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Step son holds all the cards

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:36 PM
  • 22 Replies
Let me start by saying when I first met my soon to be stepson he had said that if he didn't like me, his father wouldn't have married me. Ok, fast forward two years later. My stepson confided in me that he had a big party while my husband and I were on vacation. My iPad and his laptop were stolen. My dilemma. I am racked with guilt not telling my husband, but yet I am afraid it will backfire on me. I have known for three days now and my husband is out of town for business. I don't want to lie to my husband, but I am afraid of my stepson once again getting away with it and me coming out the bad guy. Advice please.
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:41 PM
3 moms liked this

I would tell his father and let the chips fall where they may, you really don't want to marry a man if he is allowing his child to make the decision whether he marries you or not.

jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you married or are you not yet married?  "Soon to be stepson" implies you're not married.  "Wouldn't have married me" implies you're already married to SS's father. 

Why have you kept this from oyr SO/DH?  Does your SO/DH not know his laptop is missing? 

How will this backfire on you?  Because you didn't rush to tell him his son threw a party in his absense and things were stolen?  Because you didn't stop it  Because you had something stolen as well?  How long have you been with SO/DH?  Has nothing like this come up before?  Why do you feel SS holds 'all the cards'? 

Terrisues
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:47 PM
We've been married for two years now. My husband says his son doesn't control things, but the son is never held accountable. I hate feeling "hostage" to a child. That comment the son made is forever in the back of my mind. Blending families is the hardest job anyone could do.
AnnaNonamus
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:48 PM

You are an adult, and parent. You have to tell your husband, and you need to report the stolen items.

EMT91
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:49 PM

How old is SS?

Terrisues
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:51 PM
I am sorry. The son made the comment right before his father and I got married. Backfire because anytime I approach my husband about sons behavior he sides with the son. I feel my husband will say I held onto the information and didn't tell him immediately. The stepson will most likely treat me like crap and causing arguments between everyone in the house. Yes, my iPad was stolen.
Terrisues
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Ss is 17.
whatIknownow
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:11 PM



Quoting Terrisues:

but I am afraid of my stepson once again getting away with it and me coming out the bad guy. Advice please.


getting away with what? His laptop was also stollen. Why not file a police report?

whatIknownow
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:13 PM



Quoting Terrisues:

We've been married for two years now. My husband says his son doesn't control things, but the son is never held accountable. I hate feeling "hostage" to a child. That comment the son made is forever in the back of my mind. Blending families is the hardest job anyone could do.

accountable for what??

It's probably true that if the kid didnt' like you, his father wouldn't have married you. Why does that bother you? He obviously did like you, or else the father would not have married you. so, here you are, married. What's the issue?

How are you "hostage"?


DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:19 PM
Why wouldn't you have told your husband immediately when you found out? Is it so hard to say, "Hey, SS was having a party and it looks like one of the guests stole my iPad and his laptop." Then let Dad handle it as he will. You don't really need to worry about whether SS gets in trouble for it, but your husband deserves to know things were stolen.
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