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Straight up craziness!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:46 AM
  • 24 Replies
1 mom liked this

  Making this a journal too so I can document stuff. So I had been dreading my SD coming down for the summer because she is always so bratty to me,DH, and the kids. This was the year I hoped things would turn around. SIL is a big enabled to SD's behavior.  My SIL was supposed to be getting married this summer but they didn't have the money at the last minute. I was hoping she would be too busy with her new DH to bother with SD as much. BM was actually even following court order 50/50 on plane tickets. So BM spends her money when the wedding is cancelled and says she can't afford to cover SD's flight back home. Cue FIL saying he will have a road trip back to her mom's state. So SD is here and being the occasional brat but mainly ok. BM calls every few days to talk to SD. We just hand over the phone because BM never wants to hold conversation if it isn't asking for extra money. One day she calls and asks to speak to SD. I tell her she is sleeping and she says to have her call her back. She calls two hours later says she brought SD a plane ticket home for 3pm. DH asks when and this woman says today! It was like 1:40 and we don't live close to the airport let alone have SD packed! So DH is telling her no way because FIL was driving her back and that's what they agreed on. Also besides there wasn't enough time to make it. BM asks to speak to SD so I have to wake the poor girl so she can hear this BS. Ensue crying and BM getting mad SD wasn't ' excited' to come home. She tells SD and DH to pack what she can and forget the rest. Once again DH says no and he now has to go to work. They had been on the phone arguing for at least 40 mins. SD was still trying to pack, crying, and trying not to freak out. BM hangs up on DH because she won't call FIL and explain to him why she is all of a sudden trying to change the agreement two weeks early. Yeah only two weeks. FIL is called and he gets onto BM because they have been talking and he has already put in and been approved for leave. BM hangs up on FIL too after not getting her way. BM tries to recruit me and my two little ones to take SD to the airport. Doesn't ask me just tells SD I am going to do it. I said no your dad already said no. So BM is like you have to come home early for parent/teacher/student meet. If you don't you can't go to school. If your uniform doesn't fit just right you can't get in. It can't be too big or too little. You need a physical, school supplies, etc. So after hearing all that SD is now hyperventilating. BM tops off the end of the phone call with she will be waiting at the airport and SD better be there or she won't like it. I end up with a child rocking in place crying at me and dry heaving. She's all like I won't get in school and her mom will be waiting for her and that I needed to go take her now. My cell is fried so I ended up driving across town to MIL's so she could call her mom back. SD was trying every outlet to talk to BM. She finally reached her on Facebook. BM proceeded to talk crap of course. SD was getting worse so that's also why I headed to MIL's. My two LO's where getting so stressed that they were crying too. Plus SD was lashing out a DS for trying to cheer her up. She pushed him actually but I let it slide due to the situation. I just told her not to do that he is trying to help and moved him from her. At MIL'shouse after SD had calmed down we made her call back BM. Her last message to BM on Facebook was gotta go and she logged off. BM tried to get me on the phone to start stuff but SIL talked to her. I really don't have anything to do with BM. Other than her asking to speak to SD when she calls I haven't actually spoken to the woman in 6 years. She tries more guilt stuff with SD causing her to get upset again and SIL takes to phone back. SD says she doesn't want to talk to BM and why is she acting like this. That she was making everybody mad and upset (which she was. burned all your bridges there BM). We get back home and SD gets on FB again ( I'm thinking glutton for punishment or craving the drama here) and lo and behold her account is unlocked. SD has been trying to get in her account all summer but they go on there and post messages as her ( stole some of kids pics this way to because I don't want to friend BM or her mom. I don't post anymore now because of this). She is all excited because she wants to play Candy Crush. Then she see it. BM has written and post and tagged SD and DH in it. Says that basically she brought a ticket because her child was supposed to be home already and DH was holding her hostage. That DH and I refuse to answer her calls ( I don't have a phone and DH is at work and can't answer. She knows this). She follows up with scheduling a flight for the next day and how our behavior is affecting SD. Of course the minions were like he better think about this for future visitation. This was also posted 3 hours after the phone call at MIL's so she did talk to SD and to other family members. SD got all upset again and said she had an upset stomach. Comes out bathroom and says she thinks she pooped herself. I go see what she means. Thanks to BM and stressing her out SD started her period. Thank goodness it's light/spotting. Poor kid is still stressed out and it's almost been a week. She refuses to call BM and tell her. Not even a FB message. BM hasn't called back since either. So much for really missing her baby girl/ world. She did say she was gonna call the cops on DH that day though. DH had to remind her that she changed the arrangements and lost money on her own. Also that she is still in contempt of court but he doesn't/ didn't want her going to jail. Sorry that was long.

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:17 AM

What does the CO say as per the time that your SD is supposed to be with your DH? 

Funnybunny02
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:49 AM

 The whole summer and every holiday but with split christmas vacation. I think it's because DH and FIL have been letting SD come down for half the summer because BM would say and do stuff( you don't love me because you're having too much fun, I had to put down your cat because i couldn't afford to feed it, grandma is sick and may die in the hospital , etc. So basically it's been a SD and BM running the show for years but this year SD decided she did want to come on time and stay the whole time.

 

Funnybunny02
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:06 AM

 We tried that drive at Christmas just to see if it would be cheaper. It is less than the usual round trip ticket but we had to make so many stops for food, bathroom breaks, and my DD needed to be nursed. I think I saved $115 by driving.

amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:30 AM

why didn't you guys not hand the phone to sd if you weren't granting bms request? you guys shouldn't have brought the child into it.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:41 AM


Quoting Funnybunny02:

 The whole summer and every holiday but with split christmas vacation. I think it's because DH and FIL have been letting SD come down for half the summer because BM would say and do stuff( you don't love me because you're having too much fun, I had to put down your cat because i couldn't afford to feed it, grandma is sick and may die in the hospital , etc. So basically it's been a SD and BM running the show for years but this year SD decided she did want to come on time and stay the whole time.

 

I'm seeing a potential issue here. Sounds like BM wasn't privvy to SD's decision. Why is a child making this decision?

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:24 AM



Quoting Funnybunny02:

  Thanks to BM and stressing her out SD started her period.

You have to be kidding me. You lost all credibility there.

Also that she is still in contempt of court but he doesn't/ didn't want her going to jail. Sorry that was long.

What is she in contempt for? and why do you think she would go to jail for being in contempt? 



baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:29 AM

Not one person I know, especially a mom. would wake up one morning and just buy a airline ticket for a person who didnt know about it only hours before the flight took off. That just doesnt happen.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:33 AM
2 moms liked this


I also had trouble with that detail. 

Quoting baparrot2:

Not one person I know, especially a mom. would wake up one morning and just buy a airline ticket for a person who didnt know about it only hours before the flight took off. That just doesnt happen.



SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:43 AM
I wouldn't have continued to let SD speak with BM.

BMs ODD8 is spending the summer with her dad. BM has been calling upwards of 7 times a day, trying to guilt the girl into wanting to go home early. There is no CO but BM doesn't want to look like the bad guy by making her come home. Anyway, every phone call was ending with DD stressed and crying so they started making the calls be on speaker. All the crap on the phone stopped and BM has all but quit calling.

I would be concerned about BMs reaction when SD does get home. DH needs to make it clear that visitation stuff is between the adults and SD shouldn't be brought into it.

When you found out about the ticket...it should have went sorry but we aren't prepared since we received no notice and intend to follow through on the COd agreement. SD will be home in two weeks and that would be the end of discussion.

I would also consider not allowing phone calls unless DH is there so he can deal with BM if she upsets SD.
DDDaysh
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this

 The only two ways this makes sense is if

A)  BM is really certifiably insane.  Never really had a plane ticket, and just said all that to start crazy drama and ruin everyone's day.  I suppose this is possible, but....  if you know you're dealing with someone that crazy, you hang up the phone the first time after saying, "Sorry, the CO says she's coming home on August 12th" and stop answering.  No one in their right mind starts driving all over town to continue a conversation with a delusional person 

B)  BM somehow got a free last minute ticket from a friend who works in an airline and wanted to try to take advantage of it to get her daughter home sooner.  Of course, the same response as in point A would apply... 

Not sure why either party would let a 9-year-old get put in the middle of this. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

 

I also had trouble with that detail. 

Quoting baparrot2:

Not one person I know, especially a mom. would wake up one morning and just buy a airline ticket for a person who didnt know about it only hours before the flight took off. That just doesnt happen.

 

 

 

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