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child support drama: update #1 and #2

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:35 AM
  • 36 Replies

So, DH's caseworker contacted him today and let him know that she spoke to BM's employer and the employer agreed that she'll start sending the child support payments to the state with BM's next pay day (which is July 25th). The caseworker said she had just spoken to the employer this week.

Well, yesterday SD was talking about how BM was going to quit her job. Interesting that BM is talking about quitting her job as soon as CS enforcement has tracked down her employer. BM's support is only set to $148 a month.

So, we'll see what happens come July 25th or so. 

Update 1:

BM called ME today, I was at DD's occupational therapy appointment and couldn't answer, but I texted her back.

Me: I'm at an appt with DD, I can't talk, but I can text

BM: I am wanting to talk about child support when you have a moment

Me: I'm super busy today, I'm not sure when I'll have time to talk, but you can text me and I can get back to you ASAP

BM: OK the CS enforcement gal I talked to stated that you do not have to collect the child support. You just have to get a form from them and check box 2 and send it back... if you did this it would not affect the benefits that you want to recieve from DSHS (welfare)

*Note DD and SD get medical through the state

Me: I don't know about that. I didn't talk to anyone at their office, I can't, I'm not a party to the case.

BM: I can not afford to have child support come after me... I do not make much money and if child support is after me they will take away my license I just got off the phone with them and was informed by them, I know BD would have to settle this issue on his day off.

Me: I can tell DH all of this and he can figure it all out

BM: That sounds fine I am just trying to figure this out as soon as possible because if I lose my license then I will not be able to make any money to live off of.
 

Here's the thing, when DH first got custody of SD he agreed that he wouldn't go after CS because BM was going to be helping with SD, taking ALL of her parenting time, AND providing for SD in her home. Then earlier this month the state contacted DH and I saying that he HAD to enforce CS for SD due to SD's and DD's medical through the state (it's to supplement our private insurance that doesn't cover all of their therapies). DH filled out the paperwork and CS was set to a whopping $148 a month.

I called DH and told him everything BM said via text (why she couldn't contact him is beyond me) he said, "No, I'm not letting her off the hook on this. She didn't care when she lied about how much she made so I would pay more. I still had to find a way to support my family and pay child support and I did it while paying out over twice what she's ordered to pay. If she can't afford it she needs to budget better or get a better job. I can't keep supporting SD at our house and then buying double of everything so SD can have what she needs at BM's house. Hell, I have to send body wash and shampoo so my kid can F***ING bathe at her mother's house."

So, DH gets to email BM that he's not OK with letting this slide.
  Honestly, I agree with him. You support your child whether they live with you or not. But, this decision is on him.

Update 2:

So, I did a bit of research, and apparently BM can fill out a form called Statement of Resources and Expenses and they can reduce the amount they take for past due support based on her income and expenses. If what she claims is true, that paying $148 a month makes her unable to live, then she shouldn't have any trouble getting a reduction in the amount of past due support that is taken from her check.

I'm not sure if we should send the link to the form over to her or not. She's been so busy trying to get OUT of paying at all, that she hasn't even tried to work with them on finding an amount that works for her budget. 

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Amy1973Potts
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:04 AM
Niiiiice. Well, hope for the best, expect the worst.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM
BM in our situation did the same and her CS is only $76/month.
ramita
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:18 AM
BM's lawyer in our case, found a judgement from child support on my DH's credit and had the child support stopped because he said my DH owed her. This would be true if the judgement hadn't been paid off in 2010, and the only reason it was there was because child support held onto a payment for 6 months. Anyway we showed proof of the judgement being satisfied to our lawyer who sent it to her lawyer, and he never contacted ours back. She'd only owe my DH $150, but she owes the other dad somewhere around the $300 range because their DD is in daycare so they're making her split the cost. Of course, she doesn't pay anything, or even ask if SS needs anything for school.
DDDaysh
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:26 AM
5 moms liked this

 It's ridiculous what lengths some people will go to to get out of supporting their kids. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:30 PM

It really is!

YEARS ago she accused DH of quitting his job to avoid paying CS, this was after he was paying without complaint AND had SD on his insurance (before CS enforcement even said he had to) and was paying for that without complaint for years.

The day DH was laid off he called his caseworker and let her know that he was laid off and would be applying for unemployment benefits and would let her know as soon as he heard anything. Because he did that, his caseworker temporarily set his payment to $25.

So, BM said he must have done it on purpose. LMAO

As soon as he found a job again he contact his caseworker and let her know where he was working, how much he was making and everything. BM was pissed that the CS amount went down, because the caseworker took into consideration that at this time DH and I had two more children. It wasn't his intention to make CS go down, we didn't even ask them to take DDs into consideration.

And now, here's BM in the exact same situation she accused DH of. 


Quoting DDDaysh:

 It's ridiculous what lengths some people will go to to get out of supporting their kids. 



Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:32 PM

I'm certainly not going to complain if something does come through, especially with the costs of school supplies coming up. We can afford everything on our own, but it would be nice to have the extra money for all of SD's needs as we're doing back to school stuff for 4 kiddos this year.


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Niiiiice. Well, hope for the best, expect the worst.



dawncs
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 4:57 PM

She can't get out of paying child support trust me. It will go into arrears if she keeps quitting jobs or goes under the table on things through commission or waitressing. In some states, if she gets custody once again, she will not collect child support until it is paid off. The state does not stop going after deadbeat parents who owe them money for state benefits either.

Tx_stepmom
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:06 PM

 That's what alot of NCP's do whether its Moms or Dads.  As soon as CS comes a knocking, they change jobs.  It's pathetic. 

minimoo
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:09 PM
Bf likes to play the job hopping game. And work under the table day labor jobs. I'm sorry. It's frustrating. Just remember...at the end of the day, kids know who took care of them and who failed them.
minimoo
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Yep. We don't budget cs into income. If it actually comes, it is like freaking Christmas.


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Niiiiice. Well, hope for the best, expect the worst.

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