st bio. Bm & I do not get along anymore. Her sick threats against me & my unborn baby have gotten so bad that I had to file a order of protection against her.
Sd9 who has started getting nasty towards me & baby so I was surprised when dh showed me a txt from sd asking him to bring the baby to her for a park date. Sd lives 3 hrs round trip and I plan to breast feed. Dh said I would have to go. Sd didn't like that. So dh said I will pick u up and bring u to the hospital to meet baby.
Sd called back and said "MOMMY WANTS TO COME TO THE HOSPITAL" wth is bm thinking. She comes near me & she's violating the order. What bm would ever want to intrude on such a personal time between me & dh. I don't ever want that crazy woman near my defenseless baby!
We are relocating 1300 miles away 1 after baby gets here so I want dh to spend time with sd. But there's no way I will allow my newborn to go 3 hrs driving and a few hrs at a park without me. For gods sake she's going to need to be fed and only I can. Further more bm has threatened harm on my baby I don't trust bm isn't setting up dh to get her hands on my baby and follow through with the threats!

Update. After bm volunteering 5x to bring sd she finally got it through her head and agreed to let dh get sd for the day!!!! She kept digging for info. And then said "I don't mind going I know what it's like to have a baby alone" she had an emergency c-section that dh didn't get to hospital in time for. Whatever. At least plans are made and its a good compromise.
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LoveMy2x4
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:06 PM

What did your DH say when SD told him that BM wanted to go to the hospital?

ramita
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:08 PM
I don't blame you for wanting to keep the BM from the baby, bit is there anyway you could go with your DH, but keep your distance except for feeding? I know you said SD didn't want you there at all, but maybe this will be a good compromise. Although she is only 9 so I think what your DH wants is what should happen and if he wants you near then you should be.

As far as BM being at the hospital, I guess if it came down to it and this is the only way it works out then you could talk to the nurses and see if they can help y'all set up something to were BM can bring your SD, but keep her distance from you and your baby.
suzysdaughter
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:09 PM
Trying to keep the peace he said. "The baby isn't here yet we will talk about this tomorrow" it was 1030pm he told her to go to bed and not worry.
leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:11 PM
2 moms liked this

The question is 'WTH is your husband thinking?'? If Dad wants to see his DD, especially with his planned move, he should really go himself and leave the baby with you at home.

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this
People seem to get crazy when it comes to a new baby. Can sd come for a visit for a few days after the baby is born?

suzysdaughter
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:15 PM
I have np with them doing their thing and baby & I in the back round. But seriously what is a newborn going to do at a park/playground. We are moving 1 week after she's born. So she will only be a few days old when this play date happens. There are germs other kids etc. plus we are in Florida rt now it's so hot I can't have her out in the sun for long.
There is absolutely no way on this green earth I will do anything to compromise bm to meet my baby. No way the threats of harm she has made towards the baby has us staying in a diff location from birth till we get the green light from doctors to move back north. Should be around 7 days.


Quoting ramita:

I don't blame you for wanting to keep the BM from the baby, bit is there anyway you could go with your DH, but keep your distance except for feeding? I know you said SD didn't want you there at all, but maybe this will be a good compromise. Although she is only 9 so I think what your DH wants is what should happen and if he wants you near then you should be.



As far as BM being at the hospital, I guess if it came down to it and this is the only way it works out then you could talk to the nurses and see if they can help y'all set up something to were BM can bring your SD, but keep her distance from you and your baby.
suzysdaughter
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:18 PM
That's what I would love to happen. Under no circumstance do I want sd to miss out on meeting her sister. Sd & I were sooooo close. She used to tell me she secretly prayed every night for me & daddy to have a baby. I want her to be a part of this. But bm scares me. She has mental issues and I don't think she has any business wanting "to meet our baby"

Quoting OvrMyHead:

People seem to get crazy when it comes to a new baby. Can sd come for a visit for a few days after the baby is born?



ramita
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Trust me I didn't mean BM meeting your baby. I meant BM bringing SD to the hospital and then being 'close by' so when SD ready to go they can leave, but not being 'there' with you and your baby.

I get the park thing, didn't realize you were in Florida, I'm in Louisiana so I know how hot it can be. I'm not sure where else, besides the hospital, that your SD could meet her sister except at your home, and from the sounds of it that's out of the question. I guess just have DH bring lots of pictures of the baby and let SD pick a few of them to keep if she wants. That way they could also spend more time together than they could if he had the baby with him.


Quoting suzysdaughter:

I have np with them doing their thing and baby & I in the back round. But seriously what is a newborn going to do at a park/playground. We are moving 1 week after she's born. So she will only be a few days old when this play date happens. There are germs other kids etc. plus we are in Florida rt now it's so hot I can't have her out in the sun for long.

There is absolutely no way on this green earth I will do anything to compromise bm to meet my baby. No way the threats of harm she has made towards the baby has us staying in a diff location from birth till we get the green light from doctors to move back north. Should be around 7 days.




Quoting ramita:

I don't blame you for wanting to keep the BM from the baby, bit is there anyway you could go with your DH, but keep your distance except for feeding? I know you said SD didn't want you there at all, but maybe this will be a good compromise. Although she is only 9 so I think what your DH wants is what should happen and if he wants you near then you should be.





As far as BM being at the hospital, I guess if it came down to it and this is the only way it works out then you could talk to the nurses and see if they can help y'all set up something to were BM can bring your SD, but keep her distance from you and your baby.

suzysdaughter
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Sd is the one who wants to meet the baby. Dh is trying to make everyone happy esp sd. If he goes to get her they can spend the day together come to the hospital to see the baby & then have dinner just the 2 of them etc he me & sd want her to know her sister she was happy about baby at 1st. She used to tell me she secretly prayed every night for dh & I to have a baby. Her disliking me has only started over the last few months. When she's with bm she hates me. When she's with dh she crud and apologizes to me for being mean. She's a poor little girl trapped trying to please both parents.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

The question is 'WTH is your husband thinking?'? If Dad wants to see his DD, especially with his planned move, he should really go himself and leave the baby with you at home.

suzysdaughter
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:26 PM
If dh picks up sd like he always has that gives them 3 hrs in the car they can visit the baby then spend the day 1 on 1. Have dinner just the 2 of them and spend tons of daddy daughter time. We are moving they need time just the 2 of them.

Quoting ramita:

Trust me I didn't mean BM meeting your baby. I meant BM bringing SD to the hospital and then being 'close by' so when SD ready to go they can leave, but not being 'there' with you and your baby.



I get the park thing, didn't realize you were in Florida, I'm in Louisiana so I know how hot it can be. I'm not sure where else, besides the hospital, that your SD could meet her sister except at your home, and from the sounds of it that's out of the question. I guess just have DH bring lots of pictures of the baby and let SD pick a few of them to keep if she wants. That way they could also spend more time together than they could if he had the baby with him.




Quoting suzysdaughter:

I have np with them doing their thing and baby & I in the back round. But seriously what is a newborn going to do at a park/playground. We are moving 1 week after she's born. So she will only be a few days old when this play date happens. There are germs other kids etc. plus we are in Florida rt now it's so hot I can't have her out in the sun for long.


There is absolutely no way on this green earth I will do anything to compromise bm to meet my baby. No way the threats of harm she has made towards the baby has us staying in a diff location from birth till we get the green light from doctors to move back north. Should be around 7 days.






Quoting ramita:

I don't blame you for wanting to keep the BM from the baby, bit is there anyway you could go with your DH, but keep your distance except for feeding? I know you said SD didn't want you there at all, but maybe this will be a good compromise. Although she is only 9 so I think what your DH wants is what should happen and if he wants you near then you should be.







As far as BM being at the hospital, I guess if it came down to it and this is the only way it works out then you could talk to the nurses and see if they can help y'all set up something to were BM can bring your SD, but keep her distance from you and your baby.

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