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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I need advice

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 9:42 PM
  • 14 Replies
Hi there, I am new to the group. I have a 10 year old stepson, 15 yo son, and a 20 yo daughter. My kids are far from perfect and my stepson is a very well behaved young man. They all three can try our patience equally. My concern is the attachment my stepson has on his father. My husband spends a lot of time with his son. He is a great dad. His son however cannot get more than 6 inches away from his dad. This causes an irritation due to I can't have an adult or parental conversation with my husband because we are dancing around the opinion and interruption of a child. How can I delicately express to my husband that his son needs to know the difference between adult time and family time?
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kelbini
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 9:45 PM

Ask him out on a date, so you and he can spend time just the 2 of you!!!!!!!

ramita
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 9:57 PM
Tell him that its time for an adult conversation so he needs to be out of the room until its over.

My SS (age 7) is horrible about this (he does it to both my DH and me). I can't even go into my room without him following me in there. I just have to remind him either adults have to talk about things that kids don't need to hear, or that sometimes a person just needs some space from everyone. I do this in very polite ways, but he gets the point atleast for that moment.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this

10 year old boys are just outrageously annoying and obnoxious. I say this as the mother of a 10 year old boy, LOL

Personally, in our family, there is no adult time during the day. We get our adult time once the kids are in bed. 

Tx_stepmom
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

My SS is like this.  The exception is that SS is ADHD and has extreme impulse issues.  He feels that he has to be involved in everything that is being talked about whether it involves him or not.  We've gotten to the point where we politely tell him to go away becaue we're having an adult conversation.  He also has a tendency to eavesdrop from his bedroom to hear what we are talking about.  I'm also a BM (24yr old son) and he was like this at this age, just not as bad as SS is.  SS is learning that he doesn't have to be involved in every conversation that happens in the house.  It's a learning process.  Hang in there! 

packermomof2
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Adult time is when there are no kids around.  

My kids and I spend a lot of time together.  There is a SF in the picture.  My daughter, in particular, is the one who who makes sure I'm around, who texts me, who calls me, who comes in to my room around bedtime just to talk (my husband works nights)... my son does the same from time to time as well.  

When my husband is home and it is bedtime my kids do not come into my room when the door is shut.  If one asks me what I said or gives me their their opinion while I'm talking to my husband I simply say I was taking to my husband.  We generally don't talk about things that they can't or shouldn't have an opinion on or about personal issues around them.

There is nothing wrong with a kid being "attached' to his or her parents.
 

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:47 AM
This isn't a stepson issue this is a KID issue. We have the same issue. Constantly having to tell the kids to stop interrupting. We do have to stop our conversations and save them for after bed time. When they are up, we do tend to cater to them. We take adult conversations to the back porch and usually after 9pm. I've been known to make a list lol cause I have so much to share and don't want to forget it all. It took my husband time to adjust to this when we first got married but I had to get him to understand, we work all day long and when we get home, the kids have so much to share with us. We have from 6pm to 9pm to let them share share share all they want. After 9 then they are done sharing. Then they can make a list and share the next day. That very small window that we are allowed time with the kids when we get home from work is for the kids. I'm all for adult time but make it after they are in bed. I noticed it really cut down on the frustration of interruptions when we just decided to curb our talks until after bedtime.
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faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:32 AM
I have a 10 year old ss and no one gets long w him. Not my ds18 or 15, not BM 's 15 hear old son, not his full bio brothers 12 and 5.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

10 year old boys are just outrageously annoying and obnoxious. I say this as the mother of a 10 year old boy, LOL

Personally, in our family, there is no adult time during the day. We get our adult time once the kids are in bed. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:45 AM
1 mom liked this

DS is over all a good kid, but I just think 10 year old boys in general are HIGHLY obnoxious, LOL


Quoting faerie75:

I have a 10 year old ss and no one gets long w him. Not my ds18 or 15, not BM 's 15 hear old son, not his full bio brothers 12 and 5.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

10 year old boys are just outrageously annoying and obnoxious. I say this as the mother of a 10 year old boy, LOL

Personally, in our family, there is no adult time during the day. We get our adult time once the kids are in bed. 



AnnieChristian
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:58 AM
I think 10 is an obnoxious age in general-I spent the whole year I was 10 telling everyone at our house, "ever since I hit 'double-digit age' nobody cares about me anymore"-once I attempted to pretend I ran away by hiding in our backyard after a hissy fit I threw with my mom because I wanted her to get all upset about it and worry then I could tell her I was there the whole time-but no one even noticed, it got really dark then mosquitoes started eating me alive so I retreated indoors mad at the world lol.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

DS is over all a good kid, but I just think 10 year old boys in general are HIGHLY obnoxious, LOL



Quoting faerie75:

I have a 10 year old ss and no one gets long w him. Not my ds18 or 15, not BM 's 15 hear old son, not his full bio brothers 12 and 5.



Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

10 year old boys are just outrageously annoying and obnoxious. I say this as the mother of a 10 year old boy, LOL

Personally, in our family, there is no adult time during the day. We get our adult time once the kids are in bed. 





JustaSM231
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:15 AM
Hahaha!! I am not laughing at you but at he situation. My SD 10 does this. DH and I go to bed early so we can spend some grown up time together. One night SD 10 followed us into the bedroom and just stood there. I went to the bathroom and changed into my Pj's. DH sleeps in the buff so he stood there for a minute. When SD 10 just continued to stand there, DH shucked his clothes down to his birthday suit. SD10 still just stood there. DH finally had to tell her it was bedtime and she needed to go to bed! LOL

I would tell DH that you need one on one adult time. Just make sure SS is getting one on one time with DH also. It also okay to nicely say to SS that you are having a grown up conversation and he needs to please go entertain himself in another room until you are done.
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