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bd in competition w/sd

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:48 PM
  • 8 Replies
My bd keeps comparing herself to sd. Saying sd is perfect & she isnt. Other then reminding her we love her & they both have their own qualities. Sd isnt perfect none of us are, any thoughts? I believe she's more jealous w sd &sd then myself & sd & sd. Hope that makes sense.
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:48 PM
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Replies (1-8):
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:31 PM

How old are the girls? I'm assuming bd is birth daughter.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 7:00 PM
2 moms liked this



Quoting JaSeaKnight3:

 I believe she's more jealous w sd &sd then myself & sd & sd. Hope that makes sense.


LOL.. uhhh no. Does not make sense. Wha??

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 10:17 PM
How old are they?
JaSeaKnight3
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:49 AM
Girls r 8 & 9 but literally only couple months apart actually. Yes bd=bio daughter & sd =step daughter.


Quoting jules2boys:

How old are the girls? I'm assuming bd is birth daughter.


JaSeaKnight3
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:56 AM
Sry..in this case its step dad & step daughter. So in an attempt to make more sense. I believe my bio daughter is more jealous of the relationship between my step daughter & her bio dad which would be my bio daughters step dad then my relationship w the step daughter & the step dad. Is that any better?


Quoting whatIknownow:




Quoting JaSeaKnight3:

 I believe she's more jealous w sd &sd then myself & sd & sd. Hope that makes sense.



LOL.. uhhh no. Does not make sense. Wha??


whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:22 AM


yes, better!

It's possible. 

Quoting JaSeaKnight3:

Sry..in this case its step dad & step daughter. So in an attempt to make more sense. I believe my bio daughter is more jealous of the relationship between my step daughter & her bio dad which would be my bio daughters step dad then my relationship w the step daughter & the step dad. Is that any better?


Quoting whatIknownow:




Quoting JaSeaKnight3:

 I believe she's more jealous w sd &sd then myself & sd & sd. Hope that makes sense.



LOL.. uhhh no. Does not make sense. Wha??




jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

let's try this for clarity.  SF is stepfather (instead of sd being stepdad).  SD is stepdaughter.  DD is biodaughter (or darling daughter).   BF is birth father.   That may help in the future too.

And, yes, it's entirely possible your DD is jealous of any one of you and your relationship with another in your family.  It happens in intact families as well however. 

YDS10 spent years comparing himself (unfavorably) to ODS15.  I finally convinced him that I already had ODS15, I didn't need another.  What I was looking for was YDS10.  HE had plenty to offer without trying to be someone else, do something as well as older brother did, etc.  There were plenty of things YDS could do that ODS couldn't do, or wouldn't do, or had no interest in.  I didn't want or need clones in my kids, I wanted individuals.  YDS just had to learn to be OK with who he is, or who he'd become.  He managed to start doing that around 9/10.  He's nearly 11 now and he's awfully comfortable in his own skin these days.  Thank heavens! 

Perhaps your DD just needs more reassurance that she is PERFECT just the way she is, even without the things she thinks she's missing.  :)

JaSeaKnight3
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Ok i didnt get all the initials sry new to all this. But out of what i did get Im trying to do that but it doesnt help that she is very strong willed like to play parent. Although i think if i can curb it right she'll be great but sf has very high expectations bc he was able to raise his one & only daughter with very high expectations. As such she meltsdown over just about everything & really likes to play tattle tale. So im trying to help dd meet high expectations that i know she can meet.


Quoting jules2boys:

let's try this for clarity.  SF is stepfather (instead of sd being stepdad).  SD is stepdaughter.  DD is biodaughter (or darling daughter).   BF is birth father.   That may help in the future too.

And, yes, it's entirely possible your DD is jealous of any one of you and your relationship with another in your family.  It happens in intact families as well however. 

YDS10 spent years comparing himself (unfavorably) to ODS15.  I finally convinced him that I already had ODS15, I didn't need another.  What I was looking for was YDS10.  HE had plenty to offer without trying to be someone else, do something as well as older brother did, etc.  There were plenty of things YDS could do that ODS couldn't do, or wouldn't do, or had no interest in.  I didn't want or need clones in my kids, I wanted individuals.  YDS just had to learn to be OK with who he is, or who he'd become.  He managed to start doing that around 9/10.  He's nearly 11 now and he's awfully comfortable in his own skin these days.  Thank heavens! 

Perhaps your DD just needs more reassurance that she is PERFECT just the way she is, even without the things she thinks she's missing.  :)


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