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So what about our ex's in our house?

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:32 PM
  • 45 Replies

Just curious, so many of us are not Ok with BM in our home when we are not home.  What about our ex's?

And really, at some point most kids have keys to their home so unless you specifically tell kids that their mom or dad are not allowed in your home, what can you really do about it?  DH and I are out of town every other weekend.  Any of the 5 kids and two ex's (BM and BF) could come in our home when we aren't there.

So if BM or BF really had nefarious motivations, they could easily get in your house.  Why nt just invite them to do so?

I used to care about BF coming in my home, he just couldn't accept it wasn't his home anymore and would just start going through the mail.  I wish I could have been more compassionate at the time but fuck that, I hated him so I made a big old bitch fest about him not being allowed in.

At this point, I just don't care.  Really about either of them.  I would actually prefer not to be there if BM had to come over for some reason.

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lnr187
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 i dont really allow anyone to be in my house without me here. on occasion my mother in law is here babysitting, but that's the extent of it. i would never allow bm in my home without us here.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:38 PM
2 moms liked this
We have told the kids no one at our house and that includes BM. i would be thrilled if my ex was at my house. Then maybe he would give a shit about our son.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:38 PM
My ex is not welcome in my home. It's not about trust for me. It's that he is not welcome. And I'm not welcome in his home. Doesn't hurt my feelings. I don't want to see inside his home. This is my privacy. Only people I invite in are welcome. My child does not have a key to our home. Not sure when she will get one. She is slowly starting to stay home alone so it's something we need to discuss. But when she needs a key she just borrows mine. My mother has a key so that when she gets dd from school they can come here.

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pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:47 PM


How old are the kids?

Quoting lnr187:

 i dont really allow anyone to be in my house without me here. on occasion my mother in law is here babysitting, but that's the extent of it. i would never allow bm in my home without us here.



KLBrown
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:48 PM
If my ex comes anywhere near my house, his ass is going to jail.

BM has a key to SO's house, which I sometimes hate. But we don't live together. Not my house, nothing I can do about it
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:51 PM

I'm not even sure if my ex knows where I live...but since DH adopted DD, I doubt I will have to deal with ex coming over to the house any time soon. BM has been over to the house a couple times to pick SS11 up. It was 2 minutes max of her in and out. She would never have a reason to be in our house when we aren't there (we live 3 hours away from her). I would prefer her not have the option of going through our stuff when we aren't there though.

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Fuck no.

My ex is not even allowed to know where I live. Much less come in my home.

I have a security system with cameras in my home for a reason. If bm ever came in without an adult invitation, I'd have her arrested.
gr8d8n3mom
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Before DH and his x even split up, they moved (her idea) to another state, she said it would help work on their marriage(this was also told to me by my now sister in law) As soon as they found a house and bought it, DH's now x told him he was not allowed in HER master bedroom and by the way the house was HERS he was to move out they were divorcing.(of course they had been having problems, had he known she  was going to pull this, he wouldn't have moved his job he had been at for 14yrs!. He stayed in a recliner for 3 months, with all his stuff in a corner until he could get his own place. Once he moved out he was told he was to never come into HER house again.(the mortgage was in both their names, even tho she wasn't working)She even texted my sister in law pics telling her it was HER new home.

My DH got his own place and twice with out permission his x just took it upon herself to come on in and do something, and once claimed she had to talk to him(he was in the shower, she walked right in there on him)-That was when he said, if he isn't allowed in her house, she isn't allowed in his. There used to be a spare key for the kids when they got off the bus if Dh wasn't home from work(which was rare) since we married, and the key was getting abused when we weren't home. It's no longer there, non of the skds have keys to our house.

Since we have been married, BM has pulled some weird and crazy stuff, including carrying on hysterically on our front porch the weekend we got married. I talked to my DH and said, she will never be allowed in our home if this type of behavior keeps on. 5 yrs and counting, it still continues, tho not as often.

lnr187
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:54 PM

 ss will be 6 soon. bm gets ss friday night (not from school) so when ss does get a key, it will be left home before he leaves for his visit. we might try to allow him to take it when he gets his license and is driving himself back and forth, but if it becomes an issue, then he won't be allowed to have it. i really don't think it will be an issue when he's that old though.

Quoting pdxmum:

 

How old are the kids?

Quoting lnr187:

 i dont really allow anyone to be in my house without me here. on occasion my mother in law is here babysitting, but that's the extent of it. i would never allow bm in my home without us here.

 

 

 

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Bm is not allowed in our home due to her issues in the past with false allegations. Thankfully we live two hours away so this isn't an issue.

my ex and sm are in my home constantly. Doesn't bother me a bit as I know they are respectful of my space. 

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