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I might be selfish but I don't care

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:28 AM
  • 34 Replies
Sd does 2wks here and 2weeks at bms during the summer. We typically meet halfway but I was down in her area on the 6th so I asked if we could meet then. She said no. So I stayed the night at a hotel and got sd on the 7th. Sd is staying until the 28th this time. I told dh that I think its fair because I could have gotten sd on the 6th. He hasn't told bm yet that sd is staying an extra day. Sd has karate in the am on the 27th and then dd has all county swim meet. Dh hasn't been to a meet all season because he works nights. If he took sd half way on the 27th then he'd miss another meet. So yeah maybe this one time I'm being a little selfish because I want my husband at dds swim meet.
They don't have court set parenting plan. Before anyone sats uve for 3wks this time I know because sd has summer school until the 26th this time it was the exception the 2wks each place rule.
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mamaBerg85
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:58 AM
Good no one cares. Hopefully that means I'm allowed to be a little selfish this time.
malinda74
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:18 PM
I care.....and I don't think you are being selfish. ;)
mamaBerg85
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:40 PM
Good. If you look at it as a bigger picture sd is not going to remember that we kept her one extra day 5 yrs from now but 5 yrs from not dd will remember that her whole family was there cheering her on. 5yrs from now sd will remember that she went to her sisters first all county and it was soooo cool to watch her sister win a race and see a mini Olympic event. (This is how all county has been discribed to me.) However if she doesn't like it then I know next yr don't take her.


Quoting malinda74:

I care.....and I don't think you are being selfish. ;)

Tx_stepmom
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:42 PM

 You're not being selfish.  

stepmominhell
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it's a good idea to have both dh and sd there. This way like you said DD will have her entire family there to cheer her on. How exciting will that be? That's a memory that dd can have for a long time no matter what. Her first all county meet, and her entire family being there for support. That's an exciting thing for a child...
Nothing selfish about that in any way.
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you are asking for trouble with BM...especially since you haven't cleared it with her. It kinda sounds like you are trying to get back at BM for not letting you take SD a day early, and its not fair that you keep SD an extra day because BM wouldn't give up a day. What if BM has plans the next day? Are you going to make the trip to take SD back since you are making the decision to keep her? Another possible solution to having DH be at the swim meet, would be for you to take SD to meet BM.  

IMO, none of the girls are going to remember this particular day 5-10 yrs from now...unless the parents make a big deal out of it.

mamaBerg85
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:21 PM

Quoting SassyMom25:

I think you are asking for trouble with BM...especially since you haven't cleared it with her. It kinda sounds like you are trying to get back at BM for not letting you take SD a day early, and its not fair that you keep SD an extra day because BM wouldn't give up a day. What if BM has plans the next day? Are you going to make the trip to take SD back since you are making the decision to keep her? Another possible solution to having DH be at the swim meet, would be for you to take SD to meet BM.  

IMO, none of the girls are going to remember this particular day 5-10 yrs from now...unless the parents make a big deal out of it.


If I took SD then I would miss DD's all county and that would be unfair to DD too. I am not trying to get back at bm for anything I am trying to allow my DD to have her whole family there supporting her. I am not trying to get back at bm I was only making the point because I wanted to show that basically they work out their own parenting plan. All dh has to do is ask. I mean I guess if bm says no and gives a good reason then my mom can take sd down there (she's going that way anyway and it'd only be a bit out of her way but I know she wouldn't want to do it because they are also moving my brother into a new apartment that day.) Also I think you are wrong I think My kid will remember her first All county. I remember my first championship basketball game. I remember when my sister used to do spelling bees and going to all of them. I remember her biggest one and how cool I felt telling everyone that she was my sister. (I suck at spelling but it was nice to say my sister wins awards in it for some reason.) Just like SD loves watching her sister swim and thinks it's soooo cool when her sister comes in with a place holder ribbon and not just a participation ribbon. SD loves going to meets and playing with all the other kids while she is there.
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting mamaBerg85:


If I took SD then I would miss DD's all county and that would be unfair to DD too. I am not trying to get back at bm for anything I am trying to allow my DD to have her whole family there supporting her. I am not trying to get back at bm I was only making the point because I wanted to show that basically they work out their own parenting plan. All dh has to do is ask. I mean I guess if bm says no and gives a good reason then my mom can take sd down there (she's going that way anyway and it'd only be a bit out of her way but I know she wouldn't want to do it because they are also moving my brother into a new apartment that day.) Also I think you are wrong I think My kid will remember her first All county. I remember my first championship basketball game. I remember when my sister used to do spelling bees and going to all of them. I remember her biggest one and how cool I felt telling everyone that she was my sister. (I suck at spelling but it was nice to say my sister wins awards in it for some reason.) Just like SD loves watching her sister swim and thinks it's soooo cool when her sister comes in with a place holder ribbon and not just a participation ribbon. SD loves going to meets and playing with all the other kids while she is there.

So basically DD having her whole family at her meet is more important that SD getting to spend time with BM? That may be how BM takes this. I only said it seems that you are trying to get back at her because of your statement about how you feel its fair to keep SD an extra day because BM wouldn't give her up a day early...that sounds spiteful.

I just know for myself, that I don't remember a lot about who was at what when I was little (though I was an only child, so siblings weren't a thought). I had enough going on throughout school, that I couldn't say who wasn't at something...at least not without looking at pictures.

If it all works out though, then great!

mamaBerg85
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:07 PM
My dd has aspergers so she remembers dates and events like crazy. Sd is the same way. Its just how they are. Plus its all county of course there will be pictures. You can ask each girl about their pre k graduation and they remember everything down to what they were wearing and the exact date od the event. I don't even remember that.
Also yes I think this one day is more important for us as a family then sd getting to bms house a day early. It should work out because as long as dh presents it bm will do it.


Quoting SassyMom25:

 


Quoting mamaBerg85:


If I took SD then I would miss DD's all county and that would be unfair to DD too. I am not trying to get back at bm for anything I am trying to allow my DD to have her whole family there supporting her. I am not trying to get back at bm I was only making the point because I wanted to show that basically they work out their own parenting plan. All dh has to do is ask. I mean I guess if bm says no and gives a good reason then my mom can take sd down there (she's going that way anyway and it'd only be a bit out of her way but I know she wouldn't want to do it because they are also moving my brother into a new apartment that day.) Also I think you are wrong I think My kid will remember her first All county. I remember my first championship basketball game. I remember when my sister used to do spelling bees and going to all of them. I remember her biggest one and how cool I felt telling everyone that she was my sister. (I suck at spelling but it was nice to say my sister wins awards in it for some reason.) Just like SD loves watching her sister swim and thinks it's soooo cool when her sister comes in with a place holder ribbon and not just a participation ribbon. SD loves going to meets and playing with all the other kids while she is there.

So basically DD having her whole family at her meet is more important that SD getting to spend time with BM? That may be how BM takes this. I only said it seems that you are trying to get back at her because of your statement about how you feel its fair to keep SD an extra day because BM wouldn't give her up a day early...that sounds spiteful.


I just know for myself, that I don't remember a lot about who was at what when I was little (though I was an only child, so siblings weren't a thought). I had enough going on throughout school, that I couldn't say who wasn't at something...at least not without looking at pictures.


If it all works out though, then great!


soonergirl980
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:01 PM
2 moms liked this

I think you are being wrong and despite what you say you very much made it sound like you are trying to get back at mom for not letting you take her early. Why do you think your dh is entitled to an extra day if precedent for the summer has been set 2w/2w?

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