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So what about our ex's in our house?

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Just curious, so many of us are not Ok with BM in our home when we are not home.  What about our ex's?

And really, at some point most kids have keys to their home so unless you specifically tell kids that their mom or dad are not allowed in your home, what can you really do about it?  DH and I are out of town every other weekend.  Any of the 5 kids and two ex's (BM and BF) could come in our home when we aren't there.

So if BM or BF really had nefarious motivations, they could easily get in your house.  Why nt just invite them to do so?

I used to care about BF coming in my home, he just couldn't accept it wasn't his home anymore and would just start going through the mail.  I wish I could have been more compassionate at the time but fuck that, I hated him so I made a big old bitch fest about him not being allowed in.

At this point, I just don't care.  Really about either of them.  I would actually prefer not to be there if BM had to come over for some reason.

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:32 PM
Replies (41-45):
leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 5:39 PM

BM can never come into my home and if her son lived here, he would be told she isn't allowed there.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:07 PM

BM lives two hours away, so the odds of her being in our home alone are basically non-existent.  I'm not sure she'd do anything nefarious at this point, but there was certainly a time when I'd have expected no less than the worst behavior.  She's changed a lot, all in very good ways.

I don't have any BFs or ex-husbands to contend with, so I can't answer the part.  My breakups were free and clear.  That said, and though my long gone ex-fiance wasn't a bad guy, I wouldn't want him in my house with or without me there.  With luck, we'll never cross paths again.  (Awkward.)  That's where I have a difficult time putting myself in DH's shoes... or BM's for that matter.  I just can't imagine having to deal with an ex.

kargirl42
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:15 PM
both skids have keys... so if we are not here at least one skid always insists she comes in if she is dropping off..and she does come in when she damn well shouldn't... and she knows it... have already had many discussions with by bf about her coming in house... says he'll take care of it... I never stepbrother in her house nor do we even have a key.. in fact she has stated she doesn't want dh in house when dropping off boys.. so he doesn't go in and stands in the door way..
amazing how she feels it's ok to come in our house..
newstepmom61811
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 6:17 PM
BM is not welcome on our property...after she hit me she will never be allowed anywhere near my home and the kids know it...I have made it clear why and they have never asked...
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:27 PM
XH is in my house almost every drop off and pick up.. Actually DD(who is 11 months) is infatuated with him. She loves him. lol I am welcome in his home. We are honestly friends. Before DH and I started dating, DH thought I was going to work things out with Xh, because I told him I fell asleep on XH's couch (I had worked a double, went in at 2:45pm and was off at 715am, no sleep before I took ds to X at 3pm) I sat down and we were talking about Ds and I just fell asleep. Bm use to be welcomed in our home. It was easier when she was welcomed. She kinda abused that and made accusations later. So no more.
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