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vacationing with bm next year

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:58 PM
  • 5 Replies
My sd#2 told my husband she wanys a quince next year when she turns 15. For.those that don't know its a big party for girls. Often compared to a wedding. Anyways, my husbands brothers and sister said they would pay for it all. The catch is it has to be down in Mexico, where they are.
I know that in the hispanic culture this is a very big deal for them and I would never want sd bm to miss it. Dh said sd would have to go down for about a week or so to.work with a cartographer to learn some dances. He was thing of sending me down with her since I don't work and he would have to take a bunch of time off. I am seriously considering asking bm if she wants to go instead. I can't decide. I want to go to but I also think since bm speaks spanish (she's Guatemalan) she can express sd wants better.
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:58 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Have you run that one past your husband?  Since it's his family extending the invitation, they may not appreciate you extending it further.  What's the relationship like between all of them and BM? 

momofjkkc
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:07 PM
I think their cool with her. When we go down for the Quince she will go down with us anyways and her husband might come too. And we all will stay with dh.family. Two of the main reasons I don't want to go down without dh is 1) his mom is a drama queen. If she doesn't have any drama around her she will create it and I fear we will be the main target. Since I don't speak spanish I'd be screwed.and 2) it would be to expensive for us to but three plane tickets to go down once than seven more tickets when we all go.


Quoting Derdriu:

Have you run that one past your husband?  Since it's his family extending the invitation, they may not appreciate you extending it further.  What's the relationship like between all of them and BM? 


jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:19 PM

Um... why can't she have dance lessons here?  I know there are many places that'll do that locally, surely there are local to you too.  This is next year, you've got a year to learn some Spanish.  If this is part of your DH's and SD's culture, why not share in it an learn about it?  There's a bit more to a quincinerra than a 'big party for girls'.  The comparison to a wedding is in the price of the party, not the reason for the occasion.  It's actually more like a debutant ball, a 'coming out' party, a way to celebrate the girl being 'of age' to begin dating.  A cousin of mine is having hers later this year.  We've attended some for children of those we attend church with.  They can be large or small, expensive or inexpensive.  Usually, if it's important to the family, it's important to the young lady.  If it's not, then the young lady doesn't care about it either.  There are traditions to follow for it but nothing that can't be learned locally as well.

Does SD know any Spanish? 

Shoot, his reply too soon.  Have you crossed any of this by DH, or his family who would be hosting BM and her family?  If not, this may not be anything you have to worry about.  Do you get along with DH's brothers and sister?  Maybe, if you go down early, you can stay with one of them and avoid MIL a bit more? 

momofjkkc
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:28 PM
Since the party is going to be down there and they are paying for it, all her cousins are going to be the domas. So It would be better for her to go down there. And we want her to be able to have her voice heard on what she wants and I think bm would be best at enforcing that.
Yeah, I was just trying to give the short version of an explanation.
I've tried to.learn but since dh doesn't speak spanish at home it's harder for me to remember. I know enough to get me by. Only sd#1 speaks spanish sd#2 doesn't really care to know, atleast right now. I do know about the culture. lol my family says I'm more Mexican than dh.


Quoting jules2boys:

Um... why can't she have dance lessons here?  I know there are many places that'll do that locally, surely there are local to you too.  This is next year, you've got a year to learn some Spanish.  If this is part of your DH's and SD's culture, why not share in it an learn about it?  There's a bit more to a quincinerra than a 'big party for girls'.  The comparison to a wedding is in the price of the party, not the reason for the occasion.  It's actually more like a debutant ball, a 'coming out' party, a way to celebrate the girl being 'of age' to begin dating.  A cousin of mine is having hers later this year.  We've attended some for children of those we attend church with.  They can be large or small, expensive or inexpensive.  Usually, if it's important to the family, it's important to the young lady.  If it's not, then the young lady doesn't care about it either.  There are traditions to follow for it but nothing that can't be learned locally as well.

Does SD know any Spanish? 

Shoot, his reply too soon.  Have you crossed any of this by DH, or his family who would be hosting BM and her family?  If not, this may not be anything you have to worry about.  Do you get along with DH's brothers and sister?  Maybe, if you go down early, you can stay with one of them and avoid MIL a bit more? 


momofjkkc
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:31 PM
Sorry I didnt see the last paragraph
Yeah they love me:-) They are cool with her coming down and staying with them.


Quoting jules2boys:

Um... why can't she have dance lessons here?  I know there are many places that'll do that locally, surely there are local to you too.  This is next year, you've got a year to learn some Spanish.  If this is part of your DH's and SD's culture, why not share in it an learn about it?  There's a bit more to a quincinerra than a 'big party for girls'.  The comparison to a wedding is in the price of the party, not the reason for the occasion.  It's actually more like a debutant ball, a 'coming out' party, a way to celebrate the girl being 'of age' to begin dating.  A cousin of mine is having hers later this year.  We've attended some for children of those we attend church with.  They can be large or small, expensive or inexpensive.  Usually, if it's important to the family, it's important to the young lady.  If it's not, then the young lady doesn't care about it either.  There are traditions to follow for it but nothing that can't be learned locally as well.

Does SD know any Spanish? 

Shoot, his reply too soon.  Have you crossed any of this by DH, or his family who would be hosting BM and her family?  If not, this may not be anything you have to worry about.  Do you get along with DH's brothers and sister?  Maybe, if you go down early, you can stay with one of them and avoid MIL a bit more? 


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