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So what are all these decisions us SMs make?

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 12:59 AM
  • 87 Replies

I just read sandyo's post about her SDs questioning mom about money and she said something about BM being mad at sandy because of the decisions she was making.  And sandy wondered "what decisions"?

Got me thinking about BM raging about me getting involved in decision making when it came to her children.  It was sort of the theme for years that it was not my place to make decisions about my skids.

I never made a decision besides what to make for dinner.  Seriously.  Anything DH and I did, we decided together.  And that was usually limited to what presents to get, where to go on vacation and how many texts were too many texts in a month.

And really, what are all the parenting decisions we make that SMs are sticking their noses in?  

To this day, it still confuses me.  No matter how many times DH said I never made any decisions, it was her focus for years.  I tried to think about decisions I have made regarding DDs and I don't come up with many, or at least not many that a person other than me, with input from DH and maybe BF have made about DDs.  

They got gardisil vaccinations.  Screen shut down was 9:00 for a couple of years and then slowly got later.  ODD was grounded once.  I didn't let DD15 go to a club downtown.  

Seriously, what are these decisions I would have made as SM?

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 12:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:12 AM
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Beats me. The only decisions I can think of having made regarding dss were whether a new pair of shorts fit right ( he's at that pre-puberty awkward size) and cutting him off after half a dozen snicker doodles. Anything more taxing than how much sugar is going to make him vomit after a two hour football practice is above my pay grade.
pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:46 AM
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I mean I feel like I barely make any big decisions with DDs. Yah, lots of minor day to day decisions called life and those little and too numerous to count decisions that end up shaping who they are...

But big decisions I need to be told not to make?  What the heck are they?

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:01 AM

BM said that because I wouldn't email/talk to her that I shouldn't be allowed any say in decision-making.  I laughed at that because I don't make any decisions as far as the girls are concerned because DH or BM always have it handled.  She thinks I have more power than I actually have.  How can I make ANY decisions about the girls when legally I don't have the right?

She was just trying to find a good reason to give DH for her to be able to contact me.  I guess she thought If I wanted to be a decision-maker in the girls' lives that she should have access to me.  Well guess what I don't have a right and I don't really want one.  DH is a big boy and can make decisions on his own or with BM.  They don't need a third party putting his/her 2 cents in.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:02 AM
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LOL. Thats what I said!  Biggest decision so far, "Should I buy the purple hoodie or the pink one for SD#2?"

Quoting MommySabs:

Beats me. The only decisions I can think of having made regarding dss were whether a new pair of shorts fit right ( he's at that pre-puberty awkward size) and cutting him off after half a dozen snicker doodles. Anything more taxing than how much sugar is going to make him vomit after a two hour football practice is above my pay grade.



pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:10 AM


So what are the decisions B and DH are making that you are supposedly involved in?

Quoting sandeeyo:

LOL. Thats what I said!  Biggest decision so far, "Should I buy the purple hoodie or the pink one for SD#2?"

Quoting MommySabs:

Beats me. The only decisions I can think of having made regarding dss were whether a new pair of shorts fit right ( he's at that pre-puberty awkward size) and cutting him off after half a dozen snicker doodles. Anything more taxing than how much sugar is going to make him vomit after a two hour football practice is above my pay grade.





sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:17 AM

Geez I have no idea...but maybe its the fact that I suggested that DH get SD#1 in to see a therapist?  He was leaning in that direction anyway.  But she did get mad one time when I asked a pediatrician colleague of mine about SD#1 maybe having ADD( but that was with DH's permission).  I overstepped with that second one, but thats as far as I've gone and I don't know if either would qualifyto be called decisions.  I also apologized to BM because she was afraid that I'd mentioned her name (I didn't) and invaded her privacy.  I had to assureher that no names were mentioned, especially hers.

Quoting pdxmum:


So what are the decisions B and DH are making that you are supposedly involved in?

Quoting sandeeyo:

LOL. Thats what I said!  Biggest decision so far, "Should I buy the purple hoodie or the pink one for SD#2?"

Quoting MommySabs:

Beats me. The only decisions I can think of having made regarding dss were whether a new pair of shorts fit right ( he's at that pre-puberty awkward size) and cutting him off after half a dozen snicker doodles. Anything more taxing than how much sugar is going to make him vomit after a two hour football practice is above my pay grade.







sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:32 AM
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Bottom line is that I have no clue what she means by decisions.

pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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I implemented a decision both DH and BM wanted but couldn't get SD to do.  That was held against me.  They had already decided, in front of me.  All I did was perform a miracle.

AnnieChristian
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:34 AM
7 moms liked this
You ladies speak for yourselves, I personally make life changing decisions on a daily basis for my SKs.

SD tells us all the time, "my mom says I don't eat bread". I usually avoid sandwiches because of this but I needed to make a quick lunch for everyone, SD suggested I give her just the slices of turkey with chips like her mom does...well, me being the BOSS I am, took it upon myself to make her a sandwich anyway, cut the crusts off aand BOOM-she's a sandwich lover. She even asked for a second one. In yo' face BM!
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:39 AM

OH.  I made the decision to rent a flute for SD#1 and pay for her flute lessons that she wanted!  Maybe that's what BM's mad about?!

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